Hey everyone,
As I mentioned in my [**Universal Music Language - #1 - Rihanna Diamonds In The Sky - Dedicated To Brian and Lynn**](https://steemit.com/spirituality/@angelacs/universal-music-language-1-rihanna-diamonds-in-the-sky-dedicated-to-brian-and-lynn), I joined another accountability group this past Sunday.
One of the things all participants in this group do at the beginning of every week is to list their chosen focus for the week.
Then each person lists the five steps to take during the week to make progress on that main focus. The main focus can be either personal or business/career-oriented.
The very first step I listed in the group to support my week's main focus was to sleep and rest more.
It's become a habit to just go, go, go, work-wise. And I've found myself feeling like I'm again treating myself as if I'm a machine. It's just so easy for me to slip back into going overboard working long hours.
It's always been like that, mostly because I truly have always enjoyed my work.
I found out the hard way just last year that continuing to go overboard, work balance-wise, is not a good idea. Part of that was an emergency hospital experience between late March in to April and a year basically spent recovering from multiple health issues.
This morning, I came upon **@saramiller**'s post, [**Honoring Health, Honoring My Sister 💛**](https://steemit.com/health/@saramiller/honoring-health-honoring-my-sister).
There is NO way I could NOT click in to read her post. My own sister's death on Thanksgiving morning 2016 caused me to shut down and begin a downward spiral that only an emergency visit to the hospital was able to stop.
Regrouping, refocusing my work after she passed without also completing the grieving and healing process led to me running away from facing the deep hole inside.
I couldn't work hard enough. I allowed myself absolutely no rest unless I was literally about to drop from exhaustion. I'd begun another self destructive cycle again with exhausting, almost non-stop work.
By mid-February, I knew I was in trouble physically. Yet I pressed on. Between then and hitting the emergency room in late March 10+ days after my birthday, everything was just a slow motion meltdown.
I kept running away because I didn't want to peel all the way through the multiple onion layers of devastation. And for someone who knows, practices and teaches emotional release, stuffing emotions is a no-no.
This morning when I read **@saramiller** sharing her journey back to wholeness after her sister's death 18 years ago, tears poured down my face.
I started writing a comment, several times. And I couldn't finish it. I had to... go to sleep. To allow rest but also a couple layers of integrative healing.
Before that though, I created the graphic for this new **gratitude** series I've been wanting to start but haven't thus far.
My collective experiences over the past few weeks here on Steemit dovetailed with my own personal journey. The journey of continuous healing and allowing in more of my multidimensional self in my practical, third dimensional real human life.
As a result of this, I'm now ready to start this brand new series of sharing what I'm grateful for.
And I am so happy and grateful, once again since last March/Aprl, to be alive. To be here. On this planet. On this Steemit community platform.
There is more to write. I especially want to post the tribute I wrote to share at my sister's memorial service in late 2016. I shared what I wrote for my father's memorial service on my blog in August 2014 after he passed on July 27th that year.
As I talked about in my recent [**Angie's Earth Prosperity Sound Healing Blessing Prayer-#1-Introduction**](https://steemit.com/dlive/@angelacs/a37483e0-4a63-11e8-aa5b-83da28bb4ae3) post, after I published my tribute to him on my then site-hosted **"Angela's Voice"** blog in 2014, I promptly stopped blogging very shortly after.
It is joining Steemit and meeting the people here, that have helped me to start blogging regularly again.
I have never been able to share my sister's tribute online. Reading and tearing up through **Sara**'s post about her sister earlier this morning helped me peel further down. I feel much more ready now to share what I wrote about her one and a half years ago. And I soon will.
Another simple but very real example of Steemit helping me personally. In this case, through **Sara** and her sharing of how it's been for her 18 years after her sister's passing and the Blessings that have occurred since then. I look forward to being able to share that too, 16+ years from now. Thank you, **Sara** for helping me allow in healing of that hole more this morning.
For now, I just want to put what I'm happy and grateful about in black and white right here in this post and begin the habit of sharing that regularly.
So circling back to where I started....
### Five Things I Am Happy and Grateful About Today
#### I allowed myself to sleep when I needed to
I stopped working this morning after being up most of the night so as to take care of myself.
I brushed my teeth, lay down, did quite a bit of deep breathing to center and consciously root in more of my multidimensional awareness as I entered the sleep state.
I slept for hours and only woke because the one daily alarm I allow on my phone went off.
#### I found even more interesting Steemians and Steemit groups
In the course of the last week and a half or so, I've found several women and groups here on Steemit that I feel inspired by.
I flounder around in Discord and have joined many groups trying to find a couple I feel comfy in. But my tech limits make me shy to participate, limiting me to meeting and greeting Steemians via comments only.
This past weekend, my son walked me through setting up my mike and other elements of how Discord works so I now feel more confident about working the tech part of Discord.
Next week, I hope to start making more human contact within its walls. And for that, I'm happy and grateful. Meeting and greeting on Steemit is one of my most enjoyable social activities. I can just imagine how much more fulfilling smaller group interaction will be.
#### I am so grateful for time freedom
This is related to #1 but different. I have given myself the gift of time freedom since 1987 which was the last time I held a full time job. It hasn't been easy.
But I am so grateful that I have the freedom to work at night if I choose, when everyone in the western hemisphere is mostly sleeping. And the freedom to be able to list as my very first step in my new accountability group that I want to sleep and nap more this week.
#### I am so grateful to be able to focus on me totally for the first time in over 25 years
My children are now young adults. I am essentially free again to travel and live anywhere I want to in the world, anytime I want to. Right now, that allows me to visit my mother who is in the US more often. I look forward to reorganizing my life to accomplish that regularly.
#### My cats
Who live inside our home but also freely roam outside in the yard, hunting, sleeping, sunning themselves as they choose. They bring in the energy of mother nature all throughout the day and night and share their stories and love and presence with me when they choose. They remind me always about the importance of self reliance, independence and setting good boundaries all the time.
What or who inspired you this past week?
How are you feeling as you enter another weekend having traversed this past week?
How will you create next week differently?
Until we talk again, Angel Blessings and enjoy your weekend,
Angela
PS You can find my latest **"Angela's Voice"** blog post archive here:
https://steemit.com/blogging/@angelacs/angela-s-voice-on-steemit-blog-post-archive-weeks-1-11-sibwa-challenge-week-9-day-3-entry
PPS You can also get my private **"Angela's Voice"** new blog post notifications here:
http://www.AngelaChenShui.com/avblog
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