Those of you who follow me, know I enjoy photography. But I'm also a Chef, at a local restaurant.

This is a very simple, really nutritional, low calorie and, most importantly, very tasty dish, which you can prepare in 40 minutes (beginner) or 20 minutes (a person who knows how to switch on the oven by throwing a cooking knife, in a dark kitchen).

I'm going to give you a summary of the required ingredients at the end of this cooking lesson. In the mean time, just follow along and remember that anything I mention refers to a double portion. No, you're not forever alone, there's a hot girl or boy living near you, who will be excited that you're an excellent cook!

Apologies for using my phone camera, instead of my DSLR, but I didn't feel like exposing my expensive lenses to all the steam. Hey, **steem**! Haha! :D

**Step 1: Chop it up!**

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You need approximately 700 grams (25 oz) of potatoes. Peel them and chop'em into same size cubes (or they won't boil evenly).

**Step 2: Boil them alive!**

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Cover with water and be sure to add some salt - a spoon or two is enough. Salt keeps the potatoes from becoming too mushy. Don't boil them too violently or the potatoes will kill you from within, while you're sleeping. I've seen it happen, guys, it's not a joke. OK, it's a joke. But boil them slowly. Or they'll kill you. No, not really. Well, maybe.

**Step 3: Foam?**

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Use a spoon and gather the white foam forming on top. These are the souls of the potatoes. What? You thought you're not committing vegecide?

**Step 4: Fork!**

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Prong the boiling potatoes with a fork every five minutes. If the potato splits in two, then it's time to get them out fast. Or you'll be cooking mashed potatoes in a minute or two.

**Step 5: Move it, move it, move it!**

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Put the potatoes in an aluminum or porcelain container, which is resistant to heat.

**Step 6: Dead pork, tomato bits and white cheese.**

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You need a 100 grams (3.5 oz) of each: **ham** (pork and chicken, according to religion or carnivoroussnessness), **tomatoes** and **white cheese** (Americans call it Greek cheese or feta. It's Bulgarian cheese. It even has the *lactobacillus bulgaricus* bacteria inside to prove it!). Chop it up in similar sized cubes and throw it in, like you don't care!

**Step 7: Sauce 'n' mix!**

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From left to right: **olive oil** (5 spoons, rich in vitamin E!; or use sunflower oil), **savory** (a spoon), **black pepper** (just a sprinkle, unless you want it extra spicy), **lytenitza** (two spoons of the magic Balkan sauce! Relax, it's just a type of relish and you can find something similar at your local store - more about it in the ingredients list).

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Mix it all in with some water - it shouldn't take you more than 30 seconds of stirring.

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Put it on top and get ready...

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... to take a spoon and mix everything nice, so the sauce is everywhere. I usually put some on the waitress's... wait, that's a different story, for a different tag. You almost got me there, baked potatoes, you almost got me.

**Step 8: Commencing thermal processing. Enabling nasal receptors.**

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I use a top grill only oven, but you can use a conventional one. The potatoes are already cooked, so the idea is to simply heat everything up nicely.

**Step 9: Oh, yellow cheese, oh, yelooow cheese!**

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Here's a 100 grams (3.5 oz) of what ya'll fancy 'mericans call "cheddar". Others call it yellow cheese, and Balkan folk call it "kashkaval" and that's what it should be called, period.

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Get the hot potatoes out, sprinkle the kashkaval on top and put it back in the oven for just a minute, so it melts.

**Step 10: Engage saliva production, instruct eyes to open wide.**

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OMG, omg, here it is! Slurp, slurp!

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Grab a fork and a beer and enjoy a well deserved meal! Also, if you feel like punching someone in the face, that's the Balkan ingredients talking.

Right, the ingredients! So, **for two portions:**

**Main bits:**
- Potatoes: 700 grams (25 oz)
- Ham: 100 grams (3.5 oz)
- Tomatoes (peel them for a smoother experience): 100 grams (3.5 oz)
- White cheese (feta or sirene): 100 grams (3.5 oz)
- Yellow cheese (cheddar): 100 grams (3.5 oz)

**Sauce:**
You can add any spice you want. I often add turmeric, cumin or sesame seeds to the list below.
- Olive or sunflower oil: 5 spoons of tastiness!
- Savory: a spoon
- Black pepper: just a dash; add more for spiciness on the way in and the way out!
- Lyitenitsa: 2 spoons. OK, so what's that Balkan magic relish? It's usually tomatoes, peppers, carrots, eggplant, vegetable oil, sugar and salt. Some nations call it avjar (which is slightly different). But you can find something similar at your local store. Trust me, it's worth it. Or, if you are too lazy, **just use ketchup**!

Price for one, at our restaurant:  €2.50 ($2.80).

There you have it. You can now impress someone and get him in bed. Then go sleep on the sofa, 'cause having sex with a full stomach is a horrible idea.

You can follow my professional cooking on #dek-cooking! There's nothing to follow now, this is the first recipe. You get excited fast, don't you?

***
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I offer [Professional Translation and Editing Services](https://steemit.com/steemit/@dek/professional-translation-and-editing-services) in exchange for Steem.