Dear Diary: I Am Always Having The Feeling Of Guilt Of Taking My Medicine And Eating by cryptopie

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· @cryptopie ·
$50.31
Dear Diary: I Am Always Having The Feeling Of Guilt Of Taking My Medicine And Eating
![P_20171223_090929_BF.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmaiN6XNqUucWUirJER7aJtHDAHGEwucRVah1JbzmXicCU/P_20171223_090929_BF.jpg)

I remember the first times that I have been a dialysis patient when I have a pretty bad dialysis quality. So after the night of dialysis in the morning I already have the "urea breath". It means that my blood didn't get cleaned completely or adequately of the waste materials that should be cleaned off so that I would feel well and not ill. So what happens is that I would feel nauseated in between dialysis days so I will not be able to eat well.

At those times that I get more of the feeling of illness than being well after dialysis simply because I have had a bad medical service. I should have prayed that those years didn't happened because when I get to think of those times I get saddened because of the misery that I have experienced and had gone through especially that skin itching brought about by wrong diet.

Now something has happened it it is similar to that. Although I get a good dialysis today but I am taking a medicine that makes my appetite go to the drain. It somewhat makes me feel ill as well by giving me a bad side-effect for my ability to eat by making me lose my appetite and giving me a bitter taste in the mouth.

It sometimes gives me the feeling of guilt when I eat too because when a dialysis patient eats they actually get loaded with urea and nitrogen all that waste products from the cells of the body. So I may look like I am enjoying eating for some time but the after effects is not good especially when I get waterlogged so easily. All that inconvenient body feelings that will result makes me think if it is worth it to even eat. We sometimes look fine but we are enduring something deep inside us.
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vote details (74)
@sulaisteem ·
Good post
I like @cryptopie
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@hafiz34 ·
When something is deviated from it's normal form, it is near impossible to go back to the original state. Same thing happens to our body when we have some chronic illness. It never goes back to pre-illness state. You are experiencing that. What ever you do , you are not feeling 100% ok. This is really unfortunate!
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@muhammadkamal ·
If not treated properly at the right time, it will be worse. That's what everyone hopes will be healthy.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@diya28 ·
God bless you good health
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@rimon24 ·
thanks for sharing your moment.
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@eliashossain ·
Friends, it is not right, you need to take regular medicines and eat food, so you will be good, good luck for you.
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@ziaur ·
Please take the medicine properly otherwise will not be recovery from the health difficulties thanks @cryptopie
👍  
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vote details (1)
@nirob ·
I know its a tough but if you want to get well, there is no alternative to medicines. Always take care of your health
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@nessyquel ·
you're a really strong person @cryptopie. sending you prayers all the way :)
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@aaawee ·
$0.11
I feel very sad when you tell me about your current state of affairs, let alone you who have problems with your dialysis, and your appetite so decreases.
I hope you can get through it easily.
and you stay always healthy.
@cryptopie
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@team101 ·
You are such a strong person and I am so sorry you have to continually deal with the health problems.  Maybe putting your mind on other things as much as possible will help.  Blessings to you!
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@xtophercruzeu ·
Hey, nice write up, it is very interesting. I am following you, can you follow me @xtophercruzeu thanks
👍  
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vote details (1)
@shla-rafia ·
Which country are you in? Did you tell your doctor about cannabis?
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@tutufaith ·
We know it is not easy love. But we need you to take your drugs so you can get well. Pls just take them, for us pls. We love u so much and we are praying for your quick recovery love.
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@aaaalmira ·
$0.04
hopefully you will be well the problem of dialysis will be handled immediately and your appetite problem will soon be better @crptopie
👍  
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vote details (1)
@mzee ·
I mostly think how was it turn to this condition?? Today I know the answer of bad medical care services which lead you at this point :( 
If you are in US you can sue them in court. I do not know whats laws in your country. 
You can eat fruits, I think they can produce less urea, is not it.
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