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<p>Good day, my fellow bloggers on the blockchain! This is the 87th part of my series post about local Filipino jokes which I have translated for people of the English language. Please read and pick the ones you like best from this post series. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.</p>
<p><em>I think nobody has done this kind of post series before. So I took it upon myself to do it even if you think it might not be popular or profitable. I just wanted to be the first to do this kind of thing. It would be up to you to decide, my fellow readers, if I was successful or not.</em></p>
<p>There are still a lot more Filipino local jokes that we need to be translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.</p>
<p><strong>Read and enjoy!</strong></p>
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<h3>The pair of socks</h3>
<p>TEACHER: Johnny! You are wearing the wrong pair of socks. One is white while the other one is black.<br/>
JOHNNY: My mom bought this for me! I don't know why but there's another pair like this at home!</p>
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<h3>Used condom</h3>
<p>Maid cleaning the room of a messy employer. She found a used condom on the bed.</p>
<p>MAID: What's this wet thing on the bed?!? Oh, yuck!<br/>
RICH MAN: Oh, I forgot throw that one in the thrash! What's the matter? Don't you
ever practice safe sex in the provinces?<br/>
MAID: We do! But not that intense that even your foreskin comes off and falls on the bed!</p>
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<h3>The alibi</h3>
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<p>Grandpa was an avid cockfighting fan but on the day of the national cockfighting derby, he had no money for the entrance fee at the Coliseum. He thought of a plan to get in.</p>
<p>GUARD: Only fighting cocks are allowed inside! Where do you think you're going with that hen you are carrying???<br/>
GRANDPA: Oh, this here's hen has a husband fighting cock as one of the contestants! She asked me to bring her inside to give her husband some moral support!</p>
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<h3>The cheap milk</h3>
<p>Dairy farmer selling milk on the streets.</p>
<p>FARMER: Fresh milk for sale! 20 Pesos per bottle!<br/>
BYSTANDER: That's too expensive! Don't you have some milk for 5 Pesos?<br/>
FARMER: Yes, I have!<br/>
BYSTANDER: Great, I'll have one.<br/>
FARMER: You'll have to suck the milk from the teat of my cow!</p>
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<h3>I don't understand what Filipina girls think...</h3>
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<p>If a handsome guy smiles at you, he's friendly!<br/>
But if an ugly guy smiles at you, he's creepy!</p>
<p>If a handsome guy follows you around, he's a secret admirer!<br/>
But if an ugly guy follows you around, he's a stalker!</p>
<p>If a handsome guy is unfaithful, he's a playboy!<br/>
But if an ugly guy is unfaithful, he's a shameless ingrate!</p>
<p>If a handsome guy gets near a girl, he's sweet!<br/>
But if an ugly guy gets near a girl, he's a pervert!</p>
<p>If a handsome guy does a lip-bite, he's hot!<br/>
But if an ugly guy does a lip-bite, he's a maniac!</p>
<p>Where is fairness, where is justice???</p>
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<p><strong>Translated from Source: <a href="http://www.boybanat.com">boybanat.com</a></strong></p>
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<p><strong>Follow me as @darthnava: &quot;Dreaming...I'm always dreaming...&quot;</strong></p>