I am Lord Vader, Ask me Anything: Episode II by lordvader

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· @lordvader ·
$811.63
I am Lord Vader, Ask me Anything: Episode II
Greetings loyal followers.

The time you have all been waiting for has finally arrived. This is your opportunity to ask me anything.

<br><center><a href="https://imgflip.com/i/1qdn3u"><img src="https://i.imgflip.com/1qdn3u.jpg" title="made at imgflip.com"/></a>
*Hey lady with the camera, my eyes are up here.*</center><br>

Hold on one moment. My executive assistant Vera, who could be the poster person for wonderfulness, just reminded me that this transmission is being sponsored by steemit. Here is a word from our sponsor.

<br><center><a href="https://imgflip.com/i/1qdnrm"><img src="https://i.imgflip.com/1qdnrm.jpg" title="made at imgflip.com"/></a></center><br>

Now that we have fulfilled that obligation, let us begin.

<br><center><a href="https://imgflip.com/i/1qdlo1"><img src="https://i.imgflip.com/1qdlo1.jpg" title="made at imgflip.com"/></a></center><br>

# I am Lord vader, using the comment section below, you may now Ask Me Anything. I will answer those queries that I deem worthy of my attention.

<br>
[What is she looking at?](https://imgflip.com/i/1qdn3u)
[Blogging for free is dumb](https://imgflip.com/i/1qdnrm)
[Any questions](https://imgflip.com/i/1qdlo1)
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@clayboyn ·
$0.11
So you and Natalie Portman had a little fling if I recall... was she an ambassador in the streets and a freak in the sheets?
👍  ,
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@lordvader ·
$0.04
I only recall kissing her one time by that lake on Naboo.

https://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/2/2b/APwedding.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20070314000817

But this happened...

http://www.homebirth.net.au/wp-content/uploads/video/movie-birth-scenes/star-wars-3_frame.jpg

So I know *something* else happened. My mind was a little fuzzy after MY FREAKING TEACHER CUT OFF MY LEGS AND LEFT ME IN LAVA!

She was hot though.
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@paulyaces76 ·
Maybe they weren't yours and the whole saga is wrong then Vader!
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@funkywanderer ·
$0.12
What color are your underwear? I bet their plaid.
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@lordvader ·
Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual.
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@funkywanderer ·
Batman underoos?
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@timothyb ·
$0.09
Stripes reference!
👍  
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@winstonwolfe ·
>I bet their plaid.

Spaceballs reference. Got it.

![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmfGEfuAEvkqpdiCRs94YKdcdbzxnftfgGiutpmaAkmwaj/image.png)
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@inertia ·
$0.09
What do you have in your pockets right now.
👍  
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@lordvader ·
$1.09
Rage. I have a pocket full of rage!
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@winstonwolfe ·
$0.11
What did you think of this interpretation of you? 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPkWZdluoUg
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@lordvader · (edited)
$0.20
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery... except in this case. 

Although I did learn much of the history of your world from a documentary produced by this director.

http://www.hurtom.com/portal/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/6jOfKftlw1M5cT2oijL3U1Lt6Up.jpg
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@timothyb ·
"The Inquisition here we go, the Inquisition what a show

I know you're wishin' that we'd go away, but the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay."
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@jacobtothe ·
$0.08
You may also find the documentaries produced by the esteemed Monty Python to be highly enlightening.
👍  
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@batmonshares ·
$0.09
Who gave you the name "DARTH" Vader, I thought it was Dark Vader for almost all of my lifetime.
👍  
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@lordvader ·
The stupid Emperor. Probably the only cool thing he ever did.

Darth was a title given to the Dark Lords of the Sith Order, which preceded a moniker different from the birth name. 

The title was already in use about one millennium before the Clone Wars, when Darth Bane created the Rule of Two. Me am some other guy (Darth Tyrannosaurs Rex) both had the name given to us by our master when we were apprentices.
👍  ,
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@batmonshares · (edited)
k. Most of it went over my head though
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@theblindsquirl ·
$0.09
Are you sure you didn't start out as Bart Vader?

There was a kid when I was in grade school.

Boy was he ever a whiner!
👍  
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@steevc ·
$0.09
What's your favourite band or singer?
👍  
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vote details (1)
@lordvader ·
$0.14
Do you mean [besides me](https://steemit.com/funny/@lordvader/how-the-light-side-vs-dark-side-beef-really-started)?

