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There is a Buddhist Truth known as 'Dependant Arising'. In very simple terms it means we are all connected, because none of us enjoy a form of existence that is not utterly and totally dependant upon all other beings. 

Have you ever noticed that how you behave can effect the mood of those around you?

Having the skills and strength reject negative emotions emanating from others can also have profound and lasting effects on those around you.

I witnessed two such people yesterday, in a shop - a telco. 

A man was angry because the shop, owned by a multinational corporation, was typically understaffed. They even knew they were understaffed and had instituted a process to try to make it work anyway.

A staff member stood at the front - their sole job was to create a list of customers, so the overworked tech staff could address the customers in the order they presented themselves.

The man had apparently been served before, and the staff had not done what they promised they would do. Now he was back, obviously stressed and short of time and feeling the unfairness of a system where he had already waited for his turn, and now being told he had to wait again.

The man was angry - full of negative emotions, and sharing them with everyone present. Taking out his frustration at the international telco on the staff trying to do the best they can in a shitty job. There were probably other things going on in his life. Stresses at work, or home. Whatever. Who really knows what troubles others really have?

The second person was a customer who identified herself as not being paid to be nice, so she was allowed to be rude. Telling the man he was an arsehole, in front of the whole store and the many people in it. She diffused the situation, eloquently and awesomely. 

The man left, vowing to take his business elsewhere.

The mistake he made, of course, was letting his belief that the staff were responsible for his little slice of misery that day (and let's face it, in the context of a world where much more misery abounds than the general frustrations we have with our corporate service providers, that slice of misery must be small indeed) control his actions. He blamed the staff, not their corporate overlords who were trying to squeeze every possible cent of profit available to them at the expense of both their staff and customers.

In reality, the staff were connected to him in his misery. If he had have taken the time to ask them, they would no doubt agree that more staff were needed. That the instituted process was at best a band-aid solution. That they too were frustrated.

Thankfully, the woman gave him pause to think. He left. Hopefully he is reflecting on the nature of his encounter yesterday - and on how to be a better person.

Because every action we take, and interaction we have, can leave people happier, or feeling worse. Because we are all Dependant Arisings. We all exist in total, and utter, dependance upon everyone else, and we cannot be truly happy without them.

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