The "Almost" by danigirl

life · @danigirl · Jan 20 '17

$25.37

The "Almost"

Hey Steem!
I want to be honest with you. I've been struggling as of late, due to very standard circumstances for a 22 year old recent college grad. Just wanting to share in case these feelings resonate with others. I am someone who needs to externalize my feelings in order to understand them.
<center>![](https://s29.postimg.org/ur1hxigmv/14225416_10210398262490567_8406860053953004593_n.jpg)</center>
Lately I have been having a hard time enjoying the journey, the "almost" if you will. This is because my current projects all involve applications. It feels like I am constantly trying to prove myself and ask for things. This process also takes takes TIME. There is no immediate answer to this most vulnerable question: "Am I good enough?"
<center>![](https://s28.postimg.org/qm5i5u4el/14102491_10210398261490542_2033452199180928293_n.jpg)</center>
I want to put forth these applications with passionate energy and a willingness to see them through. They are like horcruxes, like pieces of my soul dancing naked and exposed out in the world. I need to remember that this is okay. That moments of vulnerability demand loving kindness towards oneself. I wouldn't be striving for these jobs and schools and scholarships if I didn't believe that I could do it. I had the confidence to initiate, now I want to complete. That satisfaction will come and it will be worth all the anxiety.
<center>![](https://s29.postimg.org/65rudu1kn/12961282_10209180228480478_4776480605209521991_o.jpg)</center>
Humans tend to respond best to immediate gratification. By this I mean that we remain more motivated when we see the results of our efforts right away. It is a massive challenge to continuously strive without any reassurance from the universe that we're on the right course. However, I believe that it is good for us to be made to wait. Times of "almost" help cultivate patience, discipline, and release.
<center>![](https://s30.postimg.org/la2xvex6p/12695061_10208562864726770_5510788127643582680_o.jpg)</center>
I know that once I reach any of these goals, my life will change significantly. Many of these changes will be those of the rigorous, time- consuming sort. They will challenge me to reshape days and adjust priorities. While I cannot wait for that (trust me, I'm fiendishly impatient) I am trying to recognize the beauty of my present tense state. A few things I am grateful for...
~ Being able to wake up early and slowly. I love writing before the sun comes up and face planting into mugs of rich coffee.
~ Spending social time with others during the day. I have more energy and I love to be outdoors in the sunlight.
~ Long workouts. I can spend time moving my body vigorously, followed by stretching, yoga, restoration...
These are a few of my favorite things. They are a part of my "almost" and I love them so. Once I begin working, I will be doing so- hopefully in a variety of roles- for the rest of my life.

So I challenge myself to breath and to SAVOR the gifts of this phase.
<center>![](https://s27.postimg.org/xouf82pfn/11223851_10207813442751689_5658975101042854692_n.jpg)</center>

👍 blocktrades, stellabelle, demotruk, the-alien, originate, shenanigator, steemit-life, wang, herzmeister, mata, fyrstikken, bue, alexgr, freiheit50, timbo, danigirl, angel76, craigwilliamz, vlad, bue-witness, reisman, boy, anti-sophist, xer, ashleywilliamz, mini, bitcoiner-61, hall-e324, daniel.pan, bitcoiner-62, bitcoiner-1, healthcare, bunny, bitcoiner-100, smalltalk, bitcoiner1, bitcoiner-63, bitcoiner-21, bitcoiner100, craigslist, bitcoiner61, bitcoiner10, cryptocash, bitcoiner-64, bitcoiner62, imarealboy777, bitcoiner-10, helen.tan, steemspeak, bitcoiner-81, bitcoiner21, bitcoiner11, moon, bitcoiner63, bitcoiner-41, bitcoiner-65, bitcoiner-22, bitcoiner12, bitcoiner22, bitcoiner-11, bitcoiner64, bitcoiner-66, bitcoiner65, mycorhizae, and 15 others

`post_id`	1,800,373
`author`	danigirl
`permlink`	the-almost
`category`	life
`json_metadata`	"{"app": "steemit/0.1", "format": "markdown", "image": ["https://s29.postimg.org/ur1hxigmv/14225416_10210398262490567_8406860053953004593_n.jpg"], "tags": ["life", "mentalhealth", "writing", "growth", "curie"]}"
`created`	2017-01-20 21:24:45
`last_update`	2017-01-20 21:24:45
`depth`	0
`children`	8
`net_rshares`	54,127,215,892,117
`last_payout`	2017-02-20 22:41:51
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	19.130 SBD
`curator_payout_value`	6.244 SBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`promoted`	0.000 SBD
`body_length`	3,110
`author_reputation`	29,663,488,391,777
`root_title`	"The "Almost""
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 SBD
`percent_steem_dollars`	10,000
`author_curate_reward`	""

properties (23)vote details (79)

