I’m usually pretty hard on myself. I am a tough critic about mostly everything involving stupid ol’ me. From the fact that I make old people sounds when I do....pretty much anything from tying my shoes to getting up to eating. I hate my hair. Holy FUCK do I hate it. Listening to my voice makes me want to rip out my own larynx. I try to please everyone and end up falling short fairly often. My memory is pure liquid dogshit and I am nowhere near where I expected and hoped to be at this point in my life. 

But today...I am going to give myself a round of applause. I pulled off organizing something for my business that I’m really happy with and proud of. All of the obstacles were stacked against me and I made it work. I problem solved these past few days and put out fire after fire. 

![51AE1DD7-30BF-4EB6-9ABC-82B2837460BD.jpeg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmdqkgzJ4d1RtMUckdzhEyc6VGvkhhQPnevZL1CVESuHjW)


It’s like the past few days I’ve been locked in one of those Escape Rooms. The clock is ticking down and each puzzle I solve just led to another head scratcher. Then with seconds left...I locate the final key and free myself. 

That’s what the past few days have been. Today was an extremely challenging day but I made it work...and since I’ll never in a zillion years receive props for accomplishing this...I’m going to give it to myself. So this...this is for me today. 

![43E13E8D-B2F0-4375-B39E-3BA42596F6DF.gif](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmT49XpPZbWBh3mmhTXhM1pUGh5wz9UhBvjaUaxSTsWi4q)*Clap away my friend*

Too often do I just let things be. Well today was the start of something new. I’m going to try be more proactive and assertive instead of passive. Especially when it’s to better my life and move forward. So fucking tired of just settling and not moving forward but instead being held back. 

My mind goes a million miles a minute and I’m always thinking and pondering of the “what if’s”...I need to start capitalizing on the one good gift I do have which is my thoughts. Tackle more of these things instead of just letting these bright ideas falter. Today, while insanely frustrating to no end showed me something that I’ve known for quite some time now but have ignored. Today was key and I honestly feel that several years from now, I’ll look back at this day as one that helped shape my future for the positive. 

Blewitt 


*I should add to my insane ramblings that the circumstances of the past few days don’t even matter at this point. The fact that I now see the bigger picture after accomplishing the tasks is the important thing.*