Your friends with cold fingers might just know more than you. Punday Monday 86, Comedy Open Mic 47 by improv

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· @improv · (edited)
$1.54
Your friends with cold fingers might just know more than you. Punday Monday 86, Comedy Open Mic 47
# Welcome to Punday Monday!
![puntender.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmWMgNVyXFxci85tcXX53XTs8eJQ7FtUgKfdeWnhptxzYJ/puntender.jpg)



### New To Punday?
Pull up a stool, order a spiked PUNch, and get to know some of the regulars. I'm your PUNtender, @improv. 

### How To Make a Pun
This contest is open to everyone. Here's a handy dandy guide on how to make a pun: [Learn to Pun](https://steemit.com/contest/@improv/puns-and-prizes-learn-to-pun-easy-fun-anybody-can-be-a-hit-at-parties)

### Rules for the PUN-test: 
* If you hope to win a prize, your pun must be your original work 
* Puns must be relevant to the topic of the week to win a prize, but they can be very *loosely* related.


### Last Week's Punday Monday:
[Here is last week's Punday Monday](https://steemit.com/contest/@improv/if-you-re-a-nervous-wreck-every-valentine-s-day-give-these-10-easy-steps-a-shot-punday-monday-85-comedy-open-mic-46), and all the puns that were eligible to win this week are in the comments!


## Hang on to your PUNderwear. The Winners of This Week's PUNday Monday Are...

https://media.giphy.com/media/83al7gohOF2kKSiLiF/giphy.gif
(GIF by @littlescribe)

### Rookie of the Week:

There were wonderful puns. A plethora of puns… but only from our veterans. Come join in the merry-making!

### Pocket Choice Awards: 
Every Friday, I put up a post to solicit audience favorites! They can vote on their favorites by sending POCKET to whomever they want to win. This week’s post is here: 
https://steemit.com/pocket/@improv/6kgi4-pocket-friday

![Capture.JPG](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmNjiVLX3JN6AwNEdnKzoUefCYyenFpeCuPVrdZmArj9jR/Capture.JPG)

@acolucky, chosen by @paul.atreides, retakes the throne!

* #### POCKET Choice Winner's Circle Season One: 
@aloha-creations, @professorbromide, @tcpolymath, @miniature-tiger, @lilygolightly, @chrisroberts, @stinawog, @f3nix, @doctorcrypto, @heroic15397, @littlescribe, @diebitch, @acolucky, @ablaze, and @paul.atreides.


* #### POCKET Choice Winners' Circle Season Two: 
@ablaze, @coinsandchains, @dollarsandsense, @doctorcrypto, @heroic15397, @littlescribe, @jk6276, @acolucky, @deceth

### Grand Prize (which isn’t bigger than the other prizes, just grander):

* ### Best Pun
* ### Best Pun of the Entire Week
* ### Best Overall Pun

## DRUMROLL PLEASE.....
![Capture.JPG](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmNoHFFJi5GJVnncUjMcQWoSy6zSVooAjQKrqtaHtLhZGR/Capture.JPG)
@paul.atreides for the third week in a row!!!
And holy heckfire, what a joke. It even inspired a character I played at ComedySportz last night. No one else knew, but I knew my character was named Tiny.

### And What Prizes Do They Win, You Ask?


* #### Full Strength, 100% Upvote!
Why, as usual, all the punsters got full strength upvotes on their submissions from @improv. This week they also got votes from @freewritehouse! They will next week, too! Together, these upvotes could total in excess of five whole cents!

* #### SBI
Which are little bitty upvotes on all your content forever. See @steembasicincome for details. I’ll send one to all of our qualified entrants this week!
Our entrants were:
@acolucky, @paul.atreides

Our winners get bonus prize SBI for winning!
This week only, since our participants and our winners are the same, they each got ANOTHER bonus SBI!
![Capture.JPG](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmUAqE5VaSnHG9QSzmj9cTGsJe9CT99qgbqJQ23UMaf32K/Capture.JPG)
Congrats, @acolucky, @paul.atreides

* #### @tipu Tip + @improv 100% upvote to the post of your choice
Our category winners will each get to choose a post (of their own or someone else's) and I will give that post a fully powered upvote and a @tipu tip! 

### This Week's Pun Topic Is: 
President’s Day

Garth, you do this one:
https://youtu.be/URf7zwwNnPU
(if she were a president, she’d be Baberaham Lincoln)

Now me,
What’s the 44th President’s favorite vegetable? Barackoli.

