It’s what I do at 2:30 in the morning when I can’t sleep. 5 Minute Freewrite by arbitrarykitten

writing · @arbitrarykitten · Nov 16 '17

$14.83

It’s what I do at 2:30 in the morning when I can’t sleep. 5 Minute Freewrite

The kittens, snug against my legs, stealing my warmth.

They think. I’m truly the one stealing the heat from their bodies. 

I try to distract, I try to perform non think.  But the think happens.  The thoughts creep in and take over.  

Like burglars in the night, they take me away from my warm bed to 

somewhere cold. Somewhere dark. Lonely.

I can’t see, it’s so dark. I can’t feel.  It’s so nothing.

My bare feet, crunching against the lost.

The forgotten.  

Was it ever? 

I never truly had it.  It wasn’t mine to begin with. 

<p><div class="pull-right">https://steemitimages.com/DQmY87Gp4rBmmq9mmcp8FT6KB1q24kgtG6HTwSqAKzzZSeM/image.png</div>   
 But I thought it was. It should have been, after all.

all I gave.  Until the giving was gone.

I turn on the tv, hoping for a distraction.

Take me out of the cold. Give me a light. A breath.

Just a little.  

The kittens stir their little kitten sleeps, whiskers twitching in a kitten game. Oblivious to the cold and gloom that surrounds us.  Or, is it only me?

Lost and lone on a highway of no-thing.  Ever leading to more empty.  It is only me.

The happy tv people have no idea what it’s like to be cold.  To be forgotten.  

I wish I could sleep like the kittens. I wish I could happy like the tv people.  A happy ending every thirty minutes.

It’s what I do at 2:30 in the morning when I can’t sleep.

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A special thank you to the bright and lovely @mariannewest for hosting the daily 5 minute  [#Freewrite challenge](https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-27-5-minute-freewrite-prompt-it-s-what-i-do-at-2-30-in-the-morning-when-i-can-t-sleep) and to all the brave and strong freewriters  ♡

*image via pixabay*

<center> 

___
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___

**I appreciate your support  :)** 

**With Love and Light and Good Mojo to my Tribe!**

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@binkyprod · Nov 16 '17

aw /hugs

That was cute ;)

👍 stokjockey

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@arbitrarykitten · Nov 16 '17

Hugs right back, thank you <3

👍 stokjockey

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@felt.buzz · Nov 16 '17

Great piece. Does it help clear your mind and allow sleep to come to you once more?

👍 stokjockey

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@arbitrarykitten · Nov 16 '17 (edited)

Eventually... I am a survivor of a kidnapping and attempted murder- the assailant broke in as I slept. Sleep takes a while to find me...

Thank you  ♡

👍 stokjockey, felt.buzz

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@f3nix · Nov 16 '17

I can't imagine the trauma... must so  hard to get rid of the psychological consequences. Im really sorry to hear that @arbitrarykitten

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3 replies

@felt.buzz · Nov 16 '17

That is terrible. Sleep should be safe place. Sending you positive vibes. Peace and love

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1 reply

@mariannewest · Nov 16 '17

That makes your son's experience at the school double traumatic. My heart goes out to you. Hugs!!!

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1 reply

@stokjockey · Nov 16 '17

@arbitrarykitten now you got me all excited Late at Night !

👍 stokjockey

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@majes.tytyty · Nov 16 '17

Fine piece of writing, particularly since you did that in 5 minutes. 

(Something similar would take me a day or more to write, change, edit, rewrite, edit, scrap, etc, ad infinitum.)

I really like this line ... "I wish I could be happy like the tv people. A happy ending every thirty minutes."

It says so much more than the simple words say.

p.s. It should read "be happy." :-)

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@arbitrarykitten · Nov 16 '17

$0.46

I actually meant I wish I could 'happy' like them. Like happy is a thing they do, not being happy :)

👍 majes.tytyty

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@majes.tytyty · Nov 16 '17

$0.19

Excellent. Extra marks (well, extra vote%) for being creative, and a few more extra for being surprisingly creative.

👍 majes.tytyty

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@smvh · Nov 16 '17

good idea,thanks

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@arbitrarykitten · Nov 16 '17

Glad I could help ;)

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@sift666 · Nov 16 '17

$0.05

Kitten pics...


![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmeQX2NpKexpJ66txMYkuYNFpFS9ATtJCSQwdAke7ZbU2h/image.png)

👍 arbitrarykitten

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@arbitrarykitten · Nov 16 '17

$0.04

Awes! Cuddly ones, too! <3

👍 sift666

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@theywillkillyou · Nov 16 '17

Nice writing! I know the feeling when you're awake in the middle of the night and all you do is think about random things! I hope you had the chance to sleep some more! :)

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@arbitrarykitten · Nov 16 '17

Lol yes, I did :)

Thank you!

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@mrblu · Nov 16 '17

$0.03

^_^ upvoted

👍 spicetrader

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@tremendospercy · Nov 16 '17

$0.23

Hey Babe, this little fella is the cutest.
https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/cute-kittens-30-57b30ad41bc90__605.jpg
Or is it this one?
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/eb/86/75/eb86752f892a8991ac9b1adb4c0ca290--cutest-kittens-ever-cute-kittens.jpg
It's a tie for me. 😉

👍 tremendospercy

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@marcoriccardi · Nov 16 '17 (edited)

> I wish I could sleep like the kittens. I wish I could happy like the tv people. A happy ending every thirty minutes.

Who doesn't want it? But I think It would be a little boring in the long term.

Welcome in my followed people! I'm trying to follow and support all the freewriters. :)

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@omra-sky · Nov 16 '17

I knew this prompt would elicit some "deeper" responses. And given your history well...sending you my good vibes all the way from NY.

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@mariannewest · Nov 16 '17

and today's prompt https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-28-5-minute-freewrite-prompt-ooze

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@brisby · Nov 18 '17

Hugs to you sweetie! I don't wish those nights on anyone.   Those moments when you tell yourself it's okay, things check out, but your heart and your lungs don't believe you. Do you have something that you can hold in your hand  that won't hurt you if you fall asleep holding it and roll over onto it?  Maybe something that your boys made for you? When I was younger I had a marble alarm in my room and after it would go off I would have the hardest time falling back to sleep.  I would hold this bookmark my grandma gave me.   It had a tassle with a metal sun on the end and I would run my fingers over the Sun and strain my ears to listen to my room.   I don't know if it was the repetitive motion or just the pure exhaustion but  I think that having an object in my hand made me feel grounded.   Maybe a talisman would help you? I'm glad  that you have/are taking courses to strengthen and grow. It's good to know that you have a strong set of claws to protect yourself with.   Take care and I wish you nights of warmth and dreams of joy.

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@arbitrarykitten · Nov 19 '17 (edited)

Well, there is always a feline to cuddle, which is helpful :)

Thank you so much doll :)

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