![pray2669711_640.png](https://files.steempeak.com/file/steempeak/cryptopie/cqOvFfo2-pray-2669711_640.png)

It is scheduled for tomorrow morning that we were going to have a thanksgiving viewing for myself and my mother so I must prepare for it though and sleep substantially. I already had slept a lot and I feel that I just got wasted a lot of my time in doing so.

So I guess that I will not take my appetite enhancer because I have to be alert for the viewing. The viewing is called a "viewing" because it is a way for a member like me that wasn't able to go to the church for a variety of reasons like  work or illness and such.

I am just glad that there is a program from my church which I am a member from March 1998 that provides for me a way to attend because I could not possibly physically attend anymore due to my bone condition, weakness, pain, and also my appearance.

I do not want to subject myself also into being rubber-neck by people who will see me like this and stare and point and maybe laughed at so I just chose to not go anymore to the church and requested to be sent a worker regularly that will bring me the recordings of church activities that happened like thanksgiving, the worship service and the prayer meetings.

I still wanted to attend physically and be with my brother and my mother because I missed the years that me and my brother would go by ourselves to go to the local church and the convention center. In the past we would pitch a tent if there is a scheduled big gathering where it would be held for three days. It was fun in those days but now sad because I could not go anymore and jst stuck at home counting days and hoping for a better day that would happen in my life if there will be anything positive left for me to hope for.