You are 2 Chainz. It’s 2012. Mitt Romney has won the Republican nomination and has offered to make you his running mate. This is during the Republican National Convention. We say you should accept Romney’s offer. 
Background info: You are 35, the minimum age to be vice president, you have a number one album, based on a TRU Story. You have recently been advocating for the right to vote for felons. You are generally considered liberal. You make about three-quarters of a million dollars each year. 
Caveat: You are not a convicted felon for the purposes of this round. Your music frequently deals with drugs, money and how rap has improved your life. You’re from Georgia and graduated with a 4.0 from Alabama State University. 
Romney:
1.	Sabotaging Romney’s campaign
a.	You can guarantee Obama’s victory, something you care deeply about because his policies are marginally more leftist than Romney’s. Romney doesn’t even know which policies he supports, he just says whatever his campaign consultants tell him the Republican Party favors, and he then becomes that person. He’s not going to be able to continue this balancing act forever, considering how extreme the Republican Party has gotten recently due to the rise of the Tea Party, he will eventually have no choice but to cave to pressure and advocate for things like repealing the Affordable Care Act, offshore drilling, and more restrictions on abortion. Under a Romney presidency, an enormous number of policies that deny basic science like climate change and lead to lots of people dying like not moving forward on gun control will happen. This is why you have a unique moral obligation to stop him from becoming president by running with him and sabotaging him. This moral obligation to society also comes from the fact that society has rewarded you by purchasing your number one album for you to have enough money to live a lavish lifestyle. 
b.	Here’s our mechanism for how you cause Romney to lose: You can very easily say things that contradict the party line or that will get Romney in trouble with moderate voters that will cost him incredibly valuable votes in swing states like Ohio and Florida that he needs to win in order to win the general election. Elections are close these days, and pollsters are predicting that this one will be incredibly close too, which is why tiny actions where you don’t get caught can tip the balance. 
c.	But let’s say you do get caught, what’s the worst that could happen? You could get kicked off the ticket, and this will serve your moral purpose even further. I highly recommend getting Romney to go on tv and say he’s 1000 percent behind you, and then drop you from the ticket. That looks incredibly disorganized in front of the American public, and after all the flip-flopping Romney’s done, this makes him look even more flaky to the American public. Just ask John Kerry how that works out in the general election.
d.	Also present is the nostalgia effect, where voters are eerily reminded of a previous election, try four years ago, where the Republican Party nominated someone else who didn’t seem to know anything about how government worked. Voters who didn’t vote Republican then probably aren’t going to vote Republican now, so opp is going to have to show you some reason why 2 Chainz is a marginally worse vice presidential candidate than Sarah Palin. That is an impossible burden, therefore, they cannot win this round. 
2.	Unique benefits you access through Romney
a.	By running for vice president for Mitt Romney, you can open the door for other African-American Republican VP candidates like Ben Carson. We may not agree with their policies, but it’s impossible to deny that they, along with yourself, serve as positive role models for African-American males to aspire to. This means fewer African-Americans dropping out of school, which shrinks the school-to-prison pipeline, and more African-Americans entering politics to follow you, their new role model, where they can effect real change to end policies that disproportionately harm African-Americans like the War on Drugs, including mandatory minimum sentences, stop and frisk, lack of access to affordable healthcare, and police brutality/racial profiling. In addition to this, Mitt Romney’s the literal definition of white male privilege, so if you buy our first point about how you can prevent him from winning, you can strike a blow against white male privilege and a blow for African-Americans as a whole. And by getting rid of policies like the War on Drugs that costs taxpayers millions of dollars, you’re actually helping lots of white people and women too, so you’re actually better from an intersectionality standpoint as well.
b.	Additionally, we would tell you that by choosing Romney, you can expose the world to the glories of a Romney-Joe Biden debate. Crazy uncle Joe Biden versus the Black Unicorn, 2 Chainz, on national television would be the closest thing to a nationwide orgasm possible. The impact of this point is comparable to stopping nuclear war and could easily be an RFD. What makes this point so devastating is that 2 Chainz could actually win. Joe Biden has a long history of making gaffes and saying things that make Americans think, “This guy’s really our vice president?” This creates the perfect opportunity for 2 Chainz to come out wearing his tuxedo, looking like a real politician who’s especially good at dissing his opponent. We believe that 2 Chainz is also a smooth talker who’s had to negotiate business deals and could persuade a lot of people to listen to his albums, bringing more exposure and thus more money to yourself. But if you lose and fail miserably, all the heat falls on Romney, not you, so it’s even better for the country. 
c.	Also, being a heartbeat away from the presidency yourself is awesome! You can become the most powerful person in the world once aging, Mitt Romney dies, or has to leave office due to a scandal like tying his dog to the top of the presidential motorcade. He never got punished for that by voters, so there’s no deterrent to him doing that again. So we get infinitely more utility on our side compared to side opp. In addition, you could run for president in four or eight years on the Republican ticket, where you have a better chance than if you ran against Hillary Clinton for the Democrats’ nomination in four years. Also, the black community wins when there is an African-American man on both sides of the major-party ticket because they’re guaranteed a win. 
