A Dane in America: Reflections on 35 Years of Living in the USA as a Foreigner by denmarkguy

life · @denmarkguy · Jun 29 '17

$44.61

A Dane in America: Reflections on 35 Years of Living in the USA as a Foreigner

<html>
<p>After some 35+ years of living in the USA, I sometimes wonder why it is that I <em>still</em> don't feel entirely at home in this country. After all, this <em>is</em> my home now, and I have lived here longer than anywhere else in the world.</p> 
<h2><em>College: Hey, I'm Just VISITING!</em></h2>
<p>
<div class="pull-right">
<p><img src="http://i.imgur.com/hYJRWNz.jpg" alt="Danish flag" /><br />
<em>Danish house... with Danish flag</em></p>
</div>
</p>
<p>I first came to the US in 1981 to attend university, in Austin, Texas. Originally, I was just going to stay for four years to complete my degree, and then return to my native Denmark. However, along the way I met an American woman and got married, and after I graduated college it somehow <em>"happened"</em> that I started building a life in the US, rather than Denmark.</p>
<p>One thing led to another, and in no time at all I found myself involved in a small import business, having a mortgage and following the American Dream of taking on lots and lots of consumer debt!</p>
<p>In spite of this, I never quite stopped thinking of myself as <em>"Danish,"</em> and would head back for vacation and family visits in <em>"the old country"</em> about once a year or so.</p>
<h2><em>The Very LONG Visit...</em></h2>
 <p>Don't get me wrong, I love my "adopted" country. I live here entirely by choice; nobody has forced me to be here.</p>
<p>
<div class="pull-left">
<p><img src="http://i.imgur.com/grG3H5w.jpg" alt="Bonfire" /><br />
<em>Beach bonfire on Skt Hans eve, at midsummer</em></p>
</div>
</p>
<p>Along the way, I have met many fellow immigrants from Denmark; from the rest of Europe, and beyond... and the one thing many of us seem to share is the fact that no matter <em>how much</em> we may love our new country and feel like Americans, there is always some small part of us that still feels like <em>"foreigners,"</em> right down to the fact that we tend to refer to visits to our birth countries as <em>"going home."</em> &nbsp;</p> 
<p>It's a bit strange to think about, since the population of the US is-- <em>ultimately</em>-- made up almost entirely of people who have moved here <em>from somewhere else.</em></p> 
<p>So what gives? Why do immigrants so seldom feel completely settled?</p> 
<h2><em>It's the Little Things that Matter</em></h2>
<p>I believe that no matter how favorable or adverse the circumstances surrounding your immigration may be, there will <em>always</em> be certain parts of your "old" life that were somehow <em>better</em> than your new life in the US. At the very least, there are things you'll end up feeling strangely nostalgic about.</p> 
<p>
<div class="pull-right">
<p><img src="http://i.imgur.com/48STZfy.jpg" alt="ChurchLandscape" /><br />
<em>Typical Danish summer landscape with typical Danish village church</em></p>
</div>
</p>

<p>There may be certain aspects of your childhood culture; maybe certain foods; maybe you miss certain nuances of your old language-- <em>whatever</em> it is, it does set immigrants up to harbor and assortment feelings of longing for small elements of another time and place in their lives; feelings you simply wouldn't <em>know,</em> if you were <em>"native born"</em> in the US.</p>
<p>For me, it's a strange mixture of stuff. The way butter tastes different. The incredibly long summer days. The way public spaces are sound insulated so they are relatively quiet, not a cacophany of noise. The fact that there are lots of clocks in public view, so you don't need to wear a watch. Public transportation that really <em>works.</em> The smoked fish. The beech forest in the spring. I miss the Danish bread, and the small bakeries found in almost every town and village, and the way we'd go buy fresh baked goods almost every morning as part of <em>"normal life."</em> There are others, but I'll stop now...</p> 
<h2><em>Dreams... and Reality</em></h2>
<p>Even <em>if</em> our lives in the US are close to perfect, and we <em>are</em> living "The American Dream," these little longings frequently tug at the corners of our awareness.</p> 
<p>
<div class="pull-left">
<p><img src="http://i.imgur.com/N5Fu1P1.jpg" alt="MelbyMill" /><br />
<em>The historic windmill near where I grew up</em></p>
</div>
</p>
<p> Ironically, even though I make my living from <em>"the capitalistic way,"</em> I sometimes miss the core of Danish culture that places less emphasis on every aspect of living as a <em>"commercial opportunity."</em> I miss the idea that it <em>doesn't</em> make you lazy if you're not thinking about work, every waking moment of your life... and it's not "wrong"
 to take seven weeks of vacation per year.</p> 
<p>As I stated previously, I have met many fellow immigrants along the way, and the thing that seems to tie us is this occasional reflection on little things we "miss." Doesn't mean we want to <em>leave, </em> just that there are certain things we wish were different.</p>
<p>I know many of you who read these pages don't live in the country where you were born-- so I invite you to reflect on how you feel about your "new" home, and whether there are things you miss from <em>before.</em> Maybe there aren't, and that's certainly OK, too!</p>
<p><em><strong>How about YOU?</strong></em> Are you currently living away from your country of birth? How long have you lived there? Are there things you miss, where you are now? What are they? Do you still think about your nativ country as "home?" Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- start the conversation!</p>