### I'm So Good at Puns 
If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in [My Free How-To Guide on Punning!](https://steempeak.com/contest/@improv/puns-and-prizes-learn-to-pun-easy-fun-anybody-can-be-a-hit-at-parties)

### @comedyopenmic nomination:
Who do I nominate for @comedyopenmic’s comedy challenge? I nominate the winners! This past week’s winners were:

@acolucky, @paul.atreides

<hr>
<hr>
<hr>

## Sponsors, related content, prizes, and money
### Sponsors!
#### @improv/ @freewritehouse
I mean, am I a sponsor of my own contest? Yes? I guess? Also, because I’m involved in @freewritehouse and they’ve/we’ve hosted Punday Monday events over on that page, I’d like to suggest that they (we) are also a sponsor! Regardless, check out the @freewritehouse community! Furthermore, they/we’re using their SP to upvote your puns!
#### @curie!
We are one of Curie’s chosen communities! Prizes have doubled in season 2, thanks to @curie’s sponsorship! Curie curators do tremendous work making sure unrecognized authors of quality content get recognized and rewarded! They do great work sifting through the heaps of posts to find the undiscovered gems.

### Related Content:
* Punday Monday Year One-Day contest results [HERE](https://steemit.com/contest/@freewritehouse/punday-monday-year-one-day-awards-ceremony)
* @freewritehouse offers writing and word-smithing contests every week
* @steembasicincome has a contest round-up (that includes us) where you can find more opportunities to win SBI. 
* @contestkings features our contest and MORE!
### Outside referrals that benefit me.
#### Coinbase: 
Cryptocurrency investment wallet [Join HERE and we’ll both get $10 of BTC](https://www.coinbase.com/join/5929c0788331aa072d9e347e)
* Hot tip, I buy BTC on pro.coinbase.com, then send it to bittrex to trade for Steem and send steem to my wallet here. It’s the most efficient way with the fewest fees I’ve found. If you’ve found better, let me know. - I learned from someone else that buying LTC and sending it to bittrex then trading it for BTC then trading that for STEEM is the least-fees way. Can someone confirm?

#### Robinhood: 
Investment platform buying/selling stocks [Join HERE and we’ll both get a share of a stock (probably worth ~$4)](http://share.robinhood.com/brendaw92)


#### Earn.com:
Small tasks for small rewards. Need a business or .edu email, [Join HERE and we’ll both get $1 of BTC](http://earn.com/improv/referral/?a=qmk07e7tzua677hk)

#### Mannabase: 
Sign up for universal basic income distribution funded by cryptocurrency [Join HERE](https://www.mannabase.com/?ref=3984bea863)

#### Swift: 
Yet another attempt at a UBI [Join HERE](https://www.swiftdemand.com/?referred_by=lochleinn)

#### Swell:
If you’re interested in more traditional investing, Swell invests in stocks that have a positive social impact according to their standards, and has a referral program whereby they’ll match your first $50 investment. [CLICK HERE](https://www.swellinvesting.com/signup/d4b97d) for company website.
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vote details (49)
@steemcomedyclub ·
$0.87
Hi improv, 
 
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)

#### Judges:
- @acolucky
- @amirtheawesome1
- @dandays
 
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: [Click Here](https://discord.gg/rddw2Ny)
 
<center>[Click To Vote](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=comedyopenmic&approve=1) @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!<a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=comedyopenmic&approve=1">
<img src="https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/448711994275659777/454625592675926026/image.jpg" alt="Support COM Banner" style="width:42px;height:42px;border:0;">
</a>
<sub>Thank you to @matytan for the great banner </sub></center>
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@richatvns · (edited)
$0.76
No long winded Rhyme this week,  No time... So it's Go Time for my Fun Pun:

Every one knows the king of  "Vice" President Cheney shot a guy in the head in a hunting accident.  
What most people don't know, is that it was a big cover up, the President had actually taken the shot.  
Yes, the other hunter got Bush-Wacked!

![separatorline_wide.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmTfcyxxWtPRbzsQbfdWzHvgC2z4tzXLtjWLDM8or3oxu8/separatorline_wide.jpg)

Now Rewarding SBIs,  make stupid comments and win:
<a href="https://steemit.com/steemdecathlon/@richatvns/steemdecathlon-s03m17e01-memeday-new-rewards-10-sbi-payout-holidays-this-week-lincolns-b-day-t-shirt-valentines-and-singles-d">
![memeday_tag.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmPkrnGkCWLgAxpQrHiKY5vC51Nt4Vc4KPhW36trP8HxCP/memeday_tag.jpg)
</a>

![IntroducingRichAtVNSwithsign.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmXrTEYKoSrwpvGLMLAxHskR3GJeReAFCv3gqtsTtPpXG4/IntroducingRichAtVNSwithsign.jpg)
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@pixiehunter ·
$0.04
Lol, I definitely needed that laugh. Now to see if any others pop up to top it. Good luck in the draw. Sadly my vp is in the red :(
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@richatvns ·
$0.06
arrrggghhh you just did not say that... you'll need to do Pence-nance  for that,  Other wise I'll need to bring you to trial in front a marsupial for no reason...in other words Take you to Kangaroo Court on Trump'ed up charges!

