Values are best caught in action. Parents need to be living examples of what it means to value the values that their kids learn from them. Parents must work at being kind, loving and accepting of the way kids learn from them.
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As a family system develops, values are best caught in the actions of parents and kids. Values mean different things to different people but they all have some sort of meaning. Values are important for parenting because they provide children with a road map for how to approach life. Without values and guidance, parents will find their parenting efforts going in circles.

Parents don't set values by themselves. It takes a concerted effort of love, commitment, patience, dedication and kindness on the part of all involved to establish and maintain a set of values worthy of following. There are five magic words that parents should use regularly when communicating with each other and their kids. The words are, "I respect you, I unconditionally love you, I am grateful to you, I am honest with you and I am understanding."

These simple words can make the difference between successful parenting and ineffective parenting. Parents can begin to convey to their kids that kindness and acceptance are very important. They can teach kids to be thankful and optimistic. Parents can help their kids develop healthy self image and learn to set values that will set them up for the future. Parents will have a much better understanding of their own values and how they relate to and impact the lives of their kids.

A family setting where values are implemented is an incredibly peaceful and loving place to be. Parents can communicate openly without fear of gossip or judgment from one another. Family members will feel loved and supported instead of judged. It's amazing how values make a family more loving and nurturing.

Here are a few examples of how values can be applied in our day to day lives. When a child or adult exhibits bad behaviour they are immediately confronted with an objective statement about why the behaviour is unacceptable. If it is because of values, the child or adult is required to change. For example, if your child repeatedly pulls your hair or throws your belongings in your face and you respond by saying, "It's not you, it's me," then this reinforces bad behaviour. This behaviour will continue until corrected. It is the same if your spouse continually uses inappropriate language with you or refuses to listen to you talk.

Values and conflict management go hand in hand. Building cohesion as a family is one of the most powerful ways to communicate your values and beliefs. A strong sense of cohesion and respect flows naturally when parents, caregivers and family members to adhere to shared values. People are more likely to listen, learn and respect each other when all are operating with similar beliefs.

Values are best caught in action. People are more likely to value what you have to say than if they are only reading abstractions on paper. It takes hard work to build cohesion but when done well, it can build a stronger and more loving family. Remember that kids learn best from actions and when they see that you are putting effort into being values driven, they are more likely to follow your example. This means they can set the example for their kids to follow and when kids see this they become more likely to put the work into getting their own kids to act the same way.