Blood Pressure Rises by futuremind

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· @futuremind ·
$1.22
Blood Pressure Rises
I was thinking about that time,
<center>
*...Blood pressure rises...*</center>

Feeling ridiculed for my truth,

Which you said you wanted,

But that was a lie,

Now I'm bad and you hide,

Oh how I've experienced this one thousand times,

I was thinking about that time,
<center>
*...Blood pressure rises...*</center>

When I looked into your eyes,

and realized you sought me out, 

Then seeds of doubt, yeah I know what this is all about, 

Just a lonely old one who's blood becomes colder,

I fight it, I do..

But things still come unglued,

I think and I think and I think and I think,

feeling my grip tighten harder and harder on the sink,

The water fills the glass,

I've seen this before,

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh... 

I was thinking about that time,
<center>
*...Blood pressure rises...*
</center>

And my glass cracked,

No really... 

It did...

![20200614_163642.jpg](https://files.steempeak.com/file/steempeak/futuremind/ZJrzrYex-20200614_163642.jpg)

I was thinking about that time,

And realized I did you a favor,
<center>
*...I chose to suffer...*</center>
<center>
Now you shouldn't need to do that to another.</center>


---

This poem was influenced by the above photograph. 
I was thinking about a few different things, things *of the past*, and feeling stress. 
Apparently I was feeling more stress than I even realized, because the glass in my hand broke while I was thinking. 

The entire experience was symbolic to me. 

In a moment of stress, I was reminded by this broken glass of how little the past matters. 

Thank you for stopping by, I hope you're all having a wonderful day! 

<center>
Much love,
@futuremind
</center>

https://steemitimages.com/0x0/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/493408527801647104/493409447398473738/future_3.gif

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vote details (43)
@owasco ·
$0.31
Something tells me she (she?) went on to do it again. 
Interesting poem. I like the structure, my blood pressure may have gone up a tad too.
"I did you a favor" is a great line. I often think of the favors people have done for me that at the time I did not appreciate. I imagine some think that about me too. 
👍  
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vote details (1)
@futuremind ·
$0.06
Thank you for reading and reflecting my friend. 

>Something tells me she (she?) went on to do it again.

Very perceptive. I have a pattern of attracting abusive women who lie and play the victim.
So it's more like... *all of them..* 
I know that some of them went on to repeat abusive behavior, but once my heart is broken I tend to completely detach/distance and inwardly reflect. 

>I often think of the favors people have done for me that at the time I did not appreciate. I imagine some think that about me too.

That is probably a much more productive and mature way to think, than in terms of *"favors I've done for others that they did not appreciate."*

I've been single for 4 years *(with the exception of a recent short lived online relationship that went disastrously wrong, me being the bad guy of course.)*

At a certain point one starts to wonder if they are delusional.. One starts to wonder if *they* are the problem and no one else. 

If I let go of my simple desires, simple things that I want *(while everyone tells me I should be happy to have no woman in my bed, and just be happy with myself...)* I just feel like it's all bullshit, and if I allow the bitterness to consume me, I will become the monster who raised me.  
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vote details (1)
@owasco ·
$0.30
Oh dear. That does not sound good! When I wrote my comment I removed "and probably you made the same mistake again too." Didn't want to be a bummer, but we make the same mistakes over and over again until we learn the lesson. I'm much older than you are, and I am very happy that sex is no longer a huge driving force for me. So many problems! I have enough of those, thank you. I need someone to recount the little things in my day with, and thankfully I have two daughters to do that with. A couple of good women friends to chat away with, and I am good. It makes life much much easier to be happy with being single. You have that to look forward to, because if I were younger I would be thinking very differently.  
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vote details (1)
@lucky4karmen ·
Very beautiful poem, i like it. It is expresing what you feel.
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