When I was 21-years old, I needed my wisdom teeth taken out, and my mother took me to get it done. I needed to be put under, and my wisdom teeth, which were coming in sideways needed to be surgically removed. The surgery went well, and my mother picked me up and took me to a McDonalds for a milk shake I requested. Shortly thereafter, the anaesthesia wore off, and the pain began. I avoided taking the opiate pain killers I had been prescribed. I was on the road to recovery.

Several days after the surgery, I visited my friend's college, which was still in session. We drank and smoked cigars all weekend, and had a blast. Then the pain started in my jaw. It felt like each heartbeat pulsed pain into my jaw, and I went back to the dentist that had done the surgery. It was dry sockets, where a dental surgery wound heals improperly and causes intense pain. I needed the scabs of skin that were forming in my gums to be removed. The pain subsided, and I healed normally.

Thirteen years later, I was at a family function, and wisdom tooth surgery cam up. I mentioned that I believed I was responsible for my dry-sockets, since I had drank and smoked shortly after my surgery. My mother breathed a sigh of relief, as she believed herself to be the cause of the dry sockets due to the milkshake I had drank so soon after the surgery. Who is responsible? I don't know, and at this point, it's rather humorous.

This story goes to show that we often blame ourselves for suffering that we are not fully responsible for. Who was responsible for the dry sockets that plagued me? It's likely the collective fault of the surgeon, myself and my mother in some percentage on a pie chart. When large companies experience loss, the responsibility is divided among all the actors. BP accepted a certain amount of blame for the gulf oil spill. 

Stop blaming a single party, actor or factor for a negative outcome. Communicate with all your friends and stakeholders frequently and ask questions. 

Picture from Pixabay.



![](https://d1vof77qrk4l5q.cloudfront.net/img/0d986c72b13b91da37e2715394d94fbcb104858d.png)

Posted using [Partiko Android](https://partiko.app/referral/anarchy999)