짠한 마음 by lucky2

View this thread on steempeak.com

sct · @lucky2 · Nov 28 '19 (edited)

$32.58

짠한 마음

![노인1.JPG](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmeFs7cMejHkB8rGQPLBAoxTGFhBESP4NoG8JpthreZeXC/%EB%85%B8%EC%9D%B81.JPG)

낮에 친정 엄마가 톡으로 아빠가 서울에 오셨다고 말해주신다.
무슨 볼 일이 있어서 오셨다는데 어제 밤에는 어디 모텔에서 주무셨다고.

"네? 왜요? 우리 집에 오시면 되죠."
"그러게. 그렇게 말했는데 멀다고 그냥 말하지 말라고 하시네."

멀지도 않다. 심지어 가깝다.
전화를 한다.

"아빠~ 서울 오셨으면 저희 집에서 주무시면 되지요. 왜?!!!!"
"아침 일찍 나가야 되고 너 번거롭게 뭐하러...."
"괜찮아요. 오늘은 저희 집에 오세요. 가까워요."
"아니다. 다음에 엄마랑 놀러 올게. 이번엔 일이 있어서."
"네...그럼 꼭 그러세요. 담에는 서울에 일 있으면 저희 집에서 주무세요. 괜찮아요."

그러고 보니 엄마랑 같이 말고 아빠랑 단독으로는 만날 일이 없었다.
막 싹싹하고 살가운 딸이 아니라 좀 어려우셨나 보다.
물론 나도 엄마랑 같이 아니고 아빠만 만나면 좀 그럴 것 같긴 하다.

(50이나 되서 엄마 , 아빠라고 부르는게 이상한가? ㅎ 일부러 더 그러고 싶다.)

오늘 아빠의 행동은 사실 충격적이다.
우리 아빠는 눈치가 없기로 유명하다. 엄마는 그게 항상 걱정이다.
만에 하나 엄마가 먼저 돌아가실 경우 아빠가 눈치 없이 굴다가 자식들에게 혹시라도 폐(?)를 끼칠까봐 걱정을 하신다.

오늘 어쨋든 나를 번거롭게 하지 않겠다고 생각해서 서울 온다고 말 안한 점.
충격적이다.

엄마는 이제 안심이란다. 아빠가 그래도 눈치가 생긴 것 같다며.
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

우리 시대의 아버지는 온 몸을 바쳐 가족을 위해 돈을 벌고 나이 들어서는 눈치까지 길러야 한다.
나쁜 딸.....

나이 드신 분들을 짠하게 바라보는 눈길을 이젠 거두려고 한다.
나도 나이가 한 살 한 살 들어보니 짠하게 바라보는 그 눈길이 상처가 될지도 모른다는 생각이 든다. 그냥 자연스러운건데.

주름이 하나 하나 늘고 걸음걸이가 둔해지고 먹어야 하는 약이 하나 하나 늘고
그렇게 늙어간다고 해서
짠하게 바라보진 말아야지.

예전에 시어머니가 우리 집에 오셨는데 하루 종일 심심해 보여서 라디오를 틀어드렸다.
"어머니~심심하시죠?"

"아니~"
아니라고 하신다.

"맨날 이렇게 살아서 안심심하다."

자꾸 그 말이 생각이 난다.
말동무 해드릴 생각은 안하고 라디오를 틀어주는 며느리.
나빴다.

걸레질을 자꾸 하셔서 하지 말라고 이리 주시라고 내가 한다고 했다.
거동도 불편한 분이 걸레질을 하시는게 싫었다.

지금 생각하니 그냥 걸레질 하시게 둘 걸 그랬다.
뭐라도 하고 싶으셨을텐데...내가 그걸 뺏은 셈이다.
그것도 운동 삼아 하시면 되는데....내가 못하게 했다.
걸레질이 어머님의 취미인줄 그땐 몰랐다.

부모님들 소일 삼아 하시는 집안 일은 말리지 않는 것이 좋겠다는 생각이 이제야 든다.
자꾸 말리면 내가 이제 쓸모없는 사람이 되는 건가....하는 생각이 들지도 ....