I like these guys a lot.

https://steemitimages.com/0x0/https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CFo9NjzVAAEn7iu.png

They have written many songs about me like "I am the Champion", "I will Rock You", "Another one Bites the Dust", "Fat Bottom Girls," and "Flash" (It was originally "Darth.... ahhh.... he'll  kill everyone of us... Darrrrth."
👍  , ,
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vote details (3)
@my-name-in-vein · (edited)
$0.09
Lord Vader - 

One of my patient's is suffering from a terrible lack of faith, and I need your help in treating his condition. His lightsaber doesn't ignite any longer.

Is there anything that can help his Force to 'awaken'?

Respectfully yours, 
*MNIV*
👍  
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vote details (1)
@lordvader ·
$0.03
Tell him to wear this. It will temporarily bestow upon him some of my power.

https://s4.favim.com/mini/151124/condom-darth-vader-films-skywalker-Favim.com-3635194.jpg
👍  , ,
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vote details (3)
@deccode ·
$0.09
How could Padmé sleep well when you always breathe like thunder?
👍  
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vote details (1)
@lordvader ·
I don't recall very well but I am pretty sure she was always *very* tired. Plus it was before the "accident" (I hate my teacher so much!)

http://orig02.deviantart.net/8cec/f/2013/139/9/a/anakin_and_padme___anidala_by_starwarsowa-d65tgov.png
👍  
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@nikoface ·
god bravo I Like :)
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@nikoface ·
hee the best movi
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@zack813 ·
$0.09
How do you feel about Justin Bieber?
👍  
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@lordvader ·
At his pinnacle, he almost single handedly lead to a Death Star visit for your planet.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/5b/42/da/5b42da16d8b3ac441c3976f672e3e6b1.jpg

I'm still pretty mad at canada.
👍  
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@zack813 ·
Wow! You are genius!
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@famcore ·
$0.11
How do you go to the bathroom in the suit - diaper? Advanced waste disposal system?  I've GOT to know!!!  :D
👍  , ,
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vote details (3)
@lordvader ·
Like this...

http://weburbanist.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/ian-pool-1.jpg

Then I have a series of droids, change and wash my armor.
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@msirocco ·
hahah nice one!  I got you!
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@mozy ·
$0.10
Here are a couple of questions Lord Vadar

1. What goes ON and ON with an I between?
2. If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
3. Why is pizza in a square box?
4. If glue sticks to any surface, why doesn't it stick to its container?
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@lordvader ·
1. Onion
👍  
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@lordvader · (edited)
2 Because banks are freaking stupid and everyone should use steem instead.
👍  ,
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@lordvader ·
3 Because a square box can be made from a single sheet of cardboard. It is one of the few things your plant's engineers got right.
👍  
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@lordvader ·
4 The Force
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@kitcat ·
$0.11
Do you have an internal fan in summer
👍  ,
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@lordvader ·
Well an *external* one wouldn't do much good. 

http://www.entertainmentearth.com/images/AUTOIMAGES/CA10909lg.jpg
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@minermane ·
$0.09
Lord Vader - What is your biggest dream ?
👍  
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@lordvader ·
I dream about meatball sandwiches. All you can eat for two bucks!
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@ehiboss ·
$0.09
If you and Kirk from Star trek fought, who will win?
👍  
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vote details (1)
@lordvader ·
Let me help you with this. I will fix your question.

"If you and anyone, ever, in the history of time fought, who will win?"

the answer is ME!
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@matthewtiii ·
$0.08
Obi Wan? I mean, you got the rematch, sort of....
👍  
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@lauzy ·
Followed, upvoted and resteemed
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@kabit ·
$0.11
do you enjoy spicy Indian food?
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@lordvader ·
$0.03
I tend to avoid anything hot after this...

http://www.jeditemplearchives.com/galleries/2012/Review_AnakinSkywalkerBattleDamageROTS/Review_AnakinSkywalkerBattleDamageROTS_stillB.JPG
👍  , ,
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vote details (3)
@reicor ·
$0.09
What does Darth Vader mean? And what happens when your outfit gets itchy, do you use the force to scratch? Loved you in Rogue One.
👍  
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@lordvader ·
Thank you. I loved me in Rogue one too. 

