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<p>My Birthday For my birthday I asked for a bicycle, an action man, and a vibrating butt plug... I never got that bike.
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<p><b>A 747 just landed at Heathrow Airport in London. After the captain shutdown the engines you could still hear the whining.
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<p>Am I in a safe neighborhood? I only see 2 stores that exclusively sell lacrosse equipment.
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<p><b>H: What is that you're having for lunch? Me: fruit salad H: That's funny, it looks like a sangria. Me: huh, weird *sips fruit salad*
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<p>What's faster than a black guy running with a stolen T.V.? His brother with the DVR
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