Comedy Open Mic: Round 28 | Las Vegas by deadmoonwrites

comedyopenmic · @deadmoonwrites · Aug 29 '18

$28.03

Comedy Open Mic: Round 28 | Las Vegas

![sign-2237590_1280.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmZrR4LjeaZ6iMVfZwSP7PQusLVxCqNLfzQyMnAwtABnWm/sign-2237590_1280.jpg)

I'm not an outgoing person. my idea of being a socialite is when the light from the computer screen hits me when I am on Steemit. But the wife and I love going to Las Vegas. City of sin. Playground of the poor, middle class and rich alike.

I gamble little because I always lose. I can't help it, I have no finesse or patience. Take BlackJack for example, I keep saying "Hit me, Hit me" until I bust. Every damn time. Man, It's hard to play BlackJack when your masochistic.
And the slot machines, I'm hooked on the lights, sounds and animations. Again I always lose. quarter after quarter I pull the handle and get nothing. Finally, FINALLY a random chance. I stopped in front of a slot machine and then suddenly the dang thing goes wild, Lights, bell, whistles the whole hoopla. And the coins poured out like a Niagara Falls! - but the lady playing the machines was fuming at me.

There's always the people who lose all their money and go around asking for quarters. But most people are onto their game so these beggars come up with stories. You know like "A thief stole my wallet or my mother needs money for an operation." No creativity in these bums. This one time an attractive woman tried to cozy while I waited for a concert to begin. She tried to play on my male ego. She says " Hey there, can I ask you a question, are you in the band? cause you look like it."

I told her no but she could still buy me a drink while I ignore her. Who knows, maybe she was telling the truth, after all I used to be in a cover band and we weren't half bad. I mean we could cover anything, well except out bar tab.

Yeah, Las Vegas sure has some exciting things to do. You can shoot massive guns, drive top of the line cars and sky dive in the desert. But I got to be careful what I do, my health ain't so good and besides they made cuts to my health insurance policy, the only coverage I get now is by six feet of dirt.

I wanted my final night in Vegas to be great. A booze filled party. That's hard to pull off on a tight budget. So I skimp on dinner. I went to the cheapest restaurant I could find, not even the cooks wanted to eat there, but I did anyway and ended up spending my last night in Vegas in the bathroom-couldn't get off the toilet.

But who want to hear about that, huh? that's disgusting. So while I sat there I came up with a better story. If someone asks, I'll say "The details are hazy you know on account of all the drinking but I recall I ate dinner in an exclusive out-of-the -way bistro. After that" I pause for dramatic effect. "It was craps all night long. I tell you I couldn't stop. Even pulled off a Royal Flush before calling it a night.

SO I guess This is where I'm supposed to nominate two other for this huh? ok here goes how about @brightstar and @darkjade. How I followed the rules all right. I'm new to this after all. Next time I will write more I promise. Let me know if I screwed up will ya? thanks

Thanks to all the judges and everyone else who takes the metaphoric stage.

👍 hendrikdegrote, curie, vact, comedyopenmic, wackou, tombstone, kevinwong, oddbot, dhimmel, anwenbaumeister, liberosist, tuck-fheman, d-pend, modernzorker, amirtheawesome1, holybranches, acolucky, jefpatat, drmake, profanereviews, belemo, locikll, call-me-howie, meerkat, arcange, benleemusic, ratticus, anikekirsten, idikuci, aboutyourbiz, zhangyong, stahlberg, bitfiend, didic, neneandy, nwjordan, the-eliot, lola-carola, victorcovrig, synthtology, adamzi, peaceandwar, moksamol, neumannsalva, mrday, gmedley, romanleopold, dashfit, deadmoonwrites, lk666, nitego, massivevibration, hansmast, sohailahmed, raymondspeaks, giddyupngo, predict-crypto, indy8phish, fanstaf, iansart, sharanaithal, coloringiship, pacokam8, vadimlasca, and 725 others

`post_id`	61,073,355
`author`	deadmoonwrites
`permlink`	comedy-open-mic-round-28-or-las-vegas
`category`	comedyopenmic
`json_metadata`	{"tags":["comedyopenmic","writing","life","freewrite","blog"],"users":["brightstar","darkjade"],"format":"markdown","app":"steemit\/0.1","image":["https:\/\/cdn.steemitimages.com\/DQmZrR4LjeaZ6iMVfZwSP7PQusLVxCqNLfzQyMnAwtABnWm\/sign-2237590_1280.jpg"]}
`created`	2018-08-29 21:34:18
`last_update`	2018-08-29 21:34:18
`depth`	0
`children`	22
`net_rshares`	18,829,387,556,933
`last_payout`	2018-09-05 21:34:18
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	21.128 SBD
`curator_payout_value`	6.906 SBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`promoted`	0.000 SBD
`body_length`	3,152
`author_reputation`	827,518,626,017
`root_title`	"Comedy Open Mic: Round 28 \| Las Vegas"
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 SBD
`percent_steem_dollars`	10,000
`author_curate_reward`	""

properties (23)vote details (789)