Darth is my title as a Sith. "Vader" means "father". Not sure why the Emperor would name mean something to do with a father... but he sucks so who knows?

I do use the Force to do many things inside my armor. Many things.
👍  
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@gringalicious · (edited)
$0.09
Is this a video of you making a spoof of a little boy, or is this really how you are after the dentist?

https://youtu.be/sGTAnXqn9Jc
👍  
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@lordvader ·
I don't recall this incident, but that looks like the automobile I was in when I was with this man...

http://lawflog.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/snoop-dogg-darth-vader.jpg
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@claytonv ·
$0.08
You smoke down with Snoop?
👍  
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@v4vapid ·
$0.49
Lord Vader, what's the story behind this revealing moment? 

https://img.memecdn.com/darth-vader-angelinajolieing_c_171032.jpg
👍  , , , , , , ,
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vote details (8)
@lordvader ·
$0.26
The story is that I have great gams. And great everything else as well.

Sadly this is not true. My teacher made sure of that.

But my legs would be this amazing if I still had them.
👍  , ,
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vote details (3)
@alexpmorris ·
$0.29
that's hilarious, and goes perfectly with this one! lol

https://steemitimages.com/0x0/http://geekologie.com/2011/05/12/darth-vader-announcement.jpg
>First I would like to say that I am not wearing any pants.
👍  , , , ,
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vote details (5)
@lordvader ·
$0.05
I see you have paying attention. You have earned this...

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/XPgJezF9jL0/hqdefault.jpg
👍  
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@ramengirl · (edited)
$0.09
Lord Vader, Have you ever tried Korean ramen?
👍  
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@lordvader ·
$0.21
Are they anything like this?

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_D_jk6dnSclM/SYNOpNQA6mI/AAAAAAAAAEk/TsuF8uVDewA/w1200-h630-p-nu/Darth+Vader+Ramen.jpg
👍  , ,
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vote details (3)
@ramengirl ·
Omg!! You're awsome :)
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@mateorite ·
$0.08
What did you do for your latest birthday?
👍  
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vote details (1)
@lordvader ·
I spent it with all my friends and family...

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LvkdboAfeGs/UUITgQDud7I/AAAAAAAAF_g/Ad4nO-VN3y8/s1600/Picture+44.png

I was alone. Thanks for bringing it up.
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@royalmacro ·
wow nice memes. upvoted :)

Plz, upvote this comment & help me to win the nomination
https://steemit.com/steemvoter/@steemvoter/steemvoter-guild-nominate-a-friend-for-the-guild-vote-monday-june-5#@arnob/re-steemvoter-steemvoter-guild-nominate-a-friend-for-the-guild-vote-monday-june-5-20170605t192330296z
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@varunsangwan ·
$0.09
# if donald trump is the president of US  and  steemit is awesome then what is the mass of sun?

just kidding 

what's your favorite Ice-cream?
👍  ,
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@lordvader ·
Black.

https://ind5.ccio.co/24/g7/U3/263601384409908597lLccmAiYc.jpg
👍  ,
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@varunsangwan ·
Wow that's look cool
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@andytherbg ·
$0.09
lord vader a non-swirler
👍  ,
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@g-no ·
$0.47
When did this obsession with leather start ?
👍  ,
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@lordvader ·
$0.39
Probably right around the time I saw her...

https://steemitimages.com/0x0/https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/71/af/89/71af895a220f241863eb7eb0b146daea.jpg
👍  , , , ,
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@g-no ·
$0.37
HUM-ANA-HUM-ANA-HUM-ANA ... I also like leather now.
👍  
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@lennstar ·
$0.08
Oh Great Lord of the Sith, greatest looking and greatest clothed of all that is dark!

I beg you to bestow upon us a tiny shard of your eternal wisdom to end this fight that has led to brothers killing brothers and wives running away from their husbands!

What is better: Kechup or Mayo?

http://www.erro-shop.de/WebRoot/Store7/Shops/61191284/4B6C/2D93/38C6/504A/A676/C0A8/28BB/8BF2/90181_pommes_attrappen_lebensmittel_mayo_ketchup.jpg
👍  
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@lordvader ·
On fried potatoes? Ketchup.

