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It can be good to know your alone and not missed a shred of evidence to solve the issues. Alright I'm alone, I can do whatever the way I want. No not do whatever haha. I can't do whatever I want. However I can do life my way or it could be Rway! I realise I do have a vibrant social self in the right time and place.

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Have to set up the right conditions. Even in my school days I would have my gatherings and people still remember them. I don't seek to go with most other people are doing I think. I have time and money constrictions so when I do meet up with people I usually want to make the most of it. Of course don't want feel left out haha, what is there to be left out of? I see anti-social behaviors and I'm not jealous, but feel they steal my friends or at least their souls

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So I must pick up the torch! It's because I would rather do without than make due that I know what real loneliness is about. When I do go out or plan an interaction I want it to have some substance and meaning to it. I can wake up grumpy or try to feel bad about the world or situation but when I type it out here it all seems to make sense.  I just know still wake up stressed and feel that longing for a certain togetherness of people but it needs to be done right.

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Some encourage my views and want to see me succeed in creating the art expression of my unique perspective. Reminds me creating my own sort of social settings and my own art and music vibe is not so much about having control as having real fun for real. Too much fake fun distractions out there. I don't think anyone could disagree on that. 

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It's spring fever! I've been too cooped up my whole life! Alright create something to present! Yes, give them something to talk about. I've heard that when I put stuff out on social media people talk about it even if they don't seem to acknowledge it online. So that tells me something. I can put something out and give something to think about while not even being there. Some must think they didn't know life friendship could be that much work

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I want to put allot into my self and social self. Really make something of it