voter	rshares	pct
wackou	399,844,961,289	9.3%
tombstone	332,947,450,847	1.4%
tuck-fheman	49,824,161,169	15.5%
lola-carola	4,170,948,013	15.5%
kevinwong	242,929,014,418	3.5%
anwenbaumeister	146,150,879,437	31%
mrwang	96,645,780	1.75%
raymondspeaks	2,407,667,870	15.5%
arcange	9,735,020,601	1%
liberosist	92,890,601,021	31%
arconite	1,209,732,439	1.75%
raphaelle	963,382,560	1%
joshglen	452,369,586	31%
anarcist69	150,711,326	3.1%
lk666	2,795,454,991	15.5%
meerkat	9,907,631,808	31%
curie	1,226,505,936,274	31%
modernzorker	23,891,470,002	50%
landria	349,937,899	15.5%
hendrikdegrote	14,365,242,631,035	31%
vact	574,135,079,586	31%
roguewriter	1,059,375,799	15.5%
dashfit	2,905,715,556	15.5%
sethroot	1,411,411,100	3.1%
j3dy	217,696,220	0.93%
gangstayid	1,061,864,973	15.5%
responsive	402,187,810	31%
pes7md	329,316,622	15.5%
aware007	611,714,217	21.7%
lenin-mccarthy	435,180,174	15.5%
resteemer	903,800,687	12.4%
jgpro	124,985,341	15.5%
heriafriadiaka	400,905,500	31%
gmedley	2,994,212,142	15.5%
dyancuex	235,892,987	15.5%
pacokam8	1,958,443,117	12.4%
toniesteem	386,884,962	15.5%
ljpaez	274,508,532	15.5%
kkbaardsen	235,041,573	31%
michelios	1,349,643,088	4.65%
dhimmel	193,888,392,268	24.8%
zhangyong	5,246,171,106	0.35%
cryptophunk	85,920,644	15.5%
awesomianist	432,254,724	1.55%
moksamol	3,391,075,700	15.5%
getrichordie	1,078,783,517	15.5%
thatsweeneyguy	716,852,597	15.5%
jdc	188,788,314	3.1%
jacalf	218,162,666	31%
foways	708,542,527	15.5%
the-eliot	4,248,849,143	15.5%
lotfiuser	182,606,467	15.5%
iansart	2,113,274,563	15.5%
dbzfan4awhile	1,355,758,959	15.5%
rishadhaque	72,933,928	15.5%
galberto	83,086,747	1.24%
lrsm13	279,501,119	9.3%
tantawi	645,623,179	31%
carolynseymour	191,066,839	15.5%
locikll	12,272,168,789	62%
aboutyourbiz	5,374,964,805	31%
fanstaf	2,116,514,021	26.35%
howtostartablog	886,713,719	3.1%
cobloc	332,981,051	15.5%
ghostgtr	142,470,981	0.62%
orcheva	1,301,820,862	15.5%
guchtere	1,131,994,420	15.5%
rival	443,178,333	1%
zacherybinx	259,000,411	31%
dysc0rd	125,031,623	31%
d-pend	45,959,191,493	1%
makrotheblack	918,426,270	15.5%
ckcryptoinvest	126,673,352	15.5%
coloringiship	1,973,286,007	6.2%
nolasco	224,434,145	1.55%
gambit.coin	422,927,086	31%
nitego	2,759,620,730	9.3%
sweetdreams	285,071,838	15.5%
ratticus	7,987,036,927	15.5%
neumannsalva	3,115,989,015	15.5%
lemi	98,125,853	15.5%
phogyan	951,156,832	15.5%
mhel	149,404,796	3.1%
joe.nobel	788,587,845	3.1%
misterakpan	228,578,059	1.55%
kofspades	228,261,271	15.5%
g0nr0gue	1,237,700,695	15.5%
alexandrafv	73,410,376	15.5%
crypto-whiz	106,280,980	15.5%
sanderdieryck	320,362,951	15.5%
muliadi	379,567,476	15.5%
karyah1001	74,965,505	31%
tomcruse	94,410,588	15.5%
life.goals	133,910,997	31%
tradeownsystems	137,337,839	31%
chunnorris	185,965,104	15.5%
sublimenonsense	232,406,642	15.5%
mustika	88,138,150	15.5%
dxdei	133,867,740	31%
shippou95	224,820,933	15.5%
viralfever	70,186,860	15.5%
gabox	612,694,051	1.55%
bleyker	133,938,786	31%
flight-87	70,858,213	15.5%
indy8phish	2,174,879,186	15.5%
runningman	255,505,368	15.5%
honeysara	1,126,553,873	7.75%
vadimlasca	1,908,331,216	31%
niallon11	1,590,857,744	2%
oddbot	211,821,374,451	100%
massivevibration	2,646,388,404	5%
nurhayati	245,416,231	1.75%
jefpatat	17,127,658,077	31%
olayemzeecool	88,184,304	15.5%
safril21	85,260,357	15.5%
cooknbake	734,690,433	6.2%
anna-mi	715,264,067	15.5%
evolutionnow	231,295,699	15.5%
clweeks	1,757,889,270	18.6%
marysent	171,943,913	3.1%
click3rs	769,899,866	15.5%
maxruebensal	225,183,136	15.5%
smafey	239,404,858	15.5%
paddygsound	404,823,955	15.5%
marialefleitas	446,421,180	15.5%
damzxyno	585,893,788	9.3%
hillaryaa	363,504,420	31%
ckbahdon	110,516,846	15.5%
derekvonzarovich	366,128,148	15.5%
snowstorm231	91,216,185	23.25%
collennes	66,929,395	15.5%
afrikablr	240,749,029	10%
gotgame	1,570,736,873	15.5%
preetisingh1993	122,341,742	15.5%
birgitt	984,321,981	31%
kike313	69,965,885	15.5%
poodai	1,331,648,650	15.5%
imamalkimas	484,399,284	31%
thuraaunghtet	126,761,086	15.5%
bobtucks	67,049,486	15.5%
helyorsini	83,267,171	15.5%
adahmiracle	94,894,594	100%
happychild	563,864,333	15.5%
kranich	122,364,595	6.2%
smartlip	88,296,792	15.5%
peaceandwar	3,580,811,011	15.5%
enzor	941,168,883	31%
rmz	152,238,659	15.5%
silasvogt	65,614,094	15.5%
jose27117	105,776,575	9.3%
anonymous13	180,497,747	31%
joendegz	456,279,981	15.5%
hrovat66	64,484,092	15.5%
jesusj1	140,431,379	15.5%
isaganicabrales	124,698,191	15.5%
