This great post i appreciate your blog..resteemit..

Somehow... "upvoting" this post felt wrong, as it almost represented that I was supporting what you are feeling and  - naturally I do not!

Depression, anxiety and all of the above mentioned... run rife in my family. I know I have mild depression issues... and although I take natural calmatives and mood enhancers, I REFUSE point blank to even consider chemicals... as I have seen what this has done to my one brother who suffers from severe depression.... 

so... for me.. ***wine*** lol - I know this is not a solution, and on days when I do over indulge I am left feeling worse than ever - and I am probably LEAST equipped to deal with that because if my natural tendencies... but that's me... and it helps me to some degree to not hate myself and my life so much.

I know you will understand that it is not that you actually hate your life and your circumstances... it is merely the pit which you are dragged into.

I am very pleased to see that you too, despite how you are/have been feeling - retain a positive outlook....

That @jusipassetti.... will take you a lot further than you think hon.

MUCH love to you!!!! and SUPER SIZED HUGS!!!!

This great Post l appreciate your blog..
Thanks for sharing this Post....

I really enjoyed reading your article, thank you for being so open with your depression with us here in the community. Depression is something that almost everyone struggles with so you're not alone. I  would advise that do your best to tackle that illness head on opposed to relying on pills. Years ago my mom struggled as well and like your mom, she was reliant on different medications to get her through the day, it controlled her life =/ Thankfully she was able to get off the medication and now she is happy. God bless you and I hope things get better. If you ever need to talk about anything I'm here :)

It is a beautiful thing to honor the emotions that arise in yourself. Kudos to you for listening to them and being gentle with yourself. The work that I do teaches that all emotions have valuable messages and when we can learn to understand them, it makes working with them so much easier. If you're interested in learning more about it, let me know!  Otherwise, don't be afraid to reach out for support when you need it, and know that it is okay to be depressed - you're not alone.  Here's one of my favorite Rumi quotes on the honoring of our emotions:  

**The Guest House**

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

— Jellaludin Rumi,
translation by Coleman Barks

Lots of love to you!

Wow this is a powerful post - I cannot imagine how this must feel - but I love the ending your self worth is determined by yourself, but sometimes it is good to take the meds that helps you feel better - thank you for sharing this

Ditto to everything @jaynie said!

Well, almost everything - I've done the medication merry-go-round a few times for my anxiety/depression, and in fact I'm in the process of coming off the latest chemical attempt (after 6 months and 30 pounds of weight gain... * sigh * ). 

Have you ever seen this video before?

"I had a black dog, his name was depression"
https://youtu.be/XiCrniLQGYc

I think you have the, "I also learned that being emotionally genuine and authentic to those who are close to you, can be an absolute game changer." part nailed down! 

Sending you oodles of "good focus" juju, and know that there are so many of us here who know what you're going through, and are only a click away if you need us!

This is how I'm picturing you right now...

<center>https://media.giphy.com/media/fnZxLPNzfJGVmdEgsw/giphy.gif
<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/fnZxLPNzfJGVmdEgsw/giphy.gif">via GIPHY</a></center> 

Oh, and since my VP is ridiculously teeny... tip!

<p><strong>Hi @jusipassetti! You have received 0.1 SBD tip from @traciyork!</strong></p>

Thank you for sharing something so personal here. Now that you've realized that you've lost your focus, I believe you are an overcomer because you've overcome many obstacles in life before this. And you can definitely do it again!

> "You are BEAUTIFULLY and WONDERFULLY made.

Take care and much love

I feel this. I'm on a really low dose of anti psychotics and anti-depressants. I feel fine, happy and able to control my life but as soon as I come off them I start to feel the all too familiar knot of anxiety in my stomach. I hate it :/

I'd love to be pill free like you though! I hate having to take my daily concoction of pills! 

That's something positive to take away from this - that I'm wishing I was more like you! I know it's probably not what you wanted to hear, because there's me trying to decide your worth for you, but I expect that you're an awesomely inspiring individual.

I expect if you look back and think of all the people you've touched in a positive way -- you'd have a heart full of awesomeness :)

I know what that pit you can fall into feels like. And I know it's a different experience for everyone but it's definitely never a great one. I've felt that heaviness, and not wanting to do anything because it just seem SO hard. But those are only thoughts that will pass away, it's temporary. And you will get through that! 

> Our mind is like a cloudy sky: In essence clear and pure, but overcast by clouds of delusions. Just as the thickest clouds can disperse, too, even the heaviest delusions can be removed from our mind. ~ Kelsang Gyatso

Not sure if you can in any way relate to this quote or if I'm any help. Just know that you're not alone and the sky will clear up :) If you need anyone to talk I'm here to listen.

Though I've personally have not experienced depression (I hope so, unless I'm in denial now), I've seen and worked with people who do. Some of them, the braver ones by my books, tell me that while getting into depression may be unconscious, getting out is a conscious choice.

