How do I judge Thee?
Let me count the many ways . . .
I am judging Me.
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I have found this week's EcoTrain Question of the Week to be both intriguing and thought-provoking, and as this is something that is drastically affecting each of us individually, as well as our world at large, I decided to add my views, which I suspect may diverge substantially from some.
So why do we judge?
First and foremost, because we are hardwired to do so. We humans judge all the time.
Much of it is learned behavior, but even babies, prior to learning language, [have been demonstrated to prefer those similar to themselves, and even to prefer that those dissimilar be punished.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4374623/)
Personally, I found the results of this study to be quite unsettling.
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Is there any value in such judging?
Yes. And no.
Clearly from a survival standpoint, babies being wholly dependent for their survival on the adults around them, bonding with those most similar to yourself would lead to a far greater chance of surviving childhood.
But from the standpoint of eventually blending into greater society, one hopes that better mechanisms would be learned, leaving such infantile mechanisms behind, so that no one would be punished merely for being different.
Clearly, many societies, our own included, have yet to release these immature notions in favor of something more mature and workable.
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But this begs the larger issue that, in the end, all judgment is primarily fear-based, and stems from - and is preceded by - self-judgment.
This became canon through the story of Yeshua, being asked to condemn the adulteress by the men who had dragged her to him, with the intent of stoning her.
When Yeshua put them off, by dropping to his knees and beginning to draw in the sand, they asked him pointedly to condemn her, at which point he instructed them to let he who ___judged himself___ to be free from sin to throw the first stone.
Judge yourself first, ___before___ you judge others. In this way we can learn true compassion.
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From a psychological standpoint, we tend to judge most harshly those people who share perceived flaws with us, that we have yet to forgive ourselves for having.
The more harshly we judge ourselves; the more harshly we judge them.
And then, if we really want to venture down into the rabbit hole of the spirit, there is the argument, which is being borne out by recent discoveries in quantum physics, that regardless of how many people are engaging in this conversation, the reality is that there is only one of us here.
We are in essence each facets of Divine Oneness, literal shards of spirit acting as mirrors for one another, across space and time.
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I have written before of my parents' modeling nonjudgment for me as a child, and of their shared instruction that I take people as they present themselves, and not prejudge them based upon race, creed, color, religion, or any other artificial label.
That said, I remember in the mid-1990s when a close friend told me that I was the least judgmental person she knew, and I literally laughed out loud. I judge all the time. We all do.
I do try to be aware of when I am judging, and to examine the reasons why, and for this I find Byron Katie's [___Four Questions___](http://thework.com/en) to be invaluable tools in deciphering my own motivations and prejudices, and in uncovering what truth there is to be found there.
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The ___Four Questions___, as put forth in The Work, are as follows:
"2. Ask the Four Questions
"Investigate each of your statements from the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet using the four questions. The Work is meditation. It’s about opening to your heart, not about trying to change your thoughts. Ask the questions, then go inside and wait for the deeper answers to surface.
Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)
Can you absolutely know that it's true? (Yes or no.)
How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
Who would you be without the thought?"
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By using the Four Questions regularly, I not only prevent myself from judging others harshly, but find ways of being kinder to myself, something that most of us could benefit from doing.
It is also a way of getting to the bottom of things, of finding out what is true for me in this moment, and a means of letting go that is far faster, and more effective, than any other method I've been introduced to thus far. I strongly recommend it.
As humans, we are not going to stop judging, no matter how much we may desire to do so. But we can and should examine those judgments, keep those that serve us and weed out those that do not, and refine our methods of dealing with our truths in such a way that benefits us and those with whom we come into contact.
We can indeed become more than the sum of our judgments.
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This post, and all those from now until the end of 2018, I am dedicating to the work of #tarc and #yah, aka @rhondak's nonprofit dog rescue and @sircork's charity @youarehope.
Half the liquid proceeds earned from my posts will be evenly split between the two organizations, and more when I can manage it.
The photo above was taken by me a shortly after we moved to Tennessee, using my Canon SX 30 iS camera.
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