voter	rshares	pct
blocktrades	50,229,311,779,084	100%
wang	151,273,286,292	53%
boy	2,547,235,697	100%
bue-witness	3,102,068,922	100%
bunny	490,937,678	100%
bue	48,974,341,964	100%
mini	1,363,034,441	100%
moon	173,213,224	100%
healthcare	509,936,587	100%
daniel.pan	805,154,754	100%
alexgr	35,623,706,959	100%
helen.tan	234,058,001	100%
stellabelle	1,309,271,249,373	100%
the-alien	548,768,736,041	100%
herzmeister	105,594,768,060	100%
fyrstikken	54,708,658,484	2%
steemit-life	220,383,870,965	60%
demotruk	638,003,357,691	100%
vlad	3,611,089,850	100%
originate	313,263,071,686	100%
craigslist	345,749,871	100%
imarealboy777	238,816,426	10%
mata	78,241,390,999	86%
craigwilliamz	6,779,506,218	100%
anti-sophist	1,482,425,693	100%
shenanigator	303,656,544,667	100%
ashleywilliamz	1,422,700,380	100%
mycorhizae	55,890,996	100%
bitcoiner1	416,490,049	100%
danigirl	8,050,925,647	100%
freiheit50	23,203,893,915	100%
timbo	13,578,700,627	100%
steemspeak	222,795,617	2%
angel76	7,928,605,335	100%
xer	1,468,775,563	100%
bitcoiner10	322,595,381	100%
bitcoiner11	175,765,091	100%
bitcoiner12	89,745,433	100%
bitcoiner21	189,862,552	100%
bitcoiner13	50,438,478	100%
bitcoiner15	50,431,573	100%
bitcoiner16	50,448,077	100%
bitcoiner22	88,719,377	100%
bitcoiner23	51,184,675	100%
bitcoiner41	52,981,690	100%
bitcoiner100	387,086,980	100%
bitcoiner61	325,446,855	100%
bitcoiner62	266,327,568	100%
bitcoiner63	164,111,347	100%
bitcoiner64	83,953,394	100%
bitcoiner65	58,578,892	100%
bitcoiner66	50,805,120	100%
bitcoiner67	50,518,792	100%
bitcoiner68	50,527,443	100%
bitcoiner-61	1,050,251,865	100%
bitcoiner-100	425,251,068	100%
reisman	2,647,071,609	100%
bitcoiner-41	123,369,869	100%
bitcoiner-62	714,571,041	100%
bitcoiner-63	406,688,035	100%
bitcoiner-64	272,404,753	100%
bitcoiner-21	393,648,997	100%
bitcoiner-22	117,240,060	100%
bitcoiner-81	194,872,432	100%
bitcoiner-1	593,614,301	100%
bitcoiner-65	119,133,106	100%
bitcoiner-42	50,074,385	100%
bitcoiner-10	234,772,718	100%
bitcoiner-11	84,504,217	100%
bitcoiner-82	50,605,972	100%
bitcoiner-66	62,921,577	100%
bitcoiner-23	50,830,579	100%
cryptocash	310,096,266	100%
hall-e324	1,026,901,101	100%
bitcoiner-67	51,805,400	100%
bitcoiner-68	50,514,664	100%
bitcoiner-69	50,707,903	100%
bitcoiner-70	50,557,752	100%
smalltalk	417,185,973	100%

@timbo · Jan 20 '17

You have so much life in you and so much more to share with those around you! I hope you know I think you are wonderful and you have brought a smile to my face today with this post. I not only will follow you now but I hope this returns the smile to your face as you have done the same for me.

Thank you very much,
@Timbo

👍 shadowspub, danigirl

`post_id`	1,800,412
`author`	timbo
`permlink`	re-danigirl-the-almost-20170120t213223267z
`category`	life
`json_metadata`	"{"app": "steemit/0.1", "users": ["timbo"], "tags": ["life"]}"
`created`	2017-01-20 21:32:30
`last_update`	2017-01-20 21:32:30
`depth`	1
`children`	2
`net_rshares`	21,770,123,195
`last_payout`	2017-02-20 22:41:51
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`promoted`	0.000 SBD
`body_length`	322
`author_reputation`	27,754,495,235,856
`root_title`	"The "Almost""
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 SBD
`percent_steem_dollars`	10,000
`author_curate_reward`	""

properties (23)vote details (2)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
shadowspub	0 B		13,719,197,548	100%
danigirl	0 B		8,050,925,647	100%

@danigirl · Jan 21 '17

Your willingness to connect in such an open and gracious way is inspiring. Thank you for making me smile and feel acknowledged and supported. I will return the follow and check out your posts!

properties (22)

`post_id`	1,801,767
`author`	danigirl
`permlink`	re-timbo-re-danigirl-the-almost-20170121t015742222z
`category`	life
`json_metadata`	"{"app": "steemit/0.1", "tags": ["life"]}"
`created`	2017-01-21 01:57:42
`last_update`	2017-01-21 01:57:42
`depth`	2
`children`	1
`net_rshares`	0
`last_payout`	2017-02-20 22:41:51
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`promoted`	0.000 SBD
`body_length`	192
`author_reputation`	29,663,488,391,777
`root_title`	"The "Almost""
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 SBD
`percent_steem_dollars`	10,000

@timbo · Jan 21 '17

Awww, you too are very kind. I need friends in my offline life like what I imagine you to be. Thank you for the reply, it has made me feel like what I am doing here is more than just blogging. Ha, if you are ever in Colorado, USA let me know! I could for sure show you some hikes you would enjoy!  It is an honor to be the 6th person you follow! Thank you for this, and sure, check out my posts if you would like to. I will warn you,  I am not your typical person and I care deeply for all life forms including spiders... don't say I didn't warn you! :P
Have a wonderful rest of your day!

