Growing up pains - Coping with disappointment by ladyrebecca

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· @ladyrebecca ·
$1.94
Growing up pains - Coping with disappointment
One of my few parenting rules is *never promise a child something you cannot deliver*. Doesn’t matter what - getting a pizza on Sunday, buying a certain toy, taking a trip, better not say anything if you’re not sure you can deliver on that. Doesn’t matter if you’re doing you’re best and the pizza place got shut down because of the Apocalypse and the promised toy is in so much demand there are only a few left and those are on a planet in a galaxy millions of lightyears away. You can explain it rationally, the child will hopefully understand, but will still be disappointed.
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<sub>[source](https://pixabay.com/photos/fountain-figure-statue-zurich-2546670/)</sub></center>

Well, I failed to uphold my own rule. My son just turned 11 and, as part of his birthday celebration, he was promised a day at the pool, which he loves. That was the plan, at least, but the weather’s been cold and rainy for the past few days and it’s a long trip as the place is out of town and… naturally, I was keen on making the most of this day, that is I was hoping for a bit of sun so we can enjoy the outdoor pool as well. 
The Wednesday outing was postponed for Friday, but we ended up wasting a lot of time debating the miserable weather so we left home late and somehow missed the free bus that goes to the freakin’ place or maybe it didn’t come at all because of the weather… doesn’t really matter what happened, fact is the child was disappointed!
Obviously, it’s not the end of the world and, being 11, he coped with the whole frustrating experience well enough.
However, our ruined fun day is not what this is about. It’s about disappointment or other negative feelings and how we cope with them. Grown-ups tend to believe it’s a question of being mature enough, rational and practical that allows them to cope with a negative experience better than an immature child. Yet, I don’t think it’s a sign of maturity. We cope better with a negative experience because we’ve already been through similar episodes and we’ve learned that shit happens. 
We’ve already been disappointed many times before, we know how it feels and we know there’s pretty much nothing you can do about it…
Remember that job you were so excited about? The first exhilarating days… then you realized it's just bloody routine, the team let you down, the great boss turned out to be just a prick…?  Yep, major disappointment.
Need I mention that amazing girl/boy/whatever you fell in love at 20…? Well, that was a huge disappointment, wasn't it?
The best friend who let you down or even stabbed you in the back…
The expensive sea-side hotel you booked, which turned out to be a dump in the middle of fucking nowhere... and you got that stomach bug, too... yep, that was a hell of a holiday...
OK, maybe not all of the above apply, but fact is you’ve been disappointed before and over things far more important than a day at the pool…
I know learning to cope with frustration is important for a child, it’s a necessary life skill and all that - fact is behind all this parenting 101 bullshit, what we’re essentially teaching our children is that life is full of disappointments so they might as well get used to it. True, but also sad…

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@winstonalden ·
$0.03
Well, I'm still married to the girl I feel in love with at 19, so...

But I think coping with disappointment (and resiliency in general) is an important life skill. Anticipation is completely over rated.  It's why I'm waiting for HBO to run the entire last season of Game of Thrones before I start watching. I want to hear all the spoilers before I start watching.

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@ladyrebecca · (edited)
> Well, I'm still married to the girl I feel in love with at 19, so...

You're one lucky man then!!!
I gave up on GOT. I've been reading what people have to say about it and it seems quite disappointing...
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