<p><em>(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)<br>
Posted 20170628 22:46 PDT</em></p>
</html>

👍 donkeypong, shaka, teamsteem, liberosist, pharesim, vcelier, dunia, carrinm, girlbeforemirror, oaldamster, everittdmickey, kryptik, karenb54, j-o-n-t, edb, livingfree, steem-id, whatamidoing, thescribbler, rynow, berkah, ben.zimmerman, edje, pnc, kendewitt, leongkhan, nepalipahad, pavelkanks, syn999, sallsteem, ronni, old-guy-photos, jsantana, nataliia, sc-steemit, sv67216721, goingmobile, ribalinux, inber, nonamer, pepe.maya, sidwrites, masteryoda, owhondabright, leontravels, n00s, whiteblood, dragon40, yoes, siniceku, networkallstar, lamech-m, raymondc, annaha, theessentials, stover.daniel, synapse, aismor, elopez, velimir, alex-icey, ortigas100, ekan, awesomianist, and 9 others

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@whiteblood · Jun 29 '17

$0.21

A very Nice and heart touching post. Please stay well in "Adopted' home.

👍 denmarkguy

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@denmarkguy · Jun 29 '17

Thank you! Interestingly, I ended up in the Pacific Northwest, which is similar to Denmark, in some ways. I like it here!

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@blueheaven · Jun 29 '17

$0.18

This a very cheraming and emotional blog you are writing hear.I just reedit & fillit by hart.chearup guys keep bloging & shear experiance like this.👍

👍 denmarkguy, blueheaven

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@denmarkguy · Jun 29 '17

Thank you @blueheaven, just remembering some times from my earlier days. Glad you enjoyed it!

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@stover.daniel · Jun 29 '17

$0.55

I am American and living in France for 9 years now.

I miss the land and my family, and that's pretty much it.

People in France certainly aren't lazy, but there is some difference in the attitude towards what work fundamentally is.

If I were to try to explain in one sentence, it would be this: "Work exists so that people can have barbecues."

I may have to come back to the States soon, and I am not sure how I feel about that.

Thanks for the well written post!

👍 denmarkguy, edb

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@denmarkguy · Jun 29 '17

Hi @stover.daniel, and first of all-- welcome to Steemit! I hope you'll enjoy your time here with us!

I expect France is much like the rest of Western Europe... work is something you do to enable you to otherwise enjoy life. That's how it was (and is) in Denmark, too... less focus on working "so you can BUY stuff." 

Seems to me that living abroad is a good thing... offers some perspectives we might not have, otherwise.

Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

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@karenb54 · Jun 29 '17

$0.21

I lived where  I was born and would gladly  move tomorrow lol maybe thou could retire back to Denmark :)

👍 denmarkguy

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@denmarkguy · Jun 29 '17

Well, my wife and I still go back for a visit every year or two... still have a lot of family over there, and there's something comforting about setting foot on Danish soil again, every now and then.

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@karenb54 · Jun 29 '17

I can imagine,  it will always be home :)

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@leontravels · Jun 29 '17

$0.02

Nice post! Well written 👏🏻

👍 denmarkguy

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@denmarkguy · Jun 29 '17

Thank you!

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@sallsteem · Jun 29 '17

$0.03

You Have Great Things mr. @denmarkguy
Being Alone You Alone But You Always Respect The Things That Are In Him

I @sallsteem Do not Forget Follow And UpvoteThanks

👍 sallsteem

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@raymondc · Jun 29 '17

$0.02

like your story !

👍 denmarkguy

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@denmarkguy · Jun 29 '17

Thank you!

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@vanessa11val · Jun 29 '17

Hello denmarkguy love your post , very nice written. Have a nice day. I @denmarkguy  Do not Forget Follow And Upvote Thanks you

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@everittdmickey · Jun 29 '17

$0.41

I'm a native Texan
some of my ancestors came to this country
in the 1400's
some of my OTHER ancestors 'welcomed' them ashore.
they'd already been here for tens of thousands of years.
I currently reside near Berkley East
a.k.a 
_Austin Texas_

👍 denmarkguy

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@denmarkguy · Jun 29 '17

$0.04

UT grad.
Lived in Austin 1981-1997; in Round Rock 1997-2006. 
Actually found a couple of distant relatives in Danevang (down by El Campo).