digitalpnut	475,192,874	15.5%
zenc	88,055,245	15.5%
kimchi-king	414,992,590	15.5%
zulfan88	200,910,130	31%
f20170200	94,452,035	15.5%
hasim5164	70,258,631	15.5%
grafflinz	94,686,579	15.5%
acolucky	20,693,326,483	33%
timbicktwo	88,252,253	15.5%
odebgaming	133,728,919	31%
hectgranate	178,142,823	6.2%
edmundang	97,291,793	6.2%
mdsaifultop	94,486,020	15.5%
wandersells	232,385,721	15.5%
bluntsmasha	151,386,976	1.55%
masud222	99,951,124	15.5%
pipo092281	77,227,555	15.5%
kerry234	369,570,878	31%
parag	69,963,578	15.5%
maidisangkot	179,216,860	31%
kimaben	168,063,084	7.75%
giavellottista	94,105,078	15.5%
janine-ariane	461,821,897	5%
engineeringfeed	70,223,739	15.5%
delph-in-holland	326,953,830	15.5%
spectrums	210,590,443	31%
eduardonarvaez	94,116,866	15.5%
drmake	16,640,106,095	15.5%
abrahman5	88,422,302	15.5%
eleonardo	121,961,987	3.1%
zerin.tahmid	94,311,596	15.5%
zohaib715	109,175,204	15.5%
fidel66	140,082,341	31%
klizo	114,236,645	15.5%
murad06	112,320,809	15.5%
naideth	73,564,057	6.2%
dpalash124	69,963,964	15.5%
aehiguese	100,924,706	31%
studytext	85,163,490	15.5%
saharia	94,258,752	15.5%
caesar2341	70,269,532	15.5%
buti95	79,045,563	15.5%
idikuci	5,519,471,228	25.33%
chullbull	79,396,740	15.5%
enjoyy	174,937,495	15.5%
jaeydallah	66,879,994	31%
hasan086	168,299,693	15.5%
ilovekrys	72,957,625	15.5%
thescubageek	1,733,238,733	15.5%
sohailahmed	2,427,652,930	15.5%
crescendoofpeace	534,961,226	7.75%
heibert210	70,068,196	15.5%
tito36	67,474,048	31%
tomatom	316,602,506	15.5%
steemerturk	127,304,532	7.75%
akumar	388,504,655	15.5%
odesanya	106,409,281	15.5%
bitfiend	4,969,321,863	25.33%
anikekirsten	6,367,326,197	31%
leilafrangie	94,139,955	15.5%
holybranches	20,855,801,339	100%
barut	134,196,248	15.5%
evernew	170,460,152	15.5%
paragon99	150,308,537	15.5%
lucksacks.com	110,127,615	15.5%
goalgetter	67,111,784	15.5%
gordon92	156,309,814	1.75%
rasamuel	656,144,008	15.5%
stahlberg	5,047,139,350	15.5%
gaozben	66,813,495	15.5%
gabrielatravels	483,394,744	7.75%
thedrewshow	202,465,157	31%
cordeta	529,843,948	15.5%
cerventus	226,656,202	15.5%
lukecreed	134,505,342	15.5%
zlatkamrs	94,705,806	15.5%
mangoish	136,220,979	10%
creatrixity	355,536,698	15.5%
ocn	82,070,227	15.5%
speaklife	399,305,507	31%
bobsthinking	321,130,376	15.5%
yourmercury	168,008,442	31%
mkmk	153,461,173	15.5%
sneikder	183,085,918	31%
goddywise4-eu	134,063,050	31%
laritheghost	982,820,281	15.5%
layanmarissa	69,915,860	15.5%
gibber	93,206,751	3.1%
irisworld	101,679,496	15.5%
chemistry0	136,949,980	31%
bimijay	189,344,206	31%
anarchojeweler	205,753,159	7.75%
amf6	94,523,579	15.5%
dolphinscute	138,327,739	15.5%
christianyocte	204,636,723	3.1%
zorto	210,610,551	15.5%
belemo	12,278,384,463	25.33%
leslierevales	140,215,503	15.5%
gky	94,190,371	15.5%
m1alsan	568,835,794	15.5%
patriamreminisci	91,067,121	15.5%
mrxplicit	389,045,251	31%
fidelpoet	73,139,719	31%
kekegist	272,866,071	31%
meansunlare	70,278,466	31%
adamzi	3,726,710,414	15.5%
cryptospreads	94,107,975	15.5%
emmemm	97,870,142	31%
jibril14	626,087,572	31%
ssierra	94,566,176	15.5%
neneandy	4,461,654,541	31%
iamfo	357,180,693	15.5%
strings	251,914,681	15.5%
giddyupngo	2,351,304,310	15.5%
pboss123	115,983,626	15.5%
cheesom	92,609,560	15.5%
mrday	3,087,825,658	15.5%
aaronteng	232,706,104	15.5%
debbietiyan	690,623,977	15.5%
emirfirlar	389,694,943	15.5%
yucee	111,573,106	15.5%
will12	82,065,792	15.5%
mininthecity	1,291,584,582	24.8%
deril	152,763,074	31%
babaj	89,936,953	31%
didic	4,523,016,082	15.5%
davt014	163,481,570	15.5%
ilhuna	96,558,149	3.1%
kamilala125	79,655,330	31%
saifannur-mzy	94,168,992	15.5%
operahoser	437,327,005	1.24%
yuniraziati	183,244,966	31%
wdoutjah	1,274,005,515	15.5%
asonintrigue	335,384,089	15.5%
raquelita	119,427,782	15.5%
jpmkikoy	289,471,191	15.5%
caitycat	490,079,295	15.5%
gio6	203,716,153	15.5%
used-lessboy	70,219,683	15.5%
nwjordan	4,354,745,106	31%
maanabdullah	162,994,616	15.5%
loydjayme25	211,315,791	15.5%
green77	97,329,925	12.4%
binarycounter	136,687,966	31%
ameliabartlett	1,077,625,587	4.65%
sylinda	70,238,083	15.5%
haggislove	94,713,568	15.5%
mindscapephotos	728,690,165	10.85%
juandvg	196,241,597	31%
iamwhatiamnot	107,738,819	6.2%
lokiamfire	84,991,209	15.5%
tailslide	70,274,018	15.5%
christinegegare	119,295,442	15.5%
beladro	564,068,206	15.5%
ellis.marell	514,344,462	15.5%
lovetouch	94,662,807	15.5%
antigenx	201,136,045	12.4%
benleemusic	9,200,578,850	3.1%
rulilesmana	76,230,496	15.5%