![노인2.JPG](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmVQuybZs3NHdGXHDUQsjhWCLuujiucEDyALTSagj7ppXF/%EB%85%B8%EC%9D%B82.JPG)

**여러분은 나이 든 분들을 보면 짠한 마음이 드시나요?
왜 그럴까요? 이런 마음을 없앨려면 어떻게 해야 할까요?
아니면 그냥 별 생각이 없으신가요?**

👍 sct.krwp, kopasi.sct, uzgo, therising, stablewon, tipu, rocky1, sct.curator, rtytf, busy.pay, y-o-u-t-h-m-e, kcc, lucky2, seunglimdaddy, jacobyu, tradingideas, virus707, zinasura, kibumh, ukk, success777, ilovemylife, ioioioioi, newiz, goodhello, j-car, cyan2017, mastertri, skymin, fenrir78, webdeals, dblog.supporter, happyberrysboy, miti, greenlatte, isaaclab, june0620, jinuking, lucky2015, mehta, hope-on-fire, girina79, ryanhkr, ew-and-patterns, pet.society, hyokhyok, arcange, realmankwon, honeybeerbear, happy-soul, designkoi, raiseup, lovelyyeon, gfriend96, jack8831, powerego, evernoticethat, kopasi, merlin7, banguri, newbijohn, floridasnail, thedailysneak, unpopular, and 127 others
👎 cresnit

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properties (23)vote details (192)

