[image source](https://pixabay.com/illustrations/massage-este-relax-relaxation-spa-1237913/)
I went to self care myself last weekend. I treat my ~~escape~~ self care by getting a good 60 minutes of massage.
Then I decided to walk back home which took me about 20 minutes(about 7 minutes by public bus) and it was freezing cold outside. I managed to sneak in the mini shopping mall on the way back home to just window shopping and I bought myself a pair of room boots. Every time the cold season coming, I will get my toes swelling and itchy, they call it chilblain. Hence my obsess on anything to do with warming the feet in this season.
I did a research about chilblain some weeks ago about it after more than 10 cold seasons of suffering( ~~this epiphany revelation occured because I told my partner I got swelling toes and its itchy,then he suspected I got some virus infection and advised me not to touch the kids without washing my hands!~~), The cure is simple, you just need to always keep your feet warm. I never missed putting on my socks, maybe my socks was not warm enough. I bought warm thick socks after my revelation on chilblain and it's been passed 3 weeks, my toes is fine now.
Well, I got to be just with myself for about 3 hours(introvert me time)
[image source](https://pixabay.com/photos/coffee-book-flowers-setting-2390136/)
Back on the topic introvert, if you're not familiar with this term it's just another way of recharge or unwinds yourself after a long exhausting day (~~days for me as I'm a single parent for most of the weekdays~~) **This applied to all human beings no matter what your pronoun is.**
What you usually do to calm yourself and get back your energy and sanity? The answer will reveal whether your style of rejuvenating yourself the introvert style or extrovert style(~~kind of energy parasite because they suck others energy in order to recharge themselves~~).
[Emily Smith](https://www.muchnessmama.com/motherhood-as-an-introvert/) described them best,
>Many people believe extroverted versus introverted is simply a collection of character traits. Shy vs. outgoing or loud vs. quiet. That really isn’t accurate.
The difference between extroverted and introverted is how our energy levels are depleted and recharged.
Think of it this way. If your out and about and your phone dies it needs to be plugged into a power source to recharge the battery. Grab the plug and hook it up to the handy dandy mobile power pack you have in your purse cause you’re awesome like that. As the phone’s battery power increases the mobile charging pack battery decreases. The power pack is feeding the phone.
Extroverts are the phone. When they plug into external stimulus they are recharged. They get energy from group activities and social interaction.
Introverts are the power pack. when they plug into external stimulus they are depleted. They are drained after too much social interaction and can be sensitive to too much external stimulation. Introverts recharge by getting quiet, peaceful alone time.
To put it another way ***extroverts need to seek out external stimuli to function at their best and introverts need to escape those same stimuli in order to be productive***.
In this post, I will share about surviving tips for introvert mother/father can be applied too. Yes, introvert life without kids is easier to manage, you just go hermit and shut people out from your world. It's challenging when you're a mother with a clingy baby/toddler. When you’re an introvert and you become a parent, your body goes through a little shock. Suddenly you have very little alone time if any. But let’s face it, you are never truly alone from the moment your first child is born. Even for your toilet time, you’ll never walk alone when they started to crawl.
So here are some **symptoms you can see happens to yourself if you do not recharge yourself (You have been warned)**. I collected them from introverts mothers all over the internet, so you know that you're not a terrible mother when you feel rage whenever your kids wake up earlier than you or their napping time is your sacred time you always craving for.
[Kristen Howerton](https://www.quietrev.com/surviving-as-an-introverted-mother/) described her confusion and I can so relate with her,
>Years ago, I was chatting with my sister-in-law, who had babies at around the same time I did. She was talking about how much she loved her kids. When they were napping, she would go in and watch them sleep. Sometimes, she said, she was tempted to wake them up so that she could play with them.
When I heard that, I felt as if I was punched in the gut. I had never, in my few years as a parent, felt that way. Did she have some kind of innate mothering instinct that I lacked?
>I was overwhelmed and outnumbered. The volume of work it took to keep my household running was exhausting. But there was something more to it than physical fatigue: parenting was emotionally exhausting. I felt trapped. I lived for naptime and bedtime. If one of the kids woke up early, I felt rage. I was desperate to get time away from them in any way I could. My overwhelming thoughts when they were napping were, Please don’t wake up. Please give me a little more time to myself. Please, just a few more minutes. I couldn’t imagine waking them up on purpose unless there was a fire.
Then this is from Emily Smith,
>It all culminated one day when I screamed “Why can’t you all just shut up for five flipping seconds!?!?!” as I swiped a Corel plate off the table which then shattered into a thousand pieces.
Author of Introverted mom [Jamie C. Martin](https://www.amazon.com/Introverted-Mom-Guide-Guilt-Quiet-ebook/dp/B07LGJGMNK/ref=as_li_ss_tl?keywords=the%20introverted%20mom&qid=1558364129&s=gateway&sr=8-1&linkCode=sl1&tag=mymanmon-20&linkId=a86e0f74617f45bf5763ad9469654f4c&language=en_US) shared her own epiphany,
>The glass left my hand and slammed into the wall on the far side of the bedroom, shattering into hundreds of shards on the carpet.
As I turned to the side, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror before sinking to the ground in sobs.
I didn’t recognize myself.
And many other situations from fellow ~~monster~~ introverted mothers, sound the same just different version of them.
