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![krnms7.jpg](https://img.esteem.app/krnms7.jpg)
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<center>__Torture!!!__</center>

My ringing ears are just becoming more apparent and I have no clue in what causes it since I do not listen to loud music. The only reason that I know of is maybe the medicines that I am taking because when I move my head left and right my head just spins, I become dizzy and I remember that this thing happened before when I was taking tow tablets of Cinacalcet per day.

I do not know of not so sure if Cinacalcet was the culprit but there are other factors that I am suspecting like my jaw bone or my inner ear. But it seems like the source was in my brain like when you take a large dose of Aspirin then your ears would just "ring."

<center>![mental-health-1420801_640.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmdQCGSZGzrL4g8UaWGBaWdhwPFWECp2A3v8tz85zoZDBs/mental-health-1420801_640.jpg)</center>
<center>__Ringing Ear Is A Mental Torture__</center>

It is hard to endure it especially with my body having an underlying condition already it makes me think to just drop my goals and give up.because obviously it is had to live with this kind of more than annoying health condition already even with a good bill of health or I achieved all my health goals but if I have a ringing ear I would not certainly enjoy my new life.

I still have many things to worry about than this hearing impairment issue but it is not just a ringing ear, it really is another disability that is just one factor that is trying to ruin my life. It is sad that I could never take my own life so I just have to "suck it up" and "be a man", "be brave." I just really wanted to cry but in times like these that nobody can really help me I just have to be strong and pray that others would pray for me so I can manage to endure this kind of torture to my body, my mental faculties.

<center>![girl-638061_640.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmebbwcfLxUiZa5Y8scLb9mpgiRfc3GvFiBuij98rbvDpa/girl-638061_640.jpg)</center>
<center>__I Don't Know What To Do Anymore And Crying Would Not Do Anything Too__</center>

I would call it quits if I would die tomorrow and just be grateful that at least I have met some of the wonderful people in my life, my mother, my brother, my family, my former classmates, of course steem community here and discord. At least I had some happy moments and a thimbleful of it compared to other people but nonetheless I am thankful that I experienced to live here in the face of the earth.

I am just fortunate that I have a very loving and supportive mother although she is not perfect but with conditions like these pinning me down and destroying me I just needed her help and support and presence even though I am getting embarrassed already for being taken cared of my mother with my age and dragging them with my father with this kind of health ailments that have no let-up and is just getting worse. I just wished that I could get into some switch that I can flick to end it all because it is not that easy anymore, it is getting as hard as hell.



<center>![pray-2408038_640.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmaLS5sqiuSuUvXWJUmCQ2yRL3WyZwVMhf8ujcxgMg8k9N/pray-2408038_640.jpg)</center>
<center>__I Am All Thankful Still For All What I Had And Experienced In This World__</center>





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