👍 everittdmickey

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@everittdmickey · Jun 29 '17

$0.07

my Bonus Son graduated from UT a few years ago.
My wife was born in Buda
She's got a TON of relatives living here.
I'm from the Llano Estacado.

👍 denmarkguy

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@amuroturah · Jun 29 '17

Great post! I was born in the Philippines and have lived in the United States for over 20 years now. Though I miss my childhood memories from my country of birth, I consider the US as my home.

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@arorapuneet · Jun 29 '17

$0.04

This is melting my heart ...nice post ...it ok man ...keep enjoying each and every moment of life

👍 denmarkguy

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@denmarkguy · Jul 4 '17

Thanks!

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@jimenavm · Jun 29 '17

$0.23

As Mexican  🇲🇽   in Canada 🇨🇦  I quite feel the same way.
I lived in Silkeborg for 2 years. I love Denmark 🇩🇰  with all my heart ❤️!
Thanks for this article

👍 denmarkguy

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@denmarkguy · Jul 4 '17

That's an interesting journey... Mexico to Vancouver is quite a change; I now live just down on the Olympic Peninsula which is not THAT different from Denmark. Except the mountains!

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@ronni · Jun 29 '17

Thank you for sharing denmarkguy. It was great to read your story and getting to know you and your background a little better. 

As a dane myself I find your words very uplifting. It makes me a little more aware of all the good things in my Danish existence. It helps making me more grateful of what I have.

ronni

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@moderninvestor · Jun 29 '17

Im honestly surprised that you have stayed so long in the states, nearly EVERY european I know has moved back to europe, and a large portion of Americans as well have left to europe too

Ive been living in Europe since i was 18 and have loved every single second of it, I was originally born in New York, and found europe to be so much more....inviting, clean, calm and peaceful

Ive gotten to the point where I no longer consider the states "Home" its more of a place where my family lives

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@valiozzi · Jun 29 '17

$0.04

There is of course A difference between the good ol' Europe (which is not that good due to an immigrant invasion) and the New World.

👍 denmarkguy, valiozzi

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@denmarkguy · Jul 4 '17

That is, indeed, true. Too bad parts of Europe are falling apart the way they are.

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@whatamidoing · Jun 29 '17

I never felt home in America despite it being my "home country".  After leaving I have come to appreciate it more but I still have very little desire to go back.  Now I feel home where I find a sense of community and a way to connect with he World in harmonious and fun ways.  Sadly I've found multiple places like that's only to see them disappear with gentrification.  For now steemit will have to suffice, and I hope that I can eventually bring this feeling to my 3D experience.

Always enjoy your perspective :-)

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@pepe.maya · Jun 29 '17

Well, I can understand you, you have a sweet memories from your childhood and you love your country. USA is your country now, but what is in your heart?!

properties (22)

@edje · Jun 29 '17

I never really lived for longer in another country, but I stayed for a couple of months in various parts of the world, ao Vancouver for 3 months, Baltimore for 2 months, and travelling Asia, South America, Australia for several months. Although I really like to learn new cultures, be somewhere away from home, I always like it when returning home as well. I also noticed that many immigrants seek their 'own' wherever they live. Each city has a Dutch (I'm Dutch) hang-out. I guess we always are attached to where we were born and raised.

properties (22)

@girlbeforemirror · Jun 29 '17

My mother left South Africa and came to Australia. When I ask her what she misses from there she says _nothing._ Although she can speak Afrikaans I have never heard her utter a word of it. 
Actually just once I heard her say,  _Voertsek._
They left behind sadness, so I think it is easier to turn away from it all. It is great that you hold onto those parts of yourself and teach them to your children. 
Bringing culture with you is a treasure to your adopted country. It adds to it's diversity and substance. 
I am learning about the personal, lived experience of South Africa from Steemians, it has broadened my perception of the country. It is not the place she describes leaving in the '70s.

properties (22)

@rawpride · Jun 30 '17

$0.02

My grandmother immigrated to the USA when she was 16 years old.  Glad to have you!

👍 denmarkguy

properties (23)vote details (1)

@denmarkguy · Jul 4 '17

Thank you!

properties (22)

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properties (22)

@old-guy-photos · Jul 4 '17

$0.25

As an aside, my father in law moved from North Carolina to Michigan when he was 18. He lived in Michigan for **65 years** but still referred to North Carolina as home!

👍 denmarkguy

properties (23)vote details (1)

@denmarkguy · Jul 4 '17

It's one of those strangely "human" things... our "sense of place" often can be quite different from where we are actually living and hanging our hats on a daily basis.

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