On Ewoks? Both.
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@andytherbg ·
thats a struggle poutine not good
👍  
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@pfunk ·
$0.08
How have your thoughts and feelings on sand changed over your lifetime?
👍  
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vote details (1)
@lordvader · (edited)
$2.16
When I was a child I kind of liked it. Then when I realized we were slaves who were forced to live there I liked it less. 

Then one day I figured out that I don't like sand. It's coarse, rough, and irritating. And it gets everywhere. 

Then I killed a village of sand people. That gave me some new fond memories of it. 

Now sometimes I like to hang out at the beach and think of that hilarious time I slaughtered that village.

http://hawaiianseamonkey.com/wp-content/gallery/2010-10-30-vader-vacation/dsc_1401.jpg
👍  
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vote details (1)
@lordvader ·
Now that I think of it, I believe I was asked this same question on a gameshow once.

https://pics.onsizzle.com/why-dont-you-like-sand-a-its-coarse-b-its-1732801.png
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@xdark21 ·
$0.08
![vqtiu.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmU8Td2T2uahsebV6Cm6Wrn6HaL2e3qkiarb9bxjjmN3Nv/vqtiu.jpg)
👍  , ,
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vote details (3)
@marzukibrain ·
upvote and resteem
properties (22)
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@klye ·
$0.09
Would you rather drive a pod-racerbackwards naked through a corn field or do supper with that reptilian water foul Jar Jar Binks?
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@lordvader ·
$0.53
I would love to have Jar Jar for supper...

http://www.blastr.com/sites/blastr/files/styles/media_gallery_image/public/5-4VaderChef.jpg?itok=ytwuJWrf
👍  , , , ,
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vote details (5)
@stargarden ·
the... best
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@galactic123 ·
$0.08
Lord Vader, what can I do to become a whale here in Steemit? I want money, and power, and... ahem! I want to save defenseless bunnies.
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@lordvader ·
Step 1. Bow down to the Empire
Step 2. Buy a ton of steem
Step 3. Save bunnies
Step 4. Kill this one if you ever see it

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/u0Ch8cotp_M/hqdefault.jpg
👍  
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@jumowa ·
$0.08
Greetings your Darkness!
![JMW_4731-3.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmWnpyqQ5x3oh9c8JvqcBLEmMvGM9ShHZsD7LSLgXcEN4Y/JMW_4731-3.jpg)
___
I always wondered...![wondered1.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmPB9zNCbTCv7NwELn7bGDMzmJnyjx7yRfkpSqi7B6ip9x/wondered1.jpg)
___
What do you eat?
![dinner1.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmX1KgbsVcLXiHP9raHTGCWvXqVWj5RKdvqK8wSzFq6tox/dinner1.jpg)
👍  
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@lordvader ·
Usually a disgusting protein paste. But whenever I can I eat...

http://chickgeek.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/1506010_840226472673474_1951088981_n.jpg

Delicious Ewoks!

And Funyuns. Lots of Funyuns.
👍  ,
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@kabit ·
$0.09
Lord Vader, how do i get to the Playboy mansion? and have you ever been?
👍  ,
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@lordvader ·
How to get to the playboy mansion?

Step 1. Be me.
Step 2. See step 1

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/joHErLGJI_o/hqdefault.jpg

Yes I have. It was real and it was spectacular.
👍  , ,
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@silveready1 ·
Great Info. thanks for posting - Voted and Following!
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@stargarden ·
Lord Vadah ... you are pure evil!  its time for you to look at what the delicious morsels are upon the LIGHT side of the table :  feast your eyes upon the enlightened wookie![692bc61ab19101d1e8b07f5d87ef896b1cd19e48597a9745806fdb5be9261436.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmVRCEPQ8JghmEkJP5Zy8MXdxY16jhZzQwFMmkq9ZQDK2d/692bc61ab19101d1e8b07f5d87ef896b1cd19e48597a9745806fdb5be9261436.jpg)
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@jumowa ·
$0.08
Boxers or Briefs?
👍  
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@lordvader ·
Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual.
👍  
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@g-no ·
$0.46
Why did you do that cringey "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" at the end of 'Revenge of the Sith'?
It gave me chest contractions.
👍  ,
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@lordvader ·
$0.38
It was at that moment that I realized I was stuck working for that puke enduring Emperor forever.
👍  , ,
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@g-no ·
$0.36
The Butthead to your Beavis?
👍  
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@martinst ·
Nice post! Thanks. Please follow me:  @martinst
👍  
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@encryptcy ·
$0.08
cool.
👍  
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@lordvader ·
Yes. Yes I am. Thank you fro your support of the Empire. If we raise enough money, we can finally buy an exhaust port cover.
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@lautenglye ·
$0.08
Dear Lord Vader, why you always wearing the black suite? Do consider to change with other colors? Kindly reply me, thank you!....by the way...upvote and resteem for your post....
👍  ,
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@lordvader ·
Black is very slimming. I have been eating a lot of very fatty Ewoks lately and I have put on a few pounds. But you can never tell because of my black armor.
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@lautenglye ·
hahahaha....that's good reason....nice...
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@emelyeucebio ·
$0.10
https://media.giphy.com/media/11tPv7OyIbaDRK/giphy.gif
room for one more vader?
👍  ,
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@lordvader ·
Is your question "Why are you such an excellent dancer?"

