# One whole year has passed since I've worked. 

This week marks one year since I gave up my job. 

## My career of almost 20 years. 

When I joined steemit about 18 months ago I was still trying to maintain my job. 

But it was getting harder and harder and I eventually had to give up. 

# Creativity and feeling inspired brings meaning to my life now. 

I feel like I have spent the last year trying so hard to get better, get answers, find the right doctor with the right treatment.

The only time I go out now is to an appointment or test. The experience leaves me depleted and pained and too often disheartened.

## Yesterday I attended a bone scan.
It is in preparation for a possible spinal operation. 
While it confirmed the issues with my spine it also revealed wide spread degeneration. In many joints. 

## The worst is actually in my hands. 
As I go about my daily steemit art and craft distractions or try to write, I knew my hands were getting worse. 

# _The confirmation makes it more real._

But I am not going to stop creating with my hands. I can't, it is all I have left. 

Every thing I make, or write at the moment is a huge effort and conscious choice. 

### _Although I don't feel I have another choice. I need to do something in order to be something._

___ 

# So I will sloth on. 
I have enjoyed the slothy theme. I'm hooked. 

I have committed to trying new mediums and working three dimenensionally. This has resulted in some interesting sloths and Slothicorns lately. 

# This is yesterday's Slothicorn creation. 


![PSX_20180210_141429.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmXdAhd4X5gmAe747xSSqtyUJHRdvZF8yUNo6KqMSy7Kz4/PSX_20180210_141429.jpg)
_Keychain made of leather, cotton, felt and key ring accessories. All 100% upcycled and hand made, of course._
___

I have decided for the coming year if I can muster the energy to get to doctors appointments and reinforce my sick role, it is time to muster that same energy getting out and using my energy to engage in more enjoyable healthy missions too. 
___

# Time to dig deep and start living. 
![IMG_20170506_003403.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmWHv33vuujTxA3QPAFmtu4ESTMEDbxWKuq5EqCpEqLJsx/IMG_20170506_003403.jpg)


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