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Today is a day I will tell you all about tomorrow lol, but isn't it just amazing how small life experiences offer us grand perspective. Today was one of those days and I am eternally grateful for it, because truth be told... I needed it more than I care to admit.

Walking along what felt like the top of the world today, I began reflecting on my life - the now, the then - 2019 and pretty much all of it. Last year, whilst it had its fantastic moments was also enormously emotionally challenging for me and today I realised why. It is not like it was any massive epiphany or anything, but I suppose just being afforded a moment of "quiet" out in the "big wide world" just filled me with realisation because I suddenly saw how I had allowed myself to become all consumed by one facet of my life and this made every "other" feel almost like a burden, which was wrong on so many levels! 

I am not saying that it should have been reversed 180, because that would have proven equally detrimental -  but somewhere along the way I lost the balance and I think we all know that when you omit balance you lose your footing and generally end up falling.

I fell hard at the end of last year. So hard in fact that there were many moments that I honestly did not feel like getting back up again, and coming from someone who has spent their life dusting off their knees that left me feeling enormously defeated, helpless and in many ways, desperate.

Life is for living! Today, I realised that I have not been doing enough of that to feed my soul and enrich my world and I also made the decision that it simply has to change.

[![Quotefancy43609403840x2160.jpg](https://files.steempeak.com/file/steempeak/jaynie/zqOhXB4b-Quotefancy-4360940-3840x2160.jpg)](https://quotefancy.com/quote/1237455/Faith-Hill-It-s-not-complicated-to-embrace-life-You-just-have-to-make-the-choice)

We all get so engrossed in daily activity and mundane routine that we lose sight of the "bigger picture" and before we know it, we look again and we have lost all our sparkle... all our shine, passion, drive and enthusiasm because somewhere along the way - we lost OURSELVES!

I reflected SEVERAL times today on how my dear friend @wales would so often speak poetically about just this! A worldly traveler, having been to so many corners of the world and lived an almost nomadic life - was suddenly living in a dark little room, had lost the love of his life, his "escape" and passion (ie. his camera) and it was acutely obvious how soul destroying this was to him on a day to day basis. Yes, he "coped" but he coped through existence... I know he no longer felt like he was living and that flame dwindled.

We underestimate the importance of keeping that flame alive.

[![image.png](https://files.steempeak.com/file/steempeak/jaynie/EkhrYAxm-image.png)](https://assets.passiton.com/quotes/quote_artwork/7806/original/20180906_thursday_quote.jpg?1535738225)

There were moments toward the end of last year where I honestly felt like an empty shell. When you get to a point where nothing matters anymore, you know there is a problem. Today's experience was like someone stoked all my coals and gathered them together again so they could rekindle the heat that had been lost from them being scattered all over the place - and it felt so GOOD!

[![image.png](https://files.steempeak.com/file/steempeak/jaynie/HCkNotMp-image.png)](https://open.life.church/items/172118-instagram-quote-2-stories-jpg)

I am far from perfect, we all are - but I am willing to acknowledge my weaknesses so that I can see where my imbalances lie and begin to work at becoming a better version of myself. Today, I am enormously grateful. Grateful for all the lessons, hardships and challenges I faced last year, because ultimately they brought me back to myself. Once again I have been reminded, that when you hit rock bottom - the only way you can go is up... and up is where I will be going!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=panR4xwt0wM






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❤❤❤


***Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
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