The answer is because I am awesome at *everything*.
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@jonny-clearwater · (edited)
$0.09
I don't have a question Lord Vader... But if you approve of this design, I'd be honored to send you one of my shirts oh great one.
http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh522/FHPDX/IMG_20170517_154850_670_zpspqlgb4e3.jpg
https://teespring.com/starwarsiamyourfather#pid=369&cid=6524&sid=front
👍  
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@lordvader ·
https://i.imgflip.com/18g0om.jpg
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@jonny-clearwater ·
If you message me in chat, we can arrange getting one of these in your hands
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@trafalgar ·
$0.09
Have you been using the force to push the price of Steem up lately?
👍  
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@lordvader ·
$0.38
My mere presence is enough to move things in any direction I please. I also tapped into my old (and mostly useless) Jedi training to use a mind trick to convince people to send transmissions about cats and dogs. 

Transmissions about cats and dogs... 60% of the time it works every time.
👍  
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@arcange ·
You have been mentionned in my hit-parade of 2017.06.06
Congratulations @lordvader!
Your post was mentioned in my [hit parade](https://steemit.com/hit-parade/@arcange/daily-hit-parade-20170606) in the following category:

* Comments - Ranked 10 with 123 comments
👍  
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@aetiss ·
$0.09
https://steemitimages.com/DQmcYNrStQ511BDBGYCb7o97hXgLwkowb4CWHG3TCvnXgoV/IMG_20170607_150101.jpg
👍  , ,
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@lordvader ·
Yes! It is the worst!
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@joe28 ·
I have read your blog.
Amazing post brother, good luck.

Help me to share this blog.
https://steemit.com/history/@joe28/study-history-of-aceh-sumatra-read-this-blog-if-you-want-to-know-about-aceh
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@steemitboard ·
Congratulations @lordvader! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

[![](https://steemitimages.com/70x80/http://steemitboard.com/notifications/commented.png)](http://steemitboard.com/@lordvader) Award for the number of comments received

Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honnor on SteemitBoard.
For more information about SteemitBoard, click [here](https://steemit.com/@steemitboard)

If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word `STOP`

By upvoting this notification, you can help all Steemit users. Learn how [here](https://steemit.com/steemitboard/@steemitboard/http-i-cubeupload-com-7ciqeo-png)!
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@jphenderson ·
$0.52
Have you seen this lovely portrait of you an artist here on steemit has made of you? https://steemit.com/drawing/@inber/missing-darth-vaider-and-the-empire
👍  
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@lordvader ·
I have now. that is a wise person. She knew I was already perfect.
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@jphenderson ·
$0.09
What was more difficult to learn, the unicycle or the bagpipes?
http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ab/79/6b/ab796bd2da9062790de3dca59853500b.jpg

Also, are you really Scottish or do you just like kilts?
👍  
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@lordvader ·
Neither. Nothing is difficult for me... except for restraining myself from killing my boss. 

Again the answer is neither. I wore that to prove I look cool doing *anything*.
👍  
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@jphenderson ·
I have to say, those prosthetic legs are amazingly realistic.
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@claytonv ·
How do you feel about the guardians of the galaxy?
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@lordvader ·
I find them very amusing. The idea that they could guard anything from me is hysterical!
👍  
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@mithrilweed ·
I'm fairly sure no one has asked @lordvader this question before so here it goes... How do I get the girl of my dreams?
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