Yesterday we looked at a financial crisis in your marriage. 

![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmVNb7ci7sB3Cgq91kkjkzVJv9hLRrpoudaXwMgJuSssjB/image.png)

Today:

Practical help to overcome a financial crisis in your marriage.

### Communicate, this is like the number one golden rule for any situation in your marriage and also applies for financial difficulties.
A shared burden is better than a burden you try to solve alone. There will be lots of questions in each spouse's mind say for instance if one spouse lost a job. Questions like, *will we still be able to pay all the bills?* *Will we lose our home?* Communicate about these questions, decide on measures you can implement to reduce your expenses, support each other.  Decide to work together in this and not alone, and it will already feel if you are winning.

### Draw up a new budget together.  
Ask each other what is the most important to him or her. For example, food, transport, the kid's creche. Then start applying the money available from the most important to the less important items like e.g. magazines. 
Then again make a commitment to stick to the new budget. 

### Commit to making do with the bare necessities.  
Together write a list of your needs again from the most important to the least important. Again decide what you can do without. It might feel if your life is out of control, but here you can take control and think about what you are going to spend money on. This might be a good time to sell some of your stuff that you never use. 

https://image.freepik.com/free-photo/couple-calculating-family-budge_1398-1782.jpg

### Acknowledge each other's emotions. 
A whole list of emotions will be experienced by both spouses, like guilt, frustration, bitterness and feeling helpless. These emotions will have an impact on your marriage.  Acknowledge these emotions, acknowledge each other's emotions but don't let your emotions run wild and cause havoc. Some time ago I made a whole series of posts about emotional management. You are not your emotions, it is only the way you feel at this particular moment. Realise, that tomorrow will be a new day with new hope, insights and emotions. 

### Do not play the blame game. 
To try to blame your spouse for the situation, would not help at all. Avoid it all costs, later as time goes by, you can reflect calmly on what went wrong and to avoid similar mistakes in the future. 

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### If help is offered, accept it. 
This is not the time for pride. If your spouse and children are going to suffer and some family member or friend maybe offer to help, accept it. In financial difficulties refusing help, is a sign of selfishness. Later you will be in the position again to give back to someone else. 

### Minimize stress
Don't let this problem consume your whole life. Make time to talk and think about the crisis, but also schedule a time to still do something as a couple that won't cost you a lot. Talk a walk in the outdoors or make a meal together. Challenge each other to see who can prepare the best meal with the cheapest ingredients. Later you will look back at the experience, realising that it brought you closer together. 

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### Count your blessings!
Be grateful, even though you are going through a rough time there is always things to be grateful for. Shift your focus from the problem to the every day blessings. There is always people that are in a worse situation than you.  

Times flies and before you know it, things will look better, there will be a new job, a new opportunity and if you follow the above, your marriage will be intact and you could even be closer because of it. 

Thank you for reading. 

Source: Blueprints for a solid marriage. Dr. Steve Stephens
Images: freepik.com

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