This might be a weird topic but for some reason it interests me. Animals in general intrigue me, I mean it's like real life Pokemon or Steem monsters, though I'd advise against trying to catch most of them.

Today I'm going to show you some of the weird genitalia of the Animal Kingdom.

## Size matters.

Maybe not to humans, but in animals, penis size can vary dramatically. Whilst the largest phallus's by mass belong to whales and elephants etc they are definitely far from being the largest compared to body size. Some animals have a Johnson longer than themselves when erect. Some creatures even "swordfight" with their penis's to determine which one of them will become the female and which will be the male, weird right.

If you thought your dog "lipstick" as its colloquially known was weird just wait till you see some of these.


### The Echidna

The Echidna is an egg laying mammal who spends most of it's time burrowing in the earth or shoving its cute little nose into anthills for a tasty snack. they are super cute, not at all dangerous and have one of the weirdest penis's of the animal kingdom. 

It has 4 heads. yes 4. During mating, the heads on one side "shut down" and do not grow in size; the other two are used to release semen into the female's two-branched reproductive tract. It's like a maze in there. They cary between which heads get used, I have no idea why but it is definitely a very odd sight.

![](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmSrohJRK1jAiaaBvbtehBv4ryhZgDsm26bxjy7rvHBfHA/image.png) 
[source](https://news.softpedia.com/news/Why-Do-Echidnas-Have-Four-Headed-Penises-69334.shtml)


# South American lake duck

The south American lake duck has a corkscrew shaped penis, not only that but it is the largest of all vertebrates and has a 5:4 ratio to body length. This means its genitals are longer than it is.
This strange evolutionary trait developed along with a corkscrew shaped vagina that twirls in the opposite direction. Male ducks essentially use their penis to "lasso" the female and then force intercourse however the complexity of their reproductive system means females largely retain control and most forced copulation does not result in insemination.

![](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmTwWyZcNExdQPwSgKiKZrFQ83p8Q9pr3L6JzUpobFFHW2/image.png)
[source](http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2001/09/14/366856.htm)

This is especially strange because most birds don't even possess a penis, mating occurs by briefly touching of the genital openings, commonly referred to as a cloacal kiss.


# Argonauts

Argonauts are a type of octopus that possess a detachable penis.

The penis is actually one of its arms and has its own tail and organs of sensation to assist it.
Basically when a female is nearby and they are ready to mate the arm detaches from the rest of the body and swims over to the female before pumping sperm into her. It is the only animal I know of that has sex without the actual animal being present in the scenario. weird. Imagine if humans were like that, there would just be flying dicks everywhere


# The honeybee

When a Bee stings you they leave behind the stinger when they fly away but this leaves a large part of its body there as well and the Bee usually dies very quickly. turns out sex is pretty much the same for male honeybees. Upon mounting a virgin queen bee in flight , the male will inseminate her around seven to 10 times. Unfortunately for him when he flies off, his penis stays behind, ripping off his body and taking a good chunk of his abdomen with him. In the odd event he doesn’t die very quickly, he’ll still be exiled from the hive anyway as he has no more use to them. Poor bee. 

![](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmfEGADgLJX8gXY63HXFkasKztH65RVqVdwGFKD4kmUxq3/image.png)
[source](![](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmfEGADgLJX8gXY63HXFkasKztH65RVqVdwGFKD4kmUxq3/image.png))


##Bedbugs

Okay so the actual penis of a Bedbug isn't that strange. but their method of reproduction is disturbing to say the least. Coined "Traumatic insemination" and it is exactly how it sounds.
Rather than using a vaginal opening the male bedbug takes his erect penis and pierces straight through the abdomen or stomach of the female, he then ejaculates into the cavity and lets nature do the rest. 

I know alot of women have had some shitty sexual experiences but at least you're not a bedbug is all I can say.



# Apes/humans etc

Is this really just a humble brag? Humans have the largest penis of all the apes with a median lenght of 4-5 inches. Most other apes and chimps however have far smaller penis's. New research has shown that the human penis has actually formed the head as a possible way of eliminating competing sperm, acting like a "shovel" to remove competition before inserting their own.

This essentially means we have  evolved to be promiscuous. Stop slutshaming, nature made us this way! 


Anyway that's about all I have for you for now. There are a huge amount of weird phallus's floating around" No pun intended Argonaut) and we discover new weird ones everyday.

For now I hope you enjoyed my weird ass article. Peaceeee