Thank you.

He has moments of lucidity at times, but they are getting fewer as the weeks pass. Unfortunately he does a lot of sleeping these days. When I go there he is typically slumped over in his chair sleeping. I'm loathe to wake him up but I do. we chat and I show him some photos of his grand daughter @smallsteps and his grandson. That's about as good as it gets these days. Today wasn't a good one though. 

Thanks for responding. It all makes me a bit sad but I'll be fine, until next weeks' visit.

I watched my mum fade away with cancer, and die quite horribly...My dad will be spared that it seems, but he will die not knowing his children and who he was in life. That makes me a bit sad. Thanks for commenting though, I know it's a sad post but it made me feel better writing it.

Yes, it is difficult on the family. I'm isolated here too, no other family here except my dad. It's left to me to visit him each week, despite not wanting to, which probably sounds really bad. 

I hope they have the brain upload/download thing you mention too...How funny would it be if they got the USB drive mixed up and you got someone else's though? Lol. 

Thanks for your message Eve, much appreciated. I'm a tough dude, I'll be ok, just helps to write about it sometimes.

It does...Just kind of puts it into perspective I guess. I'll be fine...This is a weekly thing for me, just sometimes it really gets at me, like today. Have a good weekend sir.

I have boxes of photos from the old days and love going through them. It sort of rekindles the memories. Unfortunately my dad is, well he's sort of gone mate. Still, despite that he is still my dad and I will remember him the way he was. I guess part of the sadness for me is that fact that I'm also getting on a bit, 50 in early March, and sort of feel my mortality a little more than when I was 25. I wonder if that will be me one day, but I know it won't...I'm not going into one of those places. I've got other plans.

It's always hard to go see dad, I know what I'm going to get I suppose...But I go. 

*Losing someone who is still around* is a terrible thing, I don't just mean in the respect of dementia. It could be a broken relationship, marriage, son or daughter friend. It eats at a person...[Sigh]. Life is tough sometimes, but it is all we have...Best to live it the best we can, value those we value (including ourselves) and lament the loss when it happens, but look to the future. Something like that anyway. 

Thanks for your message...Here have some of these...

!ENGAGE 25

:)

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Many go through it, you included it seems. Bloody terrible. I watched the same happen with my grandma (mum's mum) and again with my dad's mum...it'll be me one day I guess, possibly. 

Venting here, just writing the words, feels better. It's probably an *overshare* scenario and to be honest I'm not one to open up too much with this sort of thing but it helps for sure. 

...Now, what to cut, what to cut! Lol. 

!ENGAGE 25

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So many people have similar stories and there's many worse off than I am; That's often why I don't open up about stuff because there's always someone worse off. Situations like yours can be tough and can tend to linger, changing a person...Not you, but others maybe. I wonder if his third wife lived to regret he decision to bar your mum and uncle access to their father. I hope so.

Thanks for responding. I had thought no one would due to the depressing nature of the post...But people have and that makes me smile.

!ENGAGE 20

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Yep, that's how it starts. Heartbreaking  really. It' something I sometimes think about, as in what will it be like if (when) it happens to me. We have no children so we will need to look after ourselves. I've vowed not to go into a nursing home, but who knows I guess right? Especially if I am in my dad's condition. Sobering thought really. Makes me want to live life to the fullest now.

Hey there, thanks for your reply, and I agree completely, sharing things here has been an excellent experience mostly, probably due to the fact most of us here feel the same way, or are open to allowing others their own thoughts, emotions and feelings. It's a nice community.

It hasn't been pleasant I'll be honest. He has declined since 2004 when my mum passed away (cancer) and it's been a pretty poor scene to watch. Of course for that time I've been busy taking care of him, making sure he is safe, comfortable and engaged. Now though, the decline is rapid and it's starting to hit home. 

We'll be ok of course, it's part of life - Doesn't make it any easier to deal with though I guess. 

Thanks for your comment. I really appreciate it and hope things are well with you, or as well as possible. :) 

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There's many issues around this situation that the family need to consider or address as you have mentioned. Then there's the personal feelings and emotions  - A tough situation all around I think. I guess the good part is that the person suffering (if not in pain) is blissfully unaware. My dad is anyway. He is apathetic on pretty much everything. 

He's eating well at the moment and when he doesn't a whole raft of other things will kick into play but for now he is happy (I think) and safe. It's all we can ask for. 

Thanks for your comments. I know it may be a little raw for you considering your recent; loss. Thank you.

!ENGAGE 20

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Yes, at almost 50 it's something I occasionally think about, but of course don't dwell on. (My own future I mean.) It's difficult to watch it in my dad though yes. Writing helps sometimes, but I rarely open up about it - I'm surprised I did yesterday to be honest. Anyway, all good now, after a day of chores at home...Back on track. 

!ENGAGE 25

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Yes, that's the reality of it right? *We may end up the same way.* Makes me want to live my best life now.

I'm resigned to the future scenario with my dad and mostly don't let it come bubbling to the surface but occasionally that happens. When it does I rarely talk about it but figured it wouldn't hurt to do so on this occasion.

It's a pretty bad state of affairs for those who get it, and those around them. Like you say though, all we can do is make the most out of each day, be the best versions of ourselves and live life the best we can. 

Thanks for commenting, as always.