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*"Be a good kid"*. More or less we have all been raised with that phrase. I can still hear it in my ears. But what makes actually a kid, a good kid? First of all obedience, then politeness and to a further extend acceptance. I cannot remember how I interpreted the word "good" back then. However I believe that it was the opposite of being naughty. When you feel like being naughty though and someone asks you to behave, then the whole thing may be translated into your mind to "Oh so I have to please others".

Of course it is not that tragic after all to put limits to a kid. Kids need limits in order to feel safe and not being constantly out of control. The problem starts when this label of the "good kid" follows you or even worse hunts you in your adult life. When you feel that you owe to others and through the acceptance of others you accept yourself. Let alone the expression of anger which is not "allowed" at all. And this road of hell is being built by "Yeses". Thank god I realised that this is not the case at all in an early age as my parents -the ones who once used to tell me to be nice- explained to me that my value doesn't depend on what others think about me. (Thank you for that mum and dad).

Saying "NO" whenever you feel it, unlocks the balanced self and a balanced life. We cannot satisfy everyone and we don't have to satisfy everyone. By always making other people's favours and accepting from minor to more important things, you're only heading towards losing who you are. We need to say no sometimes. Whether this is to an invitation to go out, a collaboration, a phone call we decline, a job, or anything else.

There is no need to suppress yourself in order to make someone happy. Ok sometimes you may need to help a loved one and it sounds reasonable to make an exception there. But overall people don't even know that you're doing them a favour. They don't know that you want to say no but instead you're saying yes in order to please them. They get what you give them. A yes means a yes. That simple. In addition humans tend to "expand" more an more towards your personal space as long as you let them to. So some nos show to others who you are, what you want and what you don't.