To all the People with Absent or Abusive Father's. by lauralemons

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· @lauralemons · (edited)
$84.09
To all the People with Absent or Abusive Father's.
<hr />

<center> 

## Some of you I know are out there hurting today. </center>
<br>
<hr />

http://i.imgur.com/VZzD709.jpg

Trust me when I say I know. I wrote a similar blog for Mother's day but for me personally Father's day is even more painful. My father was absent for most of my life and when he finally met me he started raping me, taking photos of me, having other men rape me in front of him, gave me drugs and alcohol, and luckily stopped chemo and died of cancer once I did a taped interview with police and began the process of taking him to court. Actually, not luckily...he deserved to die in prison.

Anyhow, that is *my* dad story but millions of other people have their own. Some have a father that never showed up. A father they waited for their entire lives. Some have one that showed up just enough to reopen the wound. Some have a father that forcefully tried to make them follow his footsteps, and never accepted them for who they are as a person of their own. Some had fathers that hit them. Fathers that sexually abused them. Fathers that drank every night. Whatever your story is that is making you hurt today I am sorry. 

<div class="pull-right"><img src="http://i.imgur.com/3bTBwiC.jpg" height="45%" width="45%" alt="DESCRIBE IMAGE.">
<center><sup></sup></center></div>If you still have your abusive father in your life and are having trouble cutting them out I am sorry. Perhaps they are still connected to every other member of your family and you don't want to lose your entire family. It can be really hard trying to cut out a toxic family that is that connected. Whatever the reason that you are unable to remove them I am sorry. If you have been thinking about removing them from your life and are afraid then I urge you to go for it. It will be hard. You will feel sick. They might try to manipulate you into coming back. They will guilt you and send you emails and call you. Stay strong. If you at all can then please keep them out of your life. Take it from me that everything will get better for you once you can do it. It will just take awhile for you to start feeling and seeing the benefits.

<hr />

<center> 

##  My advice for you today...</center>
<br>
<hr />

<div class="pull-left"><img src="http://i.imgur.com/AWaX1fn.jpg" height="45%" width="45%" alt="DESCRIBE IMAGE.">
<center><sup></sup></center></div>If you are lucky enough not to have to spend this day with the abusive or neglectful father than I advise you to try to stay away from the internet where there is a field of land mines. I say you relax, take a bath, read a book, play a video game, start a craft project. Journal it out. Meditate. Maybe spend some time thinking about things and people in your life that make you *happy*. Just do what you can to keep your mind off of you father and keep yourself happyish, or coping at least. Try not to cope by getting drunk, kay? It'll make things worse.

If you are doomed to see the creep tonight then I advise you find a way out but if you really, really must then I say you power through it and follow the advise above when you finally escape and get home safely. 

## For those of you with decent fathers...

For the rest of us and for yourselves please remember to call your dad today. You are so lucky to have a dad that loves you. Seriously, it  shouldn't be a luxury but it is so call them and let them know you love them and thank them for guiding you through life with love. Don't take them for granted. They might not be perfect and you surely have your own disappointments but if they love you and have tried to do their best for you then please thank them for that.

**One thing about us children, adult or otherwise, of abusive parents is that we are tough. We got this. YOU got this.**

P.S - Sorry I am so, so late with my contest. Since Sunday is a nice slow day I will be posting the first winner. Thanks for the people who reminded me! I have serious short term memory issues but with your help I got this, just like we got this crappy day. 

<center><a href="https://steemit.com/@lauralemons">
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" alt="HTML tutorial" style="width:42px;height:42px;border:0;">
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@whiteblood ·
$0.23
Feeling sad and emotional, by reading this article. Nowadays child abuse is the greatest treat in our social culture.
👍  ,
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@lauralemons ·
Sorry to make you sad but it is a reality for many people. :(
👍  
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@whiteblood · (edited)
$0.23
Yes, I know. This is a harsh true.
👍  ,
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@jcsteem ·
Great post! 
I can relate to this post as my father is a alcoholic. Thanks for sharing & giving positive encouragement. Steem on :)
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@antoniomontilva ·
... upvoted it!
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@lauralemons ·
Thank you
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@jesse2you ·
namaste.
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@kubbyelizabeth ·
$0.22
Wow, your brave and a  Survivor . Thanks for sharing your story and giving a shout out to the dads that did right by their children. Your strength to recognize your pain and not hold it against all fathers is  admirable. You da best!!
👍  ,
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@lauralemons ·
Oh yeah I LOVE good parents. If having shit parents has taught me anything it is how valuable loving parents are and I admire them for their dedication to their kids. :)
👍  
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@doctorjohn ·
$0.22
Don't you wish you could choose your parents.  If my children could have chosen, they could have done better; or maybe worse. We all do our best to get by.
👍  
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@lauralemons ·
Hey man, they could have done a lot worse. Trust me. hahaha :)
👍  
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@holoz0r ·
$0.27
Its just another commercial day. My father died when I was 19, and it was totally unexpected. It wasn't sadness or grief that followed; but instead it was anger at everyone who swooped in to try and take a cut of the death pie. 

The worst was the despicable funeral director; next where his sisters. I'm an only child; and even now I'm proud that I chose the simplest grave marker to commemorate the burial. 

Happy zombie fathers day!
👍  ,
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@lauralemons ·
Yes, it may be a commercial day but for people who were badly abused it can also be a very triggering day. For me I try to not even think of my father having existed and Father's day and the week leading up to it tends to force images of the disgusting abuse into my head. 

I am glad for you it can be meaningless but for me it is a pretty upsetting day and I know many other people who feel the same.

I am not one for holidays in general but Father's and Mother's day can be painful for abused people even if they know it is just a holiday.
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@holoz0r ·
$0.27
There's a rawness to your story telling; and the cultural and social norms it challenges that is important.  

Can we invent a word for atheism of the father? Fatheism? Patheism? My relationship with a dead man who happened to bring me into the world doesn't matter.  I too, hate the day. 

It works both ways: we should commemorate every day, and we should equally commiserate or mourn or whatever each day. 

Two words: never forget.  

Few more words:

I see fathers day and mothers day as days to cookie cutter happy smiling images of the gulag that was childhood. 

Don't know if this makes sense but I hope it does!
👍  ,
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@lauralemons ·
Also I am sorry for your loss. :( I have seen how people are when a person dies, like vultures. >:(
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@holoz0r ·
$0.27
It was no loss! Just a loss of time.
👍  ,
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@quaintrelle ·
I humbly send you my best wishes. 

**E malama pono**
Take care
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@randowhale ·
$0.28
This post received a 47% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @lauralemons!  For more information, [click here](https://steemit.com/steemit/@randowhale/introducing-randowhale-will-you-get-the-100-vote-give-it-a-shot)!
👍  ,
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author_reputation47,497,053,264,845
root_title"To all the People with Absent or Abusive Father's."
beneficiaries[]
max_accepted_payout1,000,000.000 SBD
percent_steem_dollars10,000
author_curate_reward""
vote details (2)