Personally, it made sense, but I am in no position to judge nor assume that is correct. I know that sometimes, the problem could be caused by something physically wrong with the stomach and digestive system. One of my friend had that, and because she refused to go on the pills prescribed to her and decided to uncover the real cause of her emotional roller-coaster, she got to the real reason. She's happy now because the tummy problem is being managed.

Anyway, I just want to say thanks for bring brave and sharing this personal piece. May you be well and happy. :)

Dearest @jusipassetti I really commend you for opening up what you have been going through and I am glad the quote by Margaret Cameron helped you and I also want to let you in on another quote which I believe will help you more. 
>Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee

Dear, I want you to know that you are so loved just the way you are no matter what it is you might have done by Him who gave his life for you. Sometimes, we want the people around us to celebrate us,give us their approval and make us feel loved but I tell you, they will not always be there but His Love is everlasting towards you, just know and accept it.  I want you to know I love you and I am praying for you. I wish we could talk but I believe this will help. It's well with you dear. Xoxo

Keep your head up!!! I know it's tough. I really do - having suffered with depression and being on medication before. Keep looking for your possitives, they are there (you just need to keep looking) ❤.

I agree with you on taking chemicals is a bad choice for healing. I tried it and it made me worse. Not a place I want to be ever again. 
I used a homeopathic kit to get me going and it has helped immensely. Vitamins are wonderful, keeping balanced with those are also key. 
You are strong and beautiful , thank you for sharing this!

I am all-too-familiar with feelings like that, as well as anxiety. I will definitely be interested in reading your post about vitamins/minerals and depression! I wish the BEST OF LUCK to you in getting back on track! 😊 

![Creddies-Huggles.gif](https://steemitimages.com/DQmNLygujgDvQM3Eg4md7m49XQnKF5bFC2MS49mwrHLwtC9/Creddies-Huggles.gif)

First, I'd like to send a big, squishy virtual hug to you. Darling, you are beautiful and a lovely soul and just hold on to these words for a while. Say, 'I love myself' and 'I am happy' a few times and just fake a smile. C'mon do it and now very slowly bring your attention to the present moment. Each time your mind wanders off in thought, return it to the present by using your breath or the mantra I told you. Please do it consistently and you'll feel better. This is what I do every time I feel depression taking over me and it helps me. Love and light.

Oh dear jusi, I travelled this road many years ago. Also could not understand it as I'm always the one to see the silver lining in any situation. I went the chemical route, it was about 3 years after my brother's suicide, I know now that's what drove him to it! 
So I was lucky the doc found the correct medication for me, but when they stopped manufacturing this particular unique antidepressant, I refused to go on another type. 
I learned transcendental meditation, the best gift ever, but you can learn any other technique of meditation, google different methods, dr Oz has a very good method which I found online a while back! Want to do a post on meditation still, but I urge you to consider it, only 15 min a day is enough and you will start healing. @ericvancewalton has written an excellent little book on the amazing benefits of meditation.
You are approaching this correctly, will be out of that dark pit one day soon, and don't listen to people telling you to 'snap' out of it, they simply do not understand this. You take care and remember you can talk to me anytime if you're feeling lost :)

I commend you for sharing such a personal, raw topic, @jusipassetti. It's something that many, myself included, struggle with from time to time but feel too ashamed to admit it. I do take medication for anxiety, but it took over 2 years of struggling with it for me to decide to give the medicine a try. It also helps with the depression and side effects of both.

I am glad that you found that quote, and that it has helped you focus more on yourself and determining your own worth. Just today, I wrote a Steemit post about a quote that I have been trying to remember and live by that may also help:

https://steemitimages.com/0x0/https://steemitimages.com/DQmagxg1wbA9L7oCtnapZZvyqvKJL9t74aaV2rfvAgT5TKx/can't%20control%20others.png

I think most people have been where you are at some point in their lives. The only way out of this is by focusing on that which you do have and being very aware of your thoughts. Think positive thoughts, and when you feel you're slipping into the negative, distract yourself by admiring something beautiful, patting your dog or cat, and get your thoughts back to the positive and most importantly always be grateful for what you do have. You have to become very aware of thoughts, because our thoughts turn into beliefs and this creates our reality. So change your thoughts and your reality will also change. I wish you well and hope to see you back here very soon with with a new found enthusiasm for life and new inspiration. Love to to always!

Whatever happens to us, we allowed it to; be it good, be it bad. Sometime ago in my life, depression, sadness, sleepless nights was all about me, i couldn't share with anyone so, i kept to myself. I saw my self drowning already because "depression limits one and then kills the soul. <blockquote>The other thing I like to do is try and find something uplifting, inspiring, happy, funny, sad or profound to read. I like to look to others for inspiration and groundinng</blockquote>
The Holy book (Bible) kept me balanced, I promise you and hope it will work for you too. Also take out time to play with kids, honestly it works.

Only by embracing what is in us we can transform and turn it to gold. 
Thank you for sharing! Have a wonderful day, week, month and year! And not only one! You are the one!