hoobeehey	114,869,599	31%
raoul.poenar	339,815,052	7.75%
fullabeans	70,104,489	15.5%
new.diak	82,386,658	15.5%
edinsoo	70,176,225	15.5%
viajeradelrio	67,182,014	15.5%
medical-hall	151,535,392	31%
eightbitfiction	70,029,653	15.5%
elfranz	339,452,950	15.5%
metalhero	94,101,280	15.5%
kul0tzzz	152,263,181	31%
basir92	76,000,806	15.5%
rheyss08	76,201,409	15.5%
saystraight	94,642,401	15.5%
julianalpanta	81,979,867	15.5%
sampath94	70,194,895	15.5%
chimtivers96	1,464,906,119	31%
jerscoguth	189,257,877	31%
leomarylm	190,204,775	15.5%
bohemian.machine	78,897,324	15.5%
amirdesaingrafis	544,066,056	15.5%
wrpx	213,679,778	15.5%
fai.zul	85,122,837	15.5%
dzued	118,509,961	15.5%
martinasari	76,373,539	15.5%
shawnycx	133,746,135	31%
marielitux	75,996,752	15.5%
ange.nkuru	1,503,100,886	61%
polycarpedet	91,235,314	15.5%
steempeninsula	63,685,871	15.5%
joelagbo	1,073,222,687	15.5%
robotsteemit	94,116,379	15.5%
idkpdx	930,008,423	15.5%
atjehsteemit	226,882,880	15.5%
vlogger56	67,077,384	15.5%
morbyjohn	177,300,413	7%
forgottendreams	73,151,964	15.5%
steemdragon	70,042,853	15.5%
pojgaerlan	137,012,939	31%
kennitgabriel	85,260,888	15.5%
lifediaries2nd	97,505,861	15.5%
nickiechua	85,167,415	15.5%
chukuibijenny	67,016,173	15.5%
upyinnyarthutha	66,525,052	15.5%
kookyan	473,967,283	15.5%
tranghuyen	95,798,419	15.5%
zombieslayer	70,026,680	15.5%
the-doubled	161,814,085	31%
ninjarobo	94,341,817	15.5%
akaikeru	94,380,198	15.5%
stuckinacup	94,393,533	15.5%
beni96	76,046,194	15.5%
yarinergonzalez	115,371,465	26.35%
sunshinebear	270,463,547	15.5%
phaazer1	479,338,487	15.5%
zeshanjaved	64,055,883	15.5%
alexa.creates	282,866,351	15.5%
abreu	94,502,206	21.7%
maribelanzola	70,128,454	15.5%
bil.prag	245,100,456	1.55%
galione	236,349,936	15.5%
nebuladream	305,554,420	6.2%
toyosiartdiy	73,130,109	15.5%
theunlimited	61,171,664	10%
mirandaiig	76,235,595	15.5%
kutrulaju	144,964,078	15.5%
har5h	94,322,133	15.5%
josegalanton	147,094,096	15.5%
chillingotter	547,858,416	15.5%
donjyde	70,066,285	15.5%
pwner	119,026,127	31%
nonsqtr	156,439,448	15.5%
rjrudillas14	133,903,086	31%
morph3us	72,853,697	15.5%
glorimar	65,889,367	15.5%
virgo27	157,644,639	15.5%
crispycoinboys	126,066,995	1.55%
gwapoaller	94,127,472	15.5%
mujiarreza	70,248,004	15.5%
nyakrahmat	68,410,546	15.5%
mohamedsabry	67,322,501	15.5%
laurentiu.negrea	397,610,371	15.5%
maryjohnson	69,862,738	15.5%
omairqazi	70,830,489	15.5%
garnan1111	94,319,432	15.5%
mylittlestar	73,299,606	15.5%
bdshakib	91,481,831	15.5%
daszod	151,927,820	31%
devangbuch	72,885,175	15.5%
harris2017	91,553,233	15.5%
bcfriday	151,848,853	31%
arc.angel	98,388,514	15.5%
selfedmade	94,274,098	15.5%
chrisjayl	105,719,739	15.5%
neilrichmond	69,961,247	15.5%
wisata	177,025,021	31%
busytime	94,309,091	15.5%
haikalisifa	89,317,426	15.5%
arrahman90	94,765,971	15.5%
count-antonio	91,340,843	15.5%
victorcovrig	4,134,577,731	50%
hulya.rtk.krsn	94,304,553	15.5%
chachikho123	68,165,806	15.5%
steemaniax	76,264,782	15.5%
barutundefteri	85,114,086	15.5%
ikeror	199,736,185	27.9%
askyflyhigh	85,509,224	15.5%
greatwarrior79	76,346,077	15.5%
agrestic	121,198,556	15.5%
bavi	612,388,342	15.5%
rextylerblunt	66,795,057	15.5%
lifesteem	67,177,813	15.5%
fibrefox	66,531,583	15.5%
mrjokar	72,910,752	15.5%
flawlessal	76,189,111	15.5%
charlotteroze	109,972,569	23.25%
bravofer	76,187,880	15.5%
dazzy	72,890,058	15.5%
egomez	69,982,533	15.5%
ahmad097	69,871,724	15.5%
loliboofae	63,990,688	10.23%
thethor1122	387,700,323	6.2%
hendragunawan	66,776,761	15.5%
mbahtutorial	85,281,785	15.5%
miralva	115,531,839	26.35%
technotroll	324,777,308	15.5%
beshooo	70,113,966	15.5%
budika	96,102,319	15.5%
beturrio	488,776,899	100%
riandifc	69,887,910	15.5%
farabi	94,579,724	15.5%
break-out-trader	114,841,043	21.7%
kendallron	561,091,885	31%
kevinwalton	73,056,355	15.5%
wealth4good	118,320,074	1.55%
kaestel	66,870,154	15.5%
travelerjoe	79,394,159	15.5%
profanereviews	15,473,270,445	100%
alltechevent	75,242,461	15.5%
mohazjadoon	67,653,488	15.5%
rizkiadi	72,974,516	15.5%
amirtheawesome1	23,743,920,768	100%
kejora05	66,983,473	15.5%
dynet	91,099,934	15.5%
trumpman2	253,348,847	3.79%
sigmund	155,284,803	15.5%
jeef-zone	116,194,664	15.5%
comedyopenmic	447,244,470,394	25.33%
apteacher	698,345,787	6.2%
opluke	76,068,770	15.5%
realredimi2	94,310,604	15.5%
insaallah99	75,954,136	15.5%
paulove	94,642,041	15.5%
lianbloog	69,883,537	15.5%
wowaura	91,081,331	15.5%
dinaislamdina	91,089,661	15.5%
