While I do not find “foster mom” relatable to my own life situations. That right there is a hook that I think a lot of struggling young adults can relate with. With how many kids end up in foster homes, and divorce rates just those two words could draw them in.

I am rather curious about “How could I have let myself. . .” Where is here? Why should you not have been resting there? I do love a good mystery! 

The hook for me here is “two lives I was chasing” it’s how I always felt in life. Now, I want know more behind the story of that line and hope it gets answer further in the book!

There is a reason I never have been much of a writer myself. I re-read and rewrite things to death. I had a teacher in middle school share with us a book she wrote. She rewrote the entire thing a few times, and swore the first chapter a few hundred. Her final rewrite of it was closer to the first rewrite of the book then the last. 

I look forward to hearing your progress on this book. I hope you are able to find a time to set aside to keep working on it.

I need more of a hook to get me on board. The first sentence made me uneasy. 
*"How could I have let myself sleep fall asleep here?"* I had to read it a couple of times to see if I read it right. The first sentence should make me speed off to the second sentence with eager anticipation but I was stuck on the first. Who knows. I am an odd person with an odd background so maybe this is not going to be helpful to you. . . but, I started it and so I will finish my feedback. 

I was waiting for the hook to grab me and take my breath away. Where's the  danger > It's got to be around the corner > When is it going to hit me? I'm getting frustrated wanting to know why she's sleeping outdoors alone long enough to need a bath? 
You picked up the flow and my eyes were pleased to speed off  > until these words > *" I squinted, trying to make out some shapes, and I remembered how my foster mom, when I used to call her into my bedroom, a bad dream or thirsty for anything but tap water, would always claim that it was midnight"* I think this sentence is too long and disjointed. I am sure it's important. > A jem to know but it seem disruptive to me. Maybe break the sentence up or revise it.

Example > I squinted, trying to make out some familar shapes to make my way to the car as fast as I could, but my mind was not going to help me. Without my permission it reached back into my crazy past and pulled out memories of me crying out to my Foster Grandmother after a bad dream or wanting anything cold to drink but the luke warm tap water."* 
After that I caught another wave of words and everthing went smoothly.

![NIGHTtimeDriver_500.gif](https://steemitimages.com/DQmY2cpcvgn2GAUPneJBftfVFV9CdrPm9osJBfu32a87ajT/NIGHTtimeDriver_500.gif)

I think I needed more mystery to capture me and stuff me in the girl's trunk looking for adventures > Ready to read more.

I don't know much about novels, but this is what I felt. 
He found himself fall asleep where he shouldn't have. It's  very intriguing. I thought maybe he fell to the victim or he's been staking out or in any kind of danger. Then it turns out he got his bag, wallet, cellphone, and a car. So it's not that 'dangerous situation' I thought it would be. And why did he fall asleep on the ground when he had a car? If he's chasing two lives it's safe to assume that he has to move quickly. Then what made him get out of the car in the first place?
I'm sure there's more to the story and this is only three paragraphs, but it was difficult for me to set the tone of the story. 
Again, I don't know much about novels, so you shouldn't take my comment seriously. But I just want to mention what I felt. :)