voter	rshares	pct
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arcange	44,792,389,028	3%
raphaelle	1,394,416,263	3%
webdeals	105,412,787,555	9%
kopasi	30,470,701,821	91.5%
holoz0r	4,739,421,331	1.25%
anomaly	155,413,386	1%
jack8831	34,865,035,284	100%
dylanhobalart	4,372,891,359	5%
busy.pay	1,150,208,052,730	5.53%
ramires	15,904,595,716	100%
happyberrysboy	84,379,558,791	100%
girina79	56,600,662,562	46%
mys	10,391,093,181	5%
isaaclab	75,501,909,799	100%
bizventurer	23,826,484,451	100%
shawshank-steem	297,874,354	100%
stylegold	691,107,687	100%
virus707	496,677,802,775	2%
realmankwon	41,197,325,346	100%
ryanhkr	56,030,276,050	100%
ew-and-patterns	55,851,038,670	2%
whd	6,078,895,866	5%
jinuking	69,282,086,336	100%
seunglimdaddy	643,203,610,452	61%
hyokhyok	47,177,750,640	100%
floridasnail	29,283,480,665	50%
zinasura	493,893,350,975	10%
rafalski	3,751,521,454	5%
hope-on-fire	59,904,746,562	14%
uzgo	11,655,144,364,102	100%
sippi601	541,494,976	100%
ilovemylife	323,363,289,738	16.25%
jjg	1,581,794,996	100%
ukk	458,813,462,295	100%
evernoticethat	32,227,442,616	100%
mastertri	156,489,570,948	30%
rocky1	3,055,071,022,642	5%
tipu	3,398,836,453,996	5%
june0620	73,560,323,844	5%
miti	83,638,690,448	10%
kimjh	4,161,652,006	100%
tradingideas	565,339,344,717	100%
cyan2017	183,527,795,010	100%
pharm.steemit	11,152,958,203	50%
jaff8	1,469,973,977	2.5%
y-o-u-t-h-m-e	917,371,531,650	30%
ioioioioi	321,242,742,764	30%
josephsavage	10,185,966,388	52.5%
designkoi	38,130,697,209	100%
goodhello	296,930,790,944	100%
dj-on-steem	7,056,602,490	31%
koreaminer	21,539,748,643	30%
mehta	68,442,538,862	40%
jacobyu	569,594,821,351	100%
rokyupjung	542,714,965	10%
gfriend96	35,278,592,967	100%
kyju	20,452,882,806	21%
banguri	29,546,028,604	50%
fenrir78	117,813,874,722	100%
newiz	300,289,588,196	100%
mastergerund	5,713,668,309	100%
rainingfall	3,451,977,068	10%
happy-soul	39,781,968,329	5%
onehand	1,643,832,503	20%
futurecurrency	15,662,316,352	44%
fego	5,107,626,830	2.5%
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donekim	17,722,790,934	100%
beleg	2,128,443,538	5%
jaephil	530,928,678	100%
jungch98	7,313,971,800	100%
lucky2015	68,593,087,825	15%
therising	9,189,402,729,725	10%
andrewma	0	0.2%
bigbot	23,486,742,592	10%
kcc	909,352,948,376	100%
honoru	13,300,195,301	10%
afewroom	15,309,175,184	100%
kibumh	469,850,394,145	100%
archisteem	3,544,292,881	7.5%
readygo	631,292,869	100%
ravenkim	7,572,518,779	100%
china-mobile	312,491,617	20%
luminaryhmo	889,495,718	100%
newbijohn	29,460,583,365	100%
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lucky2	693,644,777,268	100%
sumomo	4,416,723,751	100%
winston80	1,257,169,746	100%
greenlatte	77,000,696,249	100%
rtytf	2,325,381,162,526	100%
thedailysneak	28,746,982,020	75%
mightypanda	2,183,653,945	2.5%
vezo	1,492,780,025	100%
raiseup	37,430,700,271	10%
julian2013	8,961,159,659	2.25%
lucky222	7,406,720,265	100%
rideg	8,306,661,738	50%
rtytf2	7,380,334,653	100%
laissez-faire	43,945,938	100%
pet.society	48,367,806,915	2%
rnjsgosoa	574,666,785	100%
merlin7	29,644,989,446	5%
honeybeerbear	39,891,689,503	100%
steemersayu907	981,883,313	5%
bbxb1a4	15,391,466,852	100%
untold	4,488,195,414	91.5%
rabbit12	2,887,470,228	100%
success777	335,681,620,043	100%
jjangjjanggirl	5,525,282,586	100%
skymin	135,455,684,588	100%
igame	536,906,430	50%
stablewon	8,790,073,268,146	100%
j-car	236,917,777,948	13%
blender.steemit	1,020,261,129	100%
jjm13	1,786,330,242	2%
jcarvoting	1,573,471,128	50%
hjlee119	727,195,532	20%
jmlee1019	3,504,895,357	100%
maxkim	879,268,798	100%
sct.cu1	23,024,274,632	100%
sct.cu3	22,049,727,083	100%
sct.cu4	17,323,985,709	75%
sct.cu5	17,580,437,319	100%
sct.cu6	23,092,700,713	100%
sct.cu8	22,970,909,747	100%
sct.cu9	22,078,830,107	100%
sct.cu10	22,437,171,614	100%
sct.cu7	18,350,020,081	100%
sct.cu15	21,966,650,017	100%
sct.cu18	16,666,221,531	100%
sct.cu19	21,192,771,110	100%
sct.jac	1,751,738,394	100%
sct.tom	12,956,025,479	100%
sct.biz	21,020,684,343	100%
sct.adv	25,773,407,276	91.5%
sct.down	11,153,456,038	37%
mosquito76	23,461,644,990	10%
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sct.kop3	3,071,624,446	100%
sct.kop4	3,863,523,837	100%
lovelyyeon.sct	21,320,147,015	100%
matildah2	1,704,174,011	100%
feelsogood.cur	2,186,613,336	100%
hyok.aaa	3,646,358,573	100%
jstory	3,271,780,685	40%
lovelyyeon.cur	5,352,077,651	100%
isi3.sct	3,271,767,283	100%
zzan.co8	1,587,504,834	48%
sct.min	22,226,981,950	91.5%
goodhello.sct	1,505,400,043	100%
union.sct	4,342,899,586	100%
team1p	3,050,874,650	100%
sct.ref	2,328,116,732	60%
realmankwon.scot	3,190,115,332	100%
newiz.sct	3,723,939,905	100%
cn-sct	1,863,550,732	2%
windmolen	1,838,511,938	100%
freegon.sct	19,772,688,416	100%
botante	2,882,197,174	15%
cubot.sct	453,534,495	100%
sct.krwp	40,030,462,236,208	82.25%
powerego	33,209,151,341	50%
shark29	3,968,558,652	100%
csbcast	510,665,895	25%
happy.report	1,140,636,831	100%
sagago	1,389,792,614	51%
bkh1028	3,504,895,230	100%
norwegianwoods	3,406,328,749	100%
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jieuni	443,114,265	100%
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jhzzanglove	675,956,276	100%
soo002	313,112,102	100%
omg62g	145,818,131	100%
sk1456	537,046,990	100%
leoneil	1,149,702,946	5%
shaikmashud	150,673,325	1%
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kopasi.sct	17,165,746,230,990	100%
tengri	9,734,445,292	4.97%
thebilpcointrain	59,973,891	1%
bilpcoin.pay	160,964,744	1%
dblogbasicincome	362,826,858	5%
min0904	371,879,163	100%
daju060	10,538,967,388	100%
dblog.supporter	92,315,279,681	20%
sctvot	880,855,821	100%
unpopular	27,282,799,309	40%
cresnit	-9,187,458	-10%