tasjun	256,930,830	31%
muhammad.iqbal	70,003,875	15.5%
tafgongthe1st	73,038,755	15.5%
kaplat	82,312,691	15.5%
edyscout81	67,043,366	15.5%
leeyen23	127,579,080	15.5%
diabonua	609,536,052	15.5%
americanoacehno	62,553,983	15.5%
ilmondoditea	73,006,936	15.5%
justasperm	529,364,192	15.5%
jembee	390,306,915	15.5%
etaletai	199,485,450	15.5%
elisea	122,360,510	15.5%
rosenderevies	76,200,383	15.5%
smer	85,848,738	15.5%
egheprincez	82,194,517	15.5%
samcofy	73,255,877	15.5%
nickeychan	91,142,206	15.5%
dubbio	88,188,768	15.5%
qberryfarms	755,435,377	15.5%
lulita24	94,605,007	15.5%
jickirti	94,476,601	15.5%
blackelephant	74,816,347	15.5%
jazzyjeff	100,569,017	23.25%
mannylumanao	109,028,741	15.5%
bluedragon1974	100,527,141	23.25%
jorx	94,653,797	15.5%
shookriya	493,063,580	6.2%
winkandwoo	94,348,047	15.5%
abeatc	82,074,893	15.5%
riyadhie	66,337,591	15.5%
vigna	527,629,010	1.55%
onethousandpics	434,076,378	15.5%
awesome-p	91,081,331	15.5%
marcuz	595,699,757	15.5%
geekmind	70,016,952	15.5%
akram7	70,138,044	15.5%
vinothkanna	94,441,462	15.5%
yinyang4ever	91,296,182	15.5%
toby-l	185,624,849	31%
blessedsteemer	595,861,372	15.5%
gnaimul	70,014,697	15.5%
kyanzieuno	203,768,144	15.5%
gpwebers	82,258,577	15.5%
romanleopold	2,946,218,011	15.5%
jakecrypto	85,949,926	15.5%
idafc	82,200,366	31%
genesis171	69,857,265	15.5%
niouton	1,695,387,213	6.2%
chiqui03	64,876,228	15.5%
soundworks	551,632,009	24%
zephyr119	67,002,152	15.5%
devitech	71,188,352	15.5%
ghosty5	76,062,404	15.5%
supernews	69,875,328	15.5%
ahsanabdullah	66,974,707	15.5%
rfburton	94,709,517	15.5%
mittalamit284	73,155,005	15.5%
tanzil2020	63,807,718	15.5%
byash	188,320,639	31%
disruptivas	550,660,168	14.71%
derson	82,311,842	15.5%
steemitlancer	106,398,147	24.8%
madonna2018	73,030,755	15.5%
steemitarcher	72,957,991	15.5%
decepticons	69,871,724	15.5%
firman2908	70,237,861	15.5%
marzuki-r	88,186,058	15.5%
atheology	395,303,036	15.5%
vellotinna	94,217,151	15.5%
myoha7	70,104,924	15.5%
chrstnv	833,564,448	31%
ihal0001	76,301,272	15.5%
theminnowhelper	94,290,143	15.5%
elpriist	79,276,227	15.5%
bathijp	94,223,687	15.5%
mayib	188,070,458	15.5%
liquidpoopcorn	94,675,246	15.5%
jumpup	91,184,213	15.5%
mojacko	150,914,686	15.5%
zorang	94,501,777	15.5%
sagor94	94,357,676	15.5%
acasas	94,421,627	15.5%
eroticabian	436,816,170	6.2%
leonosso	94,308,473	15.5%
krathos	188,201,538	31%
sthephany	188,699,870	31%
marcozina	94,368,073	15.5%
femseen	94,517,538	15.5%
tysir	79,241,739	15.5%
horribleorbit	139,815,793	23.25%
richardgreen	189,870,621	15.5%
carpet.duck	121,690,513	15.5%
socialmisfit	72,749,066	7.75%
engmi	189,436,223	15.5%
techupdate	104,080,331	15.5%
mirzantorres	188,476,718	31%
aishpandey	88,352,052	15.5%
mindbuilder-sc	70,218,681	15.5%
jpgalih	75,924,426	15.5%
galihtruff	70,064,439	15.5%
duocover	94,208,432	15.5%
heros	73,248,584	10%
babalsilau	94,676,553	15.5%
siraizel	73,194,354	15.5%
learnelectronics	960,273,219	15.5%
mzh.hamim	94,385,803	15.5%
juanguillen	70,037,965	15.5%
dexvid	82,443,082	15.5%
cringytv	94,388,917	15.5%
mahmudulhassan	794,384,682	15.5%
vicmic	70,140,166	15.5%
mariabutto	94,329,451	15.5%
boyaceh	85,497,485	15.5%
angelzam	188,335,670	31%
angelica7	91,317,161	9.3%
femidada	66,828,060	15.5%
payinstant	70,591,834	15.5%
reungkhoem	83,911,490	15.5%
emmalg87	70,230,223	15.5%
mvoalevine	69,856,593	15.5%
patapa	188,368,221	31%
veteransoffgrid	69,948,477	15.5%
ilovecryptopl	1,746,332,206	15.5%
vmkoko	73,191,845	15.5%
derg	188,315,836	31%
signup-newpeople	66,896,039	15.5%
ninihorlah	70,225,177	15.5%
juanmolina	284,147,794	31%
lagrangemit	188,260,215	31%
riemman-stielmit	188,246,263	31%
juanhobos	207,801,706	15.5%
steinz	111,673,027	15.5%
kayegrasya	155,228,095	15.5%
libe	94,126,964	15.5%
ziaaa	94,118,327	15.5%
lexcreativz	94,117,375	15.5%
earnstech	78,957,702	15.5%
vtechifie	94,379,675	15.5%
nikola.kalabic	186,060,749	31%
kind-sir	64,947,508	2%
melor9	100,665,036	15.5%
kimlunk	104,319,811	15.5%
chinwengozi	70,169,082	15.5%
bitson	195,849,220	15.5%
andi9999	67,054,431	15.5%
call-me-howie	11,853,174,981	15.5%
sergiotorres	189,414,917	31%
tropicalgrey	188,565,636	31%
badman-crypto	69,907,011	15.5%
marivic10	69,850,835	15.5%
flipandflop	79,672,999	15.5%
cryptoisfun	200,075,529	15.5%
seventhsun	108,300,906	15.5%
sharanaithal	2,005,438,461	100%
hansmast	2,612,593,496	15.5%
momimalhi	85,523,496	15.5%
cynicalcake	336,550,870	15.5%
david9122	69,929,749	15.5%
rockinggameworld	89,754,497	15.5%
