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Been away from the keyboard for the weekend and tried something that I had never done before, which is sitting down with my fiancée and structuring out our 5 years planning. There are several first times this weekend:

1. First time planning in a 5 years range (like seriously writing it down)
2. First time presenting my planning to others
3. First time getting others to comment on my resolution (including brainstorm and raising questions)
4. First time syncing two sets of planning
5. First time to voice up my vulnerable side and let others see 
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To be honest, I never had thought such a session could be so heartening. While we shared our planning, some stories that we never heard from each other popped out and linked up with the planning. Then, different personal preference, justification about our own planning as well as others also made us interact and understand each other deeper. This also helped both of us to seriously face our future as a single entity, keeping each other motivated. 

Well, after the session, there were some significant changes between us that I will be listing down below:

# 1 Able to build our confidence, individually and also together.

This is one of the most important components in our relationship which is self-confidence. Each of us definitely will have two different characteristics with a different source of confidence. In our mutual understanding, confidence comes when we have a sense of ability to control the situation/problem. Then, let us take one more step back on how are we able to control a situation or problem? Of course, it is about the capacity of our knowledge and skills. Therefore, it is normal that sometimes we may not have a full confidence when we are facing our life transition stage, setting our life goal, dealing with stress, managing relationship and so on. 

To me, it is important to have our confidence level adjust to a balance level so that we know that we can back each other up when either one of us falls. This is when we are sure to really go into the official marriage life as husband and wife. Before that, let us take some time to really focus on building our confidence together by helping each other to build up individual confidence level. I always believe that when my other half is happy, then no matter how bad is it out there, I can always find myself a comfy partner to seek for consolation. 

# 2 Able to build a sense of partnership in a different aspect.

In our relationship, we believe that the relationship being a loving couple should transcend to a different partnership as well. Ranging from soul partners, travel partners, foodie partners, play partners, movie partners, and even business partners! Thus, we are always trying to do stuff together as a pair of partners. While doing, we learned more about each other from how we do things. Seeing each other in action is the most efficient way to see the real side of our partner. From then on, that makes me fall deeper to her (oops, sweetness overload). Back to the partnership topic. Through such experience, we learned to tolerate with each other behaviors which sometimes both are very contradicting. If it is not treated well, it may become the reason of breaking up or divorce. So, our take is better to face it now then later. 


# 3 Able to identify our fears and face it together.

We all have fears deep down in our hearts and we always take fears as our vulnerable side. After listening to some sharing by some of my mentors, they mentioned that fears should not be our vulnerable side but our source of motivation. We fear thus we strive to overcome it. Lucky that both of us willing to really share out our fears in life so far, writing them down and present to each other. The session was really tear stimulating too. 

After that, we found the lightness in ourselves and a kind of clarity that we never had before for each of us. Sharing the fears with each other doesn’t mean that we share the burden, but it is more about individual perspective whereby we are willing to face our own devil, knowing we have our back cover (by our partner). 


# 4 Able to receive critics from each other in a more rational way. 

During our discussion and sharing, there were different opinions from each of us. Hence, it is important that we can receive critics from each other with an open heart. Prior to the session, we also set the tune that no matter what we do, it is for better our partnership, of course with rational justification. We are blessed to have each other able to receive some sharp words and surprisingly we do not have any fight during this session. 

By listening different point of view from each other, that makes our perspective on a certain aspect even more comprehensive. Most of the time, we are very limited in our own view and we may not see the risks outside our radar. Thus, it is good to have a trustable partner to advice and strategize thing together to make things go smoother. That will also save us from doing something stupid and getting us into trouble. 

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Personally, I would like to thank @enjiliew for having so much patience with me and willing to listen to all my dreams and accepting my ‘dark side’. Without such courage from her, we would not have reached this stage of the relationship as well. Our first time to do such a session together and we will be doing this every year from this moment onwards. 

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