Just know that you're not bad mother/father when you feel this way or act like that, because you're just an **introvert!**
[image source](https://pixabay.com/photos/girl-woman-read-book-sit-nature-3528292/)
Now **to survive all this chaos/challenging season of our introvert motherhood/parenthood**, here are some advises and tips from them senior introverted mom club,
**Introverted moms NOT to do list by Kirsten Brunner :**
1. Avoid beating yourself up for craving (or enjoying) time away from your littles: My favorite time of day is after the kids are tucked in bed – and most introverts I know feel the same way. I love my kids. I really do. But I love the downtime I have after they are sound asleep. If you’re an introverted parent, you will find yourself wanting for more alone time… and that is OK. Nothing to lose your “Good Parent” badge over.
2. Avoid making zero time for solitary time: Your kids want to hang on you, sit on you and wipe their snot on you. This all gets to be a bit much. If you are a true introvert, you need some quiet time to fill up your patience reserves. And if you work outside the home during the day, you will need it even more. Find it where you can. Grab a magazine, announce that you need to visit the loo, and spend an extra ten minutes behind the locked door. If you can sneak out, go for a walk or an errand run in the evening. Maybe you can shoo your family out of the house for an hour or two on the weekend. The park or Target are good go-to places for dad and kids to wander aimlessly. Again, don’t feel guilty for requesting or taking this time. You’ll be a nicer, more effective parent if you carve out a little introvert-refueling time.
3. Avoid isolating TOO much: I’m contradicting myself here, but even we introverts can have too much alone time. Yes, you are in the constant company of a little person but that baby does not provide the conversation, laughs and intellectual stimuli that a good girlfriend can. So schedule coffee dates, play dates or martini dates every few days or weeks. Or look for a solid mom’s group in your community. You’ll find that you’ll enjoy your alone time more if you have a little out-of-the-nest time. And vice versa.
4. Avoid thinking it will be this way forever: My boys are in elementary school now. They leave at 7:30 am and don’t get home until 3. The first day that I dropped both of them off at school, I screamed with delight the entire drive home. Slight exaggeration… but not really. As the days passed, I was careful to not fill them up immediately with work or PTA volunteering (which could easily gobble up my week). I sincerely savored the time alone at home. The cool thing? When my kids walked in the door at the end of the day, I was excited to see their little dirty faces and have a big gab session. This will happen for you too. As your kids grow, their neediness will lessen. And you will find yourself with extra chunks of time to read books, clean house, or whatever floats your introverted boat.
[Antonia](https://balancethroughsimplicity.com/five-tips-for-the-introvert-mum/) **shared her tips here**,
**Develop Rhythms And Routines To Help Create Free Time During The Day**
Carve out extra free time for yourself during the day which you can then use to spend time for yourself or by yourself, whichever way helps you recharge your batteries.
**Teach Your Kids To Be Independent And Self Sufficient**
Why spend time helping your children get dressed, or tidy up their toys after playtime, for example, when they're old enough to do it themselves. It's a valuable life lesson for them too.
**Don't Be Afraid To Take Up Offers Of Help**
Don't be too proud to accept help. You're no good to anyone if you run yourself ragged and end up irritable and shouty with your loved ones. It's not a sign of weakness to say yes to help!
**Make Self Care Important**
Teach Your Children That Mummy Needs Mummy Time
Explain to your kids that everyone needs some time for themselves. Make sure that you've looked after everyone else but at the end of the day when the kids are in bed, then it's your time.
**Set Your Home Up To Enable You To Get Some Space**
Create a peaceful, quiet and calm safe haven in your home for when the kids are running riot making loads of noise playing and you just need some space. Even if you end up in your bedroom, make it your Space.
I knew I was an introvert, but I didn't know how much it would impact my parenting. At first I was confused as them too. I love children, when I was in my teenage years, I often volunteered to babysit my little cousins and pinch every chubby little cheek I encounter outside. Now I got my own little human, I felt overwhelmed and become a mean mother if I don't recharge myself well. I hope this helps you fellow introverts out there. As an introvert parent, it becomes more challenging to us, hanging there and hope you find your own getaway that workout for your current situation.
It is important to know the way you are wired to rejuvenate yourself so you can offer the best of yourself to your loved one and everyone around you.
Sources;
https://www.scarymommy.com/introverted-mom/
https://www.quietrev.com/surviving-as-an-introverted-mother/
https://introvertdear.com/news/introverted-mom/
http://mumblingmommy.com/2015/02/introverted-parent.html
https://balancethroughsimplicity.com/five-tips-for-the-introvert-mum/
Jamie C. Martin(2019) Introverted Mom: Your Guide to More Calm, Less Guilt, and Quiet Joy Kindle Edition Retrieved from [amazon kindle](https://www.amazon.com/Introverted-Mom-Guide-Guilt-Quiet-ebook/dp/B07LGJGMNK/ref=as_li_ss_tl?keywords=the+introverted+mom&qid=1558364129&s=gateway&sr=8-1&linkCode=sl1&tag=mymanmon-20&linkId=a86e0f74617f45bf5763ad9469654f4c&language=en_US)
<a href="https://3e245hq8tf0rnr6lt8vbtomtel.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=BANNER1"><img src="https://drive.google.com/uc?id=19m4dpRFjmiQ_Wl9BI8EONePVcP07A8XM" alt="" width="643" height="206" /></a>
<center> </center>
<p><sub><em>This post contain an affiliate links. An affiliate links means I may earn advertising/referral fees if you make a purchase through my link without any extra cost to you. It helps to keep the lights on. Thank you so much for your support!</</em></sub></p>