@ravenkim · Nov 28 '19

@tipu curate

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@tipu · Nov 28 '19

$0.06

<a href="https://tipu.online/curator?ravenkim" target="_blank">Upvoted &#128076;</a> (Mana: 5/15 - <a href="https://steemit.com/steem/@tipu/tipu-curate-project-update-recharging-curation-mana" target="_blank">need recharge?</a>)

👍 sbi4

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@lucky2 · Nov 28 '19 (edited)

감사합니다~~
전 요즘 팁유 잘 안돼서 안하게 되네요^^

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@donekim · Nov 28 '19

donekim님이 lucky2님의 이 포스팅에 따봉(20 SCT)을 하였습니다.

👍 sct.ups

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@lucky2 · Nov 28 '19

따봉이라니....감사합니다^^

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@donekim · Nov 28 '19

지나가는 시간이 참 야속하게 느껴지는 것 같습니다. 럭키님 글을 읽다가 저도 모르게 눈시울이 붉어졌네요. 빠르게 변하는 세상의 속도에 적응하랴 위로는 어른들 모시랴, 아래로는 자녀들 눈치보랴 참 야속한 시간 속에서 남모를 고통이 많으셨지 않았을까 싶어서 감사하고 죄송하고 그렇네요.

👍 sagago, realmankwon.cur

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@lucky2 · Nov 28 '19

나이가 들면서 어른들을 이해하게 되네요.
ㅠㅠ
우리 윗 세대분들은 정말 더 고생이 많으셨죠. 고생만 하시고......
저도 죄송하고 감사하고 그렇습니다.

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@resteemsupport · Nov 28 '19

Hello lucky2!

Congratulations! This post has been randomly Resteemed! For a chance to get more of your content resteemed join the [Steem Engine Team](https://steemit.com/steemit/@steemengineteam/more-followers-more-votes-steemengine)

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@lucky2 · Nov 28 '19

감사합니다~

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@dblog.supporter · Nov 28 '19

[![dblog logo w white background.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmSQZFSZ1pd3is3w2HFCSFrBkEZWrRYEiJQbzWBdCY7sCy/dblog%20logo%20w%20white%20background.jpg)](https://dblog.io)
This post is upvoted by @dblog.supporter.
Visit https://dblog.io now! This is a tribe for all bloggers on Steem blockchain.

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@lucky2 · Nov 28 '19

항상 감사합니다~~

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@powerego · Nov 28 '19

딸 가진 아빠라서 일까요? 그냥 아버님 마음이 전 이해가 가네요.ㅠ

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@floridasnail · Nov 28 '19

짠한 마음이 드는 건 저도 그만큼 나이가 들어 이해할 수 있다는 뜻이겠죠.
그런데 그런 마음이 들때쯤 저희 부모님은 떠나셨네요..
지금은 약국에 오시는 어르신들에게 짠한 마음으로 잘해드리려고 노력합니다.

👍 sagago, realmankwon.cur, ksc.sago

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@lucky2015 · Nov 28 '19

특히, 딸은 나이가 들어도 부모님이나 친척에게 엄마, 아빠, 삼촌, 고모 호칭을 잘 쓰는 것 같더라구요.

저희 누나도 머지않아 쉰이 될텐데 곧 잘 호칭을 그렇게 사용합니다. 

전 일치감치, 엄니, 아부지라고 부르고 있습니다. 어머니/아버지는 좀 딱딱해서^^

👍 sagago, realmankwon.cur, ksc.sago

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@zzan.co8 · Nov 28 '19

나의 미래이기 때문에 유심히 보게 돼요.
노인분들이 자녀 눈치 안보고 그들의 인생을 재미나게 살았으면 좋겠네요.