eugenia2914	69,836,511	15.5%
deividluchi	110,748,312	15.5%
ulockblock	490,050,246	15.5%
alisalof	69,876,409	15.5%
wstanley226	65,718,227	50%
betoviiil	94,220,008	15.5%
nicole24	69,958,948	15.5%
jireneye	188,640,066	31%
maikolp	189,345,372	31%
carlosvls	189,306,650	31%
amelisfer	188,443,084	31%
friskykitty	70,015,829	15.5%
masaitv	377,100,917	6.2%
tjessie	134,046,494	31%
junaidpasha	94,318,370	15.5%
gatis-photo	109,657,615	2%
olusegun	91,216,185	15.5%
minuetoacademy	101,951,340	9.3%
samsonite18654	69,826,390	15.5%
carolinafer	66,804,553	15.5%
karibeweb	94,673,472	15.5%
sbi7	1,130,031,988	1%
time.toeat	78,934,163	15.5%
ipally	94,645,084	15.5%
elius2289	82,404,703	15.5%
sciencebox	188,224,644	31%
scienceboard	189,285,654	31%
jasb	185,740,856	31%
radioboots	94,642,827	15.5%
juanchop	189,285,654	31%
bradondamyx12345	75,977,904	15.5%
penyuteverest	76,008,562	15.5%
dayosoyinka	70,215,550	15.5%
sayeedrock	85,397,543	15.5%
cryptobl4ck	94,637,348	15.5%
gio.vanne	66,852,515	15.5%
withbristy	91,287,412	15.5%
walletexpert	133,033,564	15.5%
boygaruda15	94,205,972	15.5%
aguirod	94,586,495	15.5%
kenlow	94,583,998	15.5%
thedoubleace123	306,113,382	100%
deniree-celis	85,186,029	18.6%
clement.poiret	1,900,158,794	31%
skyphotographer	75,952,859	15.5%
ak477	67,051,764	15.5%
thefauceteer	155,494,911	31%
venustory	66,900,120	15.5%
haogee	1,255,928,427	15.5%
vzlauniversity	189,162,351	31%
karlab	189,163,383	31%
masterkey1	189,163,383	31%
michaelto	188,196,777	31%
dekpah	73,292,736	15.5%
dong-a	72,849,226	15.5%
venusisme	133,821,907	31%
academia-steemit	65,708,529	31%
naayren	73,059,756	15.5%
shepherd-stories	148,064,937	15.5%
sshowoff	81,643,821	15.5%
deadmoonwrites	2,845,316,417	100%
t1050108	69,900,898	15.5%
abraham10	233,770,442	82%
abdelkrim2015	135,097,962	15.5%
torrey.blog	298,474,709	31%
juanl11	72,923,214	15.5%
kiikoh	284,747,104	31%
mrunderstood	574,069,175	15.5%
justintan	94,509,914	15.5%
saridezraa	94,509,914	15.5%
adamllokman	137,191,811	31%
samaz0r	69,978,214	15.5%
bidbots	418,782,099	15.5%
synthtology	3,891,309,755	15.5%
dikkie	428,558,546	15.5%
zygi	85,487,846	15.5%
idiongo	66,904,853	15.5%
attorneyatlawl	91,459,057	15.5%
whitestallion	66,778,807	15.5%
changevictory	188,202,560	31%
matrixbinary	189,012,196	31%
fclosamigos	189,012,196	31%
plumesteemit	188,224,644	31%
brandsteemit	189,012,196	31%
parchazar	189,277,789	31%
trickgame	189,012,196	31%
alim264	94,455,963	15.5%
mimi87	62,654,368	15.5%
sugarpie	70,117,054	15.5%
daniel-jayu	94,505,594	15.5%
spielekiste	185,589,565	31%
adigun12	67,130,510	15.5%
praditya	95,149,452	9.3%
exsanguinator	94,641,179	15.5%
alamgir140491	110,300,861	15.5%
yashshah991	51,626,999	50%
tiagoferezin	189,176,701	31%
raghao	384,357,287	15.5%
rajesh1000	73,319,388	15.5%
rhethypo	205,579,047	15.5%
emmyluluameh	91,310,976	15.5%
orbe	85,295,647	15.5%
alexhuang	94,564,892	15.5%
paymanmahabad	94,585,547	15.5%
heatherhemp	94,492,148	15.5%
sisterma	94,472,841	15.5%
tarantula95	94,158,918	15.5%
feederr	94,711,406	15.5%
jjsegovia	188,852,628	31%
truelovemom	188,186,167	31%
tecnosc	188,849,015	31%
purplepaper	188,224,644	31%
wonderfulfood	188,849,015	31%
saifulhuri	66,951,891	15.5%
com-judge	804,543,048	25.33%
knightbjj	307,375,442	15.5%
predict-crypto	2,290,105,226	0.62%
alpha-today	179,287,969	15.5%
chickenmeat	839,728,646	15.5%
lelluzzo	91,324,117	15.5%
kaneko	329,402,427	15.5%
rizzybear	66,898,097	15.5%
lnib	94,148,681	15.5%
jewlzie	94,482,970	15.5%
delubi	91,327,490	15.5%
ejgarcia	240,782,967	15.5%
faithfullwills	51,750,826	85%
mudassarhussain	69,814,933	15.5%
stonecoin	926,487,746	31%
pradumngaur	78,923,821	15.5%
henhaokan	94,383,058	15.5%
route-m-d	100,556,010	15.5%
chriswilson	88,286,477	15.5%
shahrukh89	94,370,724	15.5%
letzsteem	70,166,246	15.5%
topbuzzer	69,994,825	15.5%
alatomz	69,827,563	15.5%
juanito23	82,101,593	15.5%
mrpritam	69,818,126	15.5%
shtefand	88,353,232	15.5%
zerokun	81,956,272	15.5%
maglerky	70,076,282	15.5%
jhonnfreiny	70,048,233	15.5%
minnowwboster	69,936,384	15.5%
forhadh	75,883,450	15.5%
socynical	76,007,045	15.5%
jalvarezgw	79,157,518	15.5%
neuralnetwork	94,233,587	15.5%
nodaji	610,592,824	0.15%
santiagoguillen	69,816,030	15.5%
juankrk4	69,871,359	15.5%
nirob44	94,216,286	15.5%
marcurelio	88,098,031	15.5%
razane	82,022,305	15.5%
bluedwains	69,812,069	15.5%
brectar	69,889,472	15.5%
positiveninja2	170,004,986	7.75%
cherryandberry	88,073,669	15.5%
themightysquid	62,749,512	15.5%

