<center>![cousins1.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmS9YkHn9PPh69iE26bFNvdLjamTvUijRX8bzU7bFHNDBp/cousins1.jpg)</center>
<center>__My Two Brothers Second And Third From The Right And My Cousins__</center>

My mother is already there in my relatives with the mother's side of the family because my Aunt died a few days ago and supposedly would be buried on Tuesday where it is my dialysis day. My mother is supposed to stay there until Tuesday for the burial but it seems that there was a change in plan because she said while she is there that she will come home today and will just come back God-willing on Tuesday.

I think that my mother is just worrying about me not being able to be with her assistance here in my house because of my almost total dependency with their support so I guess that she decided to go home again today spending only a little time with my relatives there.

I guess that my brothers had persuaded her not to stay there because she doesn't have any company from here so they just decided to come home gain. I myself wanted her to stay there for a little bit because I wanted her to be with her sister and my other relatives since she hasn't been with them for a long time while we are growing-up with my siblings due to financial constraints.

<center>![cousins2.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmaDoP2xw34exc6n3bLB36iywGMx8cihvTgDfvVunt9vZf/cousins2.jpg)</center>
<center>__My Five Cousins Here Are the Children Of My Still Live Aunt  Shown Above__</center>

My second brother (third from the right) was only in my knowledge had been with my relatives here three times with the first time when I was still a baby being carried by my mother. Hos second visit was when (I already forget the reason) and his third was only today. But my eldest had a vacation here when my Mother's father (grandfather) had took him to have some vacation when we were younger.

But I myself only had been able to visit there in my deceased Aunt's home because it was my grandfather's wake at that time. There was another instance that I was able to go there again but I also forgot the reason, it was a long time ago. I am glad that I was able to be with them with my other cousins there because I didn't know that it will be my last.

I am just angry that I wasn't able to at least have some vacation there because of relative distance and money to be spent and of course  because of my health issues. That is why I do not know all the names of my cousins there and their now children.

<center>![face.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmWCwhgoMDzLG5YY2U9vWpDskHzSi7ch4toLcMt8SJbcrM/face.png)</center>
<center>__Insert Me Above┗( T﹏T )┛__</center>

Again if only I could turn back time, if only my fate in this world is just like any other normal person. If only I could have been with my relatives with my mother's side of the family then I would not feel the utter sadness that I am experiencing right now and it feels like I missed alot already and I really do and it frustrates me even more knowing that I cannot do what has not been done in the first place.

<center>![P_20190527_101634_p.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmUjPryoe6QcQqkr28WeAjrjXBYAPcLHijJ63ufZZRDoeG/P_20190527_101634_p.jpg)</center>
<center>__I Am Just Contented That We Have The Means Now To Let My Mother Go And Visit My Relatives Unlike In The Old Times__</center>

Thanks to steem too that I was able to give my mother some cash to spend on her way there because of course she has to share some fuel money with my brother since the gasoline prices are high.