👍 sagago, ksc.sago

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@suddenly12 · Nov 28 '19

저도 몇년전부터
나이드신분들을 보면 
짠한 마음이 자주 듭니다.

여러 이유가 있겠지만
육체적, 정신적으로 
쇠약해 보이는 모습을 접할 때
더 그런 마음을 느낍니다.

노년의 삶도 
충분히 열정적으로 살 수 있다는
생각의 변화가 필요한 거 같아요.

👍 sagago, realmankwon.cur, ksc.sago

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@lovelyyeon.sct · Nov 28 '19

lovelyyeon.sct님이 lucky2님의 이 포스팅에 따봉(7 SCT)을 하였습니다.

👍 sct.ups

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@lovelyyeon.sct · Nov 28 '19

... 작은 심려라도 되실까 마음 쓰시는 부분들이 느껴져서 더 그랬네요.. 내일 부모님께 전화라도 한번더 드려야겠습니다.

👍 sagago, realmankwon.cur, ksc.sago

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@koreaminer · Nov 28 '19

저도 어린자녀가 있지만 크서라도 자녀들 걱정할듯합니다. 부모님의 이런행동은 자녀에게 불편을 끼치지 않으려는게 아닌가라는 생각이드네요.
한번씩 부모님 모시고 해외여행 한번다녀오세요..
물론 스팀시세가 좋아지면요~~^^

👍 koreaminer, sagago, ksc.sago

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@goodhello · Nov 28 '19

잘해 드리지 못해 미안한 마음이 들때면 괜히 더 짠해졌던 것 같네요..

더 늦기전에 미리미리 많이 잘해 드려야겠습니다.

👍 sagago, realmankwon.cur, ksc.sago

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`author`	goodhello
`permlink`	q1pegp
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properties (23)vote details (3)

voter	rshares	pct
sagago	1,254,538,226	50%
ksc.sago	655,581,677	18%
realmankwon.cur	1,152,167,532	100%

@feelsogood.cur · Nov 29 '19

세월의 흐름에 힘들어진 모습에 나이드신 분들을 보면 짠해집니다. 불편해보이는 부분이 있다면 도와드리려고 합니다.
그 외에는 서로 경계하는 면이 없지 않아서요;;;;

👍 sagago, realmankwon.cur, ksc.sago

`post_id`	82,112,787
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`permlink`	q1pfai
`category`	sct
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properties (23)vote details (3)

voter	rshares	pct
sagago	1,241,522,358	50%
ksc.sago	650,535,362	18%
realmankwon.cur	1,128,206,483	100%

@naha · Nov 29 '19

그래도 아들집 보다는 딸집이 편하긴 할 텐데요,,, ㅠㅠ

properties (22)

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@naha · Nov 29 '19

naha님이 lucky2님의 이 포스팅에 따봉(1 SCT)을 하였습니다.

👍 sct.ups

`post_id`	82,112,878
`author`	naha
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`category`	sct
`json_metadata`	{"app":"steemcoinpan\/0.1","format":"markdown","canonical_url":"https:\/\/www.steemcoinpan.com\/@naha\/thumbsup-comment-lucky2-6jfzjv"}
`created`	2019-11-29 00:18:45
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`body_length`	40
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`beneficiaries`	`[]`
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properties (23)vote details (1)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
sct.ups	0 B		108,838,425	14.79%

@csbcast · Nov 29 '19

엄마 ㅜㅜ

properties (22)

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`author`	csbcast
`permlink`	q1picp
`category`	sct
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@csbcast · Nov 29 '19

csbcast님이 lucky2님의 이 포스팅에 따봉(1 SCT)을 하였습니다.

👍 naha, sct.ups

`post_id`	82,113,616
`author`	csbcast
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`category`	sct
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properties (23)vote details (2)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
naha	0 B		50,357,508,489	10%
sct.ups	0 B		108,838,172	14.9%

@fenrir78 · Nov 30 '19

fenrir78님이 lucky2님의 이 포스팅에 따봉(10 SCT)을 하였습니다.

👍 sct.ups

`post_id`	82,137,045
`author`	fenrir78
`permlink`	thumbsup-comment