I got 99 problems, but a beach ain't one. by business

beaches · @business · May 24 '17 (edited)

$1.61

I got 99 problems, but a beach ain't one.

The water is completely undrinkable, burns your eyes and occasionally will just suck you out to sea, throw you onto something sharp, or  deliver a monster you can't see, that will rip you to pieces. Also Google "box jellyfish"; I'll wait.

There's cancer rays that'll burn your skin in minutes, unless you cover yourself in a foul smelling greasy cream. Your pants will slowly get filled with an abrasive material and did I mention whole things on an angle? So, no; no I don't like long walks on the beach.

Before you go, make sure you're in good shape, because you'll basically be wearing underwear in front of strangers.

Want to put your sandwich down for a second? Congratulations; now it's completely fucked. 

Nudists love the beach. Oh, there's sand and shitty useless water? I guess that gives you a license to pull your junk out; because clearly, we drove 20 miles to see a 72 year olds balls.

https://thumb7.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/732172/123435574/stock-photo-portrait-of-two-shirtless-elderly-men-isolated-on-white-background-123435574.jpg

👍 stellabelle, business, tuck-fheman, runridefly, circuitshark

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@tuck-fheman · May 24 '17

$1.49

You've never truly lived until you've gazed into the eyes of some old guys sack while eating a sandwich. 

#thestruggleisreal

👍 stellabelle, business

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@business · May 24 '17

$0.07

You made me laugh like Bill Burr huffing nitrous oxide. Aheuh hueh hueh hueh hueh hueh hueh.

👍 tuck-fheman

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@stellabelle · May 25 '17

$0.06

https://media.giphy.com/media/i2kP5scZdAanS/giphy.gif

👍 tuck-fheman

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@tuck-fheman · May 25 '17

Looks like me.

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@stellabelle · May 25 '17

$0.07

best line: 
> There's cancer rays that'll burn your skin in minutes, unless you cover yourself in a foul smelling greasy cream

👍 business

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@business · May 25 '17

$1.09

I felt like this post was a bit hacky.

👍 stellabelle

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@stellabelle · May 25 '17

my only wish is that it was longer.

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1 reply

@stellabelle · May 25 '17

nur forgesi pri ĉiuj ke merdo ni parolis. Mi jam ian forigita ĉion de mia menso. Steemit pli bone ĉiuokaze.

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