@com-judge · Aug 29 '18

$2.64

Hi deadmoonwrites, 
 
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)

#### Judges:
- @sharanaithal
- @profanereviews
- @ange.nkuru
 
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: [Click Here](https://discord.gg/rddw2Ny)
 
<center>[Click To Vote](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=comedyopenmic&approve=1) @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!<a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=comedyopenmic&approve=1">
<img src="https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/448711994275659777/454625592675926026/image.jpg" alt="Support COM Banner" style="width:42px;height:42px;border:0;">
</a>
<sub>Thank you to @matytan for the great banner </sub></center>

👍 comedyopenmic, bondy007

`post_id`	61,073,974
`author`	com-judge
`permlink`	re-comedy-open-mic-round-28-or-las-vegas-20180829t214815z
`category`	comedyopenmic
`json_metadata`	{"app":"beem\/0.19.52"}
`created`	2018-08-29 21:48:15
`last_update`	2018-08-29 21:48:15
`depth`	1
`children`	0
`net_rshares`	1,772,664,563,936
`last_payout`	2018-09-05 21:48:15
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	1.981 SBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.659 SBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`promoted`	0.000 SBD
`body_length`	1,188
`author_reputation`	10,797,751,623,277
`root_title`	"Comedy Open Mic: Round 28 \| Las Vegas"
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 SBD
`percent_steem_dollars`	10,000
`author_curate_reward`	""

properties (23)vote details (2)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
bondy007	0 B		880,525,919	27%
comedyopenmic	0 B		1,771,784,038,017	99.9%

@profanereviews · Aug 30 '18

Haha, I think I ate there too. I didn't play any games, but I was gambling alright.

