![Snapchat-1118549653.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmTghn6vpCTDMNWbR3743FhZ93UvTzdJnxbYEuknTw39zm/Snapchat-1118549653.jpg)
*Maya and me on Thursday this week, just before I began to draft this piece*

**What does love mean to me?**
I honestly had to think hard to answer the above question. After spending half of the day searching for the words that express my thought, I figured I needed some help. So I asked a friend (Maya) and she said, 
>Love is beautiful when you meet the right person.

I have decided to use her answer as the fulcrum to explaining my thoughts on love.


![desktop-background-3061483__480.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmYEVcftWAapvoy4zZK3LBNyRPSRAk5TJsDitvYU3gffLH/desktop-background-3061483__480.jpg)
[Image Source](pixabay.com)

## Love is…
The first thoughts I had when searching for an answer was that there were many things that looked like love but weren't love. For instance, a girl meets a guy who is dashing, funny and just happens to say the right words. As she spends some more time with the guy, the butterflies inside of her begin to flutter. (Maya also told me that every girl has butterflies inside of her, but that’s a story for another day.) So back to the girl. After spending some pleasant moments with the guy, she might begin to think love is lurking around somewhere. Maybe that’s love to other people; but that doesn’t spell love for me.
Love is beyond just being funny, attractive or saying the right words that excite the butterflies.

As @thelovejunkie puts it
>Love is a verb, it's an action word. It's not enough to talk love, it's better to do it or show love. 

### For me, Love is when you make the conscious decision to be concerned about the growth, safety and freedom of any person.

## Love is beautiful…
I believe love is beautiful. Notice I didn’t say ‘True Love’. ‘True Love’ is just vain repetition. There is either love or no love. (It’s like fake sun or fake husband. It’s either the sun or it isn't the sun. He is either your husband or he isn't your husband). so back to the matter; Love is beautiful.

There are four things that make love beautiful. It is also these four things that define love. I identified these four things in my definition of love: 
>Love is when you make the conscious decision to be concerned about the growth, safety and freedom of any person

### Love is a conscious decision.
I listen to music a lot. In most romantic songs, you get the idea that people fall in love without reason or control. Folks, if someone doesn't need a reason to be in love with you, he/she definitely doesn't need a reason to break up with you. Such a relationship is shallow and cannot last the test of time. To love is a conscious effort. To love demands constant sacrifice. The guy/lady that you think is the best in whatever they are or do isn't always the best. You will always meet others who will outshine them in one area or the other: wealth, attractiveness, humour, etc. What makes it love is the conscious effort to stay and stick with that individual. Love must be based on a the premise that you have found the one you want to stick with, no matter what.

### Love is all about growth.
>Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own. -H. Jackson brown, jr.

The moment someone declares that they love you, they have declared that your growth is of great concern to them. I am not talking about growth in dancing to the latest music or rocking the latest fashion - although this could be included too. I am talking about all round positive growth. Of course, this implies that the person is ready to understand and appreciate who you are. From this, you might begin to realise that love is not just reserved for the romantic sphere. People who love each other push for the growth of each other. It is not the case that someone is content with moving forward while the other person lags behind. Of course, people cannot always move at the same pace. But where there is love, there is the motivation to help the other person to growth

### Love is about safety.
Let’s face it, we protect the things/people that are valuable to us. The dearer individuals are to us, the less risk we are willing to subject them to. This is not just on the external front. There are instances where people protect those who they love from their own selves. It is while fathers with dangerous insurmountable addictions always try to ensure their children are spared those additions. It is while wives choose to stay in an unhappy home, simply because they don’t want to subject the children they love to the stigma of a broken marriage. Of course, there is a limit to how much protection one can and should offer. A father who is a police chief shouldn't decide to have surveillance team around his daughter. This could be counter productive hence the next point.

### Love respects freedom and personal space.
> You know it’s love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you ‘re not part of their happiness. -Julia roberts 

If love is described as a cake, this is the icing. Sometimes, people, consumed by love nonetheless, do too such that they become intrusive. Remember the example above of the police chief? Well, he could give his daughter security tips, train her to speak for herself and even pay close attention to her friends. However, he should always remember that his daughter is a human being though with a unique style of thinking. The same applies to romantic relationships too. That a guy loves a girl doesn't mean he should know her every move. There should be place for trust and respect. Without this, the love will just be drab and unattractive like cake without icing. You know there is love; but it certainly isn't beautiful

## Love is beautiful when you meet the right person
Let me end my (rather long) response to the question by saying not every shows love to everybody. Certainly, every one can express love. However, while we can show concern and interest to the people we meet, the seriousness of love demands that we bestow it on a limited amount of people. That is why people have just one partners, that is why parents devote a lot of their resources to helping their children, that is why there are friends and best friends.

Therefore, to enjoy the beautiful of love in all forms, including romance, you often have to meet the right person. However, it isn't as if there is a right person somewhere with all of these qualities. Even the best relationships have their flaws. The right person is the person who has made the conscious decision to love you and for whom you are willing to make the same decision for too.

## Proof of showing love
This is particularly tricky as I don’t take pictures when I ‘share’ love. Besides, I’m kind of sensitive to other people’s emotions and I wonder how they will feel if they see their pictures on-line in posts like this one. However, I think I can talk about my [Valentine Give-away](https://steemit.com/community/@iamthegray/200-followers-hallelujah-plus-valentine-giveaway-free-sbd-and-resteem). 


![IMG_20180217_045008_085.JPG](https://steemitimages.com/DQmQm2m1BUZVge8U7PWwXbkMpmihe5WXT1ycwUZzKJ2CpZe/IMG_20180217_045008_085.JPG)

I had just made 200 followers and I decided to help my followers. At the end of the day, it was some ‘new’ followers that won the give-away. Those followers are shown above. I plan to do another soon, but this time solely for planktons who earn close to nothing on Steemit.


Thanks for reading


This is my entry for  [The Love Challenge Contest by @thelovejunkie](https://steemit.com/love/@thelovejunkie/the-love-challenge-contest-win-10sbd) . if you like my post and think I should win, [kindly click here to upvote my comment](https://steemit.com/love/@thelovejunkie/the-love-challenge-contest-win-10sbd#@iamthegray/re-thelovejunkie-the-love-challenge-contest-win-10sbd-20180217t040946989z)

Blessings