Does a parent ever recover from a child dying? by angiemitchell

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· @angiemitchell · (edited)
$9.94
Does a parent ever recover from a child dying?
The very quick answer to this question is a flat no.  

Parents may in time over a few years or so work through the terrible raw grief that overwhelms them at the time of a child's passing but the sadness is all always there.   It is of course very individual as to how each person grieves.  There is no set recipe that fits everybody. 

Most regrettably children of all ages pass over whether it is a result of illness or accidents and sadly all out of the control of parents.    If parents had their say death of a child would never occur. 

Even those mothers who give birth to a still born baby continue to experience sorrow particularly on the children's birthday each year.   A professional colleague in my workplace would have a week away in solitude on her daughter's anniversary every year. 

But, there is another category of children that bears a mention and that is the adult child.   Watching a couple of good friends cope with the sudden and unexpected passing of their sons has filled me with immense sorrow.   Both were young, active and fit with a future.   One, a dad of four children  just dropped dead of a heart attack last Christmas at the tender age of 35.  Even though my friend has admitted that she has now moved out of the dark depression stage the sadness is easily seen in her eyes.  

The other friend's son was very recently shot by home invaders in a town outside Houston Texas 5 days ago.   This young Australian, a husband and dad of two young children was only 29 years old.  It is going to take a lot for both parents and his siblings to come to terms with the murder as well as the loss of their son and brother.  I can't imagine how the distraught wife is feeling right now. 


![](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmXMnZjU21jJsDLvdGJwGberDtqVVtqkWd8tTHqSbRAV7E/IMG_7593.jpg)


Usually when a child passes over it is very common for a parent to say, "It is not right that my child dies before I do, a parent should go first, children should be burying me."   There is no answer a friend can give.    

The only thing any friend can do is listen and be mindful of the pain a friend is going through, understanding that the five stages of grief detailed in the Kubler-Ross model is experienced in a circular way.   Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are felt over and over at different times and at different intensity levels by the parents.  Just like all other people who are grieving for a loved one who has passed over.  

The pain of loosing a loved one never stops, it just dims a little over time. 



Cheers and Blessings


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vote details (89)
@magic8ball ·
To the question in your title, my Magic 8-Ball says:<blockquote>As I see it, yes</blockquote><hr>*Hi! I'm a bot, and this answer was posted automatically. Check [this post out](https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@magic8ball/introducing-the-magic-8-ball-bot) for more information.*
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@jayna ·
I’m sorry for your friends’ losses. It is always hard, and there is little anyone can do for the grieving parents. I’ve known and experienced too much of this around me. The worst story ever was the young child of my neighbor who was killed by a relative in a murder-suicide. That pain will never go away. But as you said, people do typically find their way somehow, and my neighbor certainly is. He really works at focusing on living.
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@angiemitchell ·
Hello @jayna, so many sad stories out there.  My heart goes out to all of them.
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