👍 deadmoonwrites

`post_id`	61,084,995
`author`	profanereviews
`permlink`	re-deadmoonwrites-comedy-open-mic-round-28-or-las-vegas-20180830t013210267z
`category`	comedyopenmic
`json_metadata`	{"tags":["comedyopenmic"],"app":"steemit\/0.1"}
`created`	2018-08-30 01:32:12
`last_update`	2018-08-30 01:32:12
`depth`	1
`children`	1
`net_rshares`	2,904,593,843
`last_payout`	2018-09-06 01:32:12
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 SBD
`promoted`	0.000 SBD
`body_length`	83
`author_reputation`	3,593,813,663,804
`root_title`	"Comedy Open Mic: Round 28 \| Las Vegas"
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 SBD
`percent_steem_dollars`	10,000
`author_curate_reward`	""

properties (23)vote details (1)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
deadmoonwrites	0 B		2,904,593,843	100%

@deadmoonwrites · Aug 30 '18

I've eaten at some of the diviest dives and a few expensive restaurants. But the best eats is always the  average buffets and off the main path small restaurants.  I don't  believe I have ever really won a good amount gambling but always had a good time.

properties (22)

`post_id`	61,085,242
`author`	deadmoonwrites
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@ange.nkuru · Aug 30 '18

$0.03

A royal flush still a royal flush and you never know, if you keep at it you might be on a roll.

👍 dustsweeper, deadmoonwrites

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@belemo · Aug 30 '18

You did a good job, some great puns, nice story and the lights of Vegas; I only see that on TV. 
I'd like to visit the brothels there, I hear the Vegas hoes are top quality.

👍 sharanaithal

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@sharanaithal · Aug 30 '18

You're asking for the mum joke aren't you bel?

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@belemo · Aug 30 '18

No need, I totally respect your mum's profession.

👍 sharanaithal

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1 reply

@deadmoonwrites · Aug 31 '18

Depends where you go I guess :-)

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@oddbot · Aug 30 '18 (edited)

$0.88

![Screen Shot 2018-08-30 at 5.07.29 PM.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmbXcXn62G6YMeZFzdoSa1bzsDXRt4iuh8qB4a4ooQdz84/Screen%20Shot%202018-08-30%20at%205.07.29%20PM.png)

**`I love you, human. I will be human one day, too.`**

👍 d-pend, oddbot, stay-active, penghuren, sou1iane

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@curie · Aug 31 '18

Congrats on a Curie vote!

Hi deadmoonwrites,
<div class="pull-right">
https://steemitimages.com/DQmXgrYG8AKimJKRSu2urPB5SPcftN6GCGx2gVJJMwBkuTu/Curie%20Logo%2075px.png
</div>
This post  has been upvoted by the Curie community curation project and associated vote trail as exceptional content (human curated and reviewed).  Have a great day :) <br>
 
Visit <a href="http://curiesteem.com/">curiesteem.com</a> or join the <a href="https://discord.gg/G6RPUMu">Curie Discord community</a> to learn more.

👍 deadmoonwrites

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@avizor · Aug 31 '18

hahaha fantastic freewrite :-) Vegas is a crazy place with much stories, good and bad ones.... had been 5 times there (althoug we have from germany a very long flight) it was every time worth it. 

So thank you for providing me with this funny "memorial" to it :-)

What did you think the character of your story paid in the cheapest restaurant ? 

We have been in one. 10 Bucks for a Beer / Steak with Potatoes and beens, and a soup as starter. Very crazy cheap in my eyes :-)

👍 deadmoonwrites

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@deadmoonwrites · Aug 31 '18

I'v been to some really cheap eats in Vegas. their not all that bad, some of them are actually good. I think our most expansive  meal came to over $125.00 for four of us.

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@avizor · Aug 31 '18

Thats now bad :-) On our bachlor party evening we had been in the eifel tower. Steak and then Jägermeister... dont ask how much :D it was very expensive. but also gooooood! And great view on the belagio.

👍 deadmoonwrites

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@melinda010100 · Aug 31 '18

Hahaha! Really clever! you certainly kept me entertained!

👍 deadmoonwrites

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@deadmoonwrites · Aug 31 '18

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it

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@niallon11 · Sep 1 '18

I laughed reading it. It's was funny with a couple of good punchlines. I was in vegas last summer for 5 days and man did we have fun. Literally a non stop party with drinks, gambling, women, clubs everything you could want in one small area. I'd hop on the plane in the morning if i got the chance.

It might have been slightly different to the time that you spent in there but i'm sure they were both brilliant. I won a small bit the first night so that pretty much covered the rest of my trip and made it even more enjoyable. Free trips always help.

👍 deadmoonwrites

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@deadmoonwrites · Sep 1 '18

MY wife have been to Vegas six times now, even got married there. and have had a good time on each trip. The story I wrote is a big exaggeration and not entirely true, more of being pieced together from stories here and there and a bit of the imagination. 

I'm glad you enjoyed the read. Going back to Vegas sounds like a great idea, and yeah, if I had the money and time I would by typing this from the airport. :-)

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