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## Some of you I know are out there hurting today. </center>
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Trust me when I say I know. I wrote a similar blog for Mother's day but for me personally Father's day is even more painful. My father was absent for most of my life and when he finally met me he started raping me, taking photos of me, having other men rape me in front of him, gave me drugs and alcohol, and luckily stopped chemo and died of cancer once I did a taped interview with police and began the process of taking him to court. Actually, not luckily...he deserved to die in prison.

Anyhow, that is *my* dad story but millions of other people have their own. Some have a father that never showed up. A father they waited for their entire lives. Some have one that showed up just enough to reopen the wound. Some have a father that forcefully tried to make them follow his footsteps, and never accepted them for who they are as a person of their own. Some had fathers that hit them. Fathers that sexually abused them. Fathers that drank every night. Whatever your story is that is making you hurt today I am sorry. 

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<center><sup></sup></center></div>If you still have your abusive father in your life and are having trouble cutting them out I am sorry. Perhaps they are still connected to every other member of your family and you don't want to lose your entire family. It can be really hard trying to cut out a toxic family that is that connected. Whatever the reason that you are unable to remove them I am sorry. If you have been thinking about removing them from your life and are afraid then I urge you to go for it. It will be hard. You will feel sick. They might try to manipulate you into coming back. They will guilt you and send you emails and call you. Stay strong. If you at all can then please keep them out of your life. Take it from me that everything will get better for you once you can do it. It will just take awhile for you to start feeling and seeing the benefits.

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##  My advice for you today...</center>
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<center><sup></sup></center></div>If you are lucky enough not to have to spend this day with the abusive or neglectful father than I advise you to try to stay away from the internet where there is a field of land mines. I say you relax, take a bath, read a book, play a video game, start a craft project. Journal it out. Meditate. Maybe spend some time thinking about things and people in your life that make you *happy*. Just do what you can to keep your mind off of you father and keep yourself happyish, or coping at least. Try not to cope by getting drunk, kay? It'll make things worse.

If you are doomed to see the creep tonight then I advise you find a way out but if you really, really must then I say you power through it and follow the advise above when you finally escape and get home safely. 

## For those of you with decent fathers...

For the rest of us and for yourselves please remember to call your dad today. You are so lucky to have a dad that loves you. Seriously, it  shouldn't be a luxury but it is so call them and let them know you love them and thank them for guiding you through life with love. Don't take them for granted. They might not be perfect and you surely have your own disappointments but if they love you and have tried to do their best for you then please thank them for that.

**One thing about us children, adult or otherwise, of abusive parents is that we are tough. We got this. YOU got this.**

P.S - Sorry I am so, so late with my contest. Since Sunday is a nice slow day I will be posting the first winner. Thanks for the people who reminded me! I have serious short term memory issues but with your help I got this, just like we got this crappy day. 

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