3.	Your career as a rapper
a.	Let’s face it, the D.C. rap scene is terrible. However, we think that you have a marginally better chance of dominating the rap scene by running with Romney. This is because with Romney as president, there is less competition for you in controlling the market. Nobody would want to listen to President Romney, who DC is probably not going to vote for ever, if he does release a rap album. You’ll probably also have lots of new material to write about for your next album if you’re Romney’s VP than Obama’s VP just because Romney is easier to make fun of. However, if you’re Obama’s VP, you’ll have some real competition on the DC rap scene. On our side of the House, we can become the king of the DC rap scene if Romney wins. Or if we sabotage the campaign and Obama wins, we can just move back to Georgia and dominate the rap scene there, with no real harm.
b.	The final argument we want to advance is that you can use Mitt Romney’s money to buy a third chain! He’s really rich, and he can buy you anything while you don’t have to spend a dime. Whereas if you ran with Obama, you would have to rely on public funding, which is more unreliable and might become a scandal if you use that money for a third chain. You also don’t have to use your own money to buy the third chain on our side because Romney will pay for it. That should be the RFD for this round, 3 Chainz is better than 2, extremely proud to propose.
Tight block:
1.	Selling out to your fans
a.	You, as 2 Chainz, should not run with the guy who perpetuates the system of racial inequality in America. Most of your fans are non-white, and probably are going to hate you for giving in to institutionalized racism Romney. Giving in to the system does not gain you new fans because conservatives are a harder sell, and only alienates you from current fans due to the fact that African-Americans are disproportionately harmed by Romney’s policy stances like repealing the Affordable Care Act, not doing anything about gun control, cutting entitlement programs, and restricting access to abortion. You need fans in order to have a successful rap music career, otherwise you lose all your money over time due to taxes and your albums don’t sell, meaning you lose the ability to generate more income. 
2.	Female empowerment
a.	We think that a Michelle Obama-2 Chainz music video would be the ultimate MTV experience. We could have Michelle Obama promoting female empowerment, or incorporate Beyonce and Jay Z, who are not big fans of Romney, into the video to encourage more female participation in politics. We think that you could feature Barack and Michelle on your next album much easier than you could feature the Romneys. Mitt and Ann are less likely to agree to appear on a 2 Chainz music video because Mitt has endorsed too many candidates that have made controversial statements about women like Todd Akin, so it will be significantly less sincere if the Romneys are in the female empowerment video. Contact theory means that people will become more tolerant of the ideals of feminism when they are exposed to feminism more often. This is contact theory by proxy, and the intense partisan atmosphere of our nation right now precludes you from making this music video with the Obamas if you side with Romney. So we get more rights for women and acceptance of gender equality on our side of the house. That should be the RFD right there, it is impossible for opp to beat that argument.
3.	Convention attention
a.	We could defend publicly denying Romney’s offer, so he’ll look ridiculous if everyone finds out that he asked you in the first place to be his running mate, and he’ll look marginally worse if you deny him on national television. The candidates usually announce their running mates around the time of the convention, and if Romney looks ridiculous during the convention, that will attract attention and prevent other Republican candidates from getting attention during the convention that might be even worse like Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, Paul Ryan, or Scott Walker. 
4.	Kanye West
a.	You don’t want Kanye West as your enemy. Kanye will dislike you marginally more if you side with Romney than Obama, since Kanye is ‘the abomination of Obama’s nation’ and very much an Obama fan. Kanye has made lots of jokes about Republicans, from George Bush, who ‘hates black people’ according to Kanye, and Romney is basically a carbon copy of Bush. But the impact of this is what makes this opp so devastating, and that is that Kanye is incredibly likely to do something at any future Grammy that you win an award at, and steal your thunder for Beyonce’s sake. As a music artist, this goes against your self-interest and desire to win awards for your music. Another harm of this is that Kanye will write a song about you if he’s really angry at you for choosing Romney. Speaker, the absolute last thing you ever want is for Kanye West to write a song about you when he hates you. Millions of Americans listen to Kanye, even if they don’t listen to you, 2 Chainz, and this will galvanize a movement against your music. Plus, Kanye’s just really good at coming up with effective disses of people, especially fellow rappers.