![Arnold-new.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmXjGkhMGbDQwYuTrcoBnyqqg5gdvVu3uh6eh7x8KHEc12/Arnold-new.jpg)

During the course of my being a dialysis patient I had seen a lot of patients come and go. Some had only been a patient for a few months and then they pass-away and some you just don't think that they will "go" that fast but you thought wrong and they still pass-away quick as they come in.

I do feel of course sad for such patients because of the potential that they will going to contribute to society and now that they are long dead, the memory of them just remains and soon forgotten as well.

But I am also happy for those who passed away quick especially those who had no plans for transplant because they will not end up like me struggling in life and my way to the bathroom. They will not feel the joint pains, the disability in speech and eating and the way people treat people differently because they look different which is hard to take as it affects my feelings.

So it is really a good thing to die immediately for dialysis patients like the ones who struggle to pay for their treatments and those patients who doesn't get support from their relatives and I do envy such dialysis patients why they pass-away so quick while I myself is left still struggling but is kept alive. I wonder why I am still alive?

Sometimes I feel that life had been so unfair but to realize that life really is unfair makes me want to cry about it. But this life is like a jungle, you have to work in order to survive it and the only way id to move on with life and accept what ever happens along the way and to deal with it. So I am just sucking it up whatever hardship is going against my way and fight until finally I could rest where and when my fate would allow me to rest.