Yea I punned it!
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@freewritehouse ·
@freewritehouse is upvoting Punday Monday puns! Also please join us for more contests on our page! Become a part of our supportive community with goofy, fun nonsense!
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@partiko ·
Thank you so much for participating in the Partiko Delegation Plan Round 1! We really appreciate your support! As part of the delegation benefits, we just gave you a 3.00% upvote! Together, let’s change the world!
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@acolucky ·
$0.11
I don't celebrate President's Day like I did in the past. Things are too conspiratorial now and I'm not russian to any conclusions. Kenya understand what I am saying?

Thank you! https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@acolucky/an-update-from-minnesota-com-46
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@paul.atreides ·
$0.08
Yes, IKE be inclined to agree with you.
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@richatvns ·
$0.06
You young'ns Taylor'd that to Pierce the Hayes my serious concentration, I'm Mad, son!
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@freewritehouse ·
@freewritehouse is upvoting Punday Monday puns! Also please join us for more contests on our page! Become a part of our supportive community with goofy, fun nonsense!
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@transparencybot ·
@improv Thank you for not using bidbots on this post and also using the #nobidbot tag!
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@girlbeforemirror ·
$0.04
"...In French she would be called 'la renarde' and she would be hunted with only her cunning to protect her." 
Not mine, Wayne's of course, but I couldn't resist. If only my grade 12 exams were on Wayne's world and Adam Sandler movies, I would have aced it! 
But I do have an extensive collection of name tags and hair nets.
👍  ,
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@improv ·
$0.04
Everyone has the pun within.

Posted using [Partiko Android](https://steemit.com/@partiko-android)
👍  , ,
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@freewritehouse ·
$0.04
@freewritehouse is upvoting Punday Monday puns! Even though it's not your original pun, we honor your enjoyment of a good chuckle! Also please join us for more contests on our page! Become a part of our supportive community with goofy, fun nonsense!
👍  ,
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@girlbeforemirror ·
$0.02
I always name my source M.A.W... Well almost always. My husband and I have contention over a cassowary image taken at a wildlife park, that I entered in a steemit contest. 
He is quite talented with a camera, I point my not so smart phone! phone and... Oh my god, my phone just predicted I wanted to write _run_ . It learns from my writing. Scary, I was going to write run, cassowarys are vicious birds, have killed people. 
![3auKdMsk3Q1VSYBGu2ttF9aBYbY7VtdYzgwD61qr8yxAkMjwsYBLwR2dPHpGSA.jpeg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmbebCr4HxTnraqBbvh5Ubj82Uh1QJji9Hw6Ndwk3WVU8c/3auKdMsk3Q1VSYBGu2ttF9aBYbY7VtdYzgwD61qr8yxAkMjwsYBLwR2dPHpGSA.jpeg)

https://steemit.com/photography/@girlbeforemirror/steemitphotochallenge-entry-ornithophobia
_More shocking however is realising, it's a 3 yr old post! I'm a tired old steem engine._

Speaking of nonsense, looking at what I just wrote here, I think morning coffee is in order before I check out the freewrite. My weekend highlight, hack writing delight. 💃💃💃💃
👍  
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@dcomedyclub ·
$0.81
Hey @improv,
In an effort to try to give people more transparency and feedback on what our judges think of their posts, we thought we'd run an experiment and give people their score from teh judges.

**Your post achieved a score of 3/5.**

Thanks for the lovely entry to our contest. Now some posts do really well, others not so well, and some could use some improvement. We hope the above feedback is helpful in making you a star.
  - Comedy Open Mic Team 
👍  , , , , , ,
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vote details (7)
@paul.atreides ·
$0.08
My buddy told me that he doesn't celebrate President's Day because most of them were dirty rotten scoundrels.  He asked me if I agreed and if I had a favorite and I said, "It's TRUMAN."
👍  , ,
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@freewritehouse ·
$0.03
@freewritehouse is upvoting Punday Monday puns! Also please join us for more contests on our page! Become a part of our supportive community with goofy, fun nonsense!
👍  ,
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@paul.atreides ·
$0.12
Ba-da-bing, it's funny because "It's Truman" sounds a lot like "It's true, man" so I was able to answer both of the bloke's questions in one fell swoop.
👍  , ,
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@pixiehunter ·
$0.02
Lol, I almost used that Truman line with one of my replies. Glad I wasn't the only one who put some Nix-on Truman's name. It sounds goofy/corny, but hey it is a puntastic day, so we can all af-Ford a Trump'ed up joke.
👍  ,
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@paul.atreides ·
I'm finally able to claim my prize!  Here's my post:

https://steemit.com/freewrite/@paul.atreides/5-minute-freewrite-friday-prompt-phone
👍  
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@improv ·
At long last

Posted using [Partiko Android](https://partiko.app/referral/improv)
👍  
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