👍 shadowspub

`post_id`	1,801,801
`author`	timbo
`permlink`	re-danigirl-re-timbo-re-danigirl-the-almost-20170121t020211178z
`category`	life
`json_metadata`	"{"app": "steemit/0.1", "tags": ["life"]}"
`created`	2017-01-21 02:02:21
`last_update`	2017-01-21 02:02:21
`depth`	3
`children`	0
`net_rshares`	13,719,617,848
`last_payout`	2017-02-20 22:41:51
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`promoted`	0.000 SBD
`body_length`	588
`author_reputation`	27,754,495,235,856
`root_title`	"The "Almost""
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 SBD
`percent_steem_dollars`	10,000
`author_curate_reward`	""

properties (23)vote details (1)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
shadowspub	0 B		13,719,617,848	100%

@stellabelle · Jan 20 '17

I like the mention about instant gratification. I see this as well in myself.....something to continue working on.

properties (22)

`post_id`	1,800,812
`author`	stellabelle
`permlink`	re-danigirl-the-almost-20170120t224350458z
`category`	life
`json_metadata`	"{"app": "steemit/0.1", "tags": ["life"]}"
`created`	2017-01-20 22:43:51
`last_update`	2017-01-20 22:43:51
`depth`	1
`children`	3
`net_rshares`	0
`last_payout`	2017-02-20 22:41:51
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`promoted`	0.000 SBD
`body_length`	114
`author_reputation`	436,515,832,240,166
`root_title`	"The "Almost""
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 SBD
`percent_steem_dollars`	10,000

@smalltalk · Jan 20 '17

What if large tasks were broken down into smaller bits and you could get just enough "instant gratification" to see you through the next hurdle? 
Won't that strategy be of help?

👍 danigirl

`post_id`	1,800,986
`author`	smalltalk
`permlink`	re-stellabelle-re-danigirl-the-almost-20170120t231243482z
`category`	life
`json_metadata`	"{"app": "steemit/0.1", "tags": ["life"]}"
`created`	2017-01-20 23:12:45
`last_update`	2017-01-20 23:12:45
`depth`	2
`children`	2
`net_rshares`	8,050,925,647
`last_payout`	2017-02-20 22:41:51
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`promoted`	0.000 SBD
`body_length`	177
`author_reputation`	5,453,391,371,646
`root_title`	"The "Almost""
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 SBD
`percent_steem_dollars`	10,000
`author_curate_reward`	""

properties (23)vote details (1)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
danigirl	0 B		8,050,925,647	100%

@stellabelle · Jan 20 '17

that's what i generally do. my real problem is distraction and addiction to novelty/imagination...which i mostly turn into art and projects,

properties (22)

`post_id`	1,800,993
`author`	stellabelle
`permlink`	re-smalltalk-re-stellabelle-re-danigirl-the-almost-20170120t231358302z
`category`	life
`json_metadata`	"{"app": "steemit/0.1", "tags": ["life"]}"
`created`	2017-01-20 23:13:57
`last_update`	2017-01-20 23:13:57
`depth`	3
`children`	1
`net_rshares`	0
`last_payout`	2017-02-20 22:41:51
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`promoted`	0.000 SBD
`body_length`	140
`author_reputation`	436,515,832,240,166
`root_title`	"The "Almost""
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 SBD
`percent_steem_dollars`	10,000

1 reply

@mycorhizae · Jan 21 '17

Thanks for sharing this with us! Remember to have people in your daily waking life you can vocalize these thoughts to as well! Have you ever heard of the [pharamakon](http://faculty.arts.ubc.ca/pmahon/pharmakon.html)? Writing down is a good way to organize, but it's important to EXPRESS as well! So much feeling can be lost through text only communication.

On your note about instant gratification, remember that having little victories in the day is important too! 

Don't give in to worry, you don't have to have everything planned out for things to work out, and even if you did it wouldn't be much fun that way!

Love and aspire to inspire!

Peace.

properties (22)

`post_id`	1,803,063
`author`	mycorhizae
`permlink`	re-danigirl-the-almost-20170121t072023255z
`category`	life
`json_metadata`	"{"app": "steemit/0.1", "links": ["http://faculty.arts.ubc.ca/pmahon/pharmakon.html"], "tags": ["life"]}"
`created`	2017-01-21 07:20:21
`last_update`	2017-01-21 07:20:21
`depth`	1
`children`	0
`net_rshares`	0
`last_payout`	2017-02-20 22:41:51
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`promoted`	0.000 SBD
`body_length`	654
`author_reputation`	790,274,152,641
`root_title`	"The "Almost""
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 SBD
`percent_steem_dollars`	10,000