<Center><h2>I am new here in this wonderful community, I hope you like my publication</Center></h2>

![dia-mundial-del-sueno-por-que-no-duermo-y-cual-es-la-solucion-al-insomnio.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmcVAhK1djHNoFjHVTD3vKFCYkNPaBi2orsdDu8626oGzG/dia-mundial-del-sueno-por-que-no-duermo-y-cual-es-la-solucion-al-insomnio.jpg)[fuente](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.elconfidencial.com/amp/alma-corazon-vida/2014-07-17/por-que-no-estoy-durmiendo-esta-noche-y-que-puedo-hacer-para-lograrlo_162501/)


What a night, it was impossible to fall asleep, everything reminded me of you, a feeling of presence, like an impregnation on the walls of the house.

Echo words of love and others not so flattering as well.

I can't sleep without feeling your body next to mine. And that gave me heat, that if the snoring, that intimacy that age requires and we value as a plus of freedom.

Now that hole, the silence, that cold of the old bones keep me awake.

It was many years, most of my life and, suddenly, death tears you from me, leaving me mired in helplessness.

I seem to hear you in the bathroom, smell your massage, that intense morning coffee. It is difficult for me to accept that it is impossible, a hallucination, that desire that refuses to accept the new reality.

Leave your ashes in the garden, there next to the carob tree where you used to sit when illness had you prostrate.

It's like feeling like you're still here, somehow inexplicable but emotionally heavy.

It comforts me that you are not in a cemetery, to be able to talk to you every day, not on religious and commercial holidays.

I feel protected, somewhat guarded, under control.
Food hurts, I don't feel like making it, shopping, I feed myself with the easy, fast and immediate.

I must tell you that they behaved well, your death filled my phone with condolences, some calls and a couple of visits.

I do not know how to continue without you, without anyone, without motives or desire.

What a night of nightmares, that feeling of being observed, of an immaterial reality that is present.

I have heard your armchair, the noise of the spoon in the cup, steps on the stairs ... And I know that it is not possible, that it is the imagination that refuses to let you go.
The dog has taken your place. He was sad, he hugged him and he slept with me.

I admit that his warmth has kept me deceived, calm, safe.

Without you nothing will be the same, it is another stage, another version of myself, more space, other sounds, memories, sleepless nights and acts that I never did and now do.
You left without leaving, you stayed without being, I sleep with a dog and you rest in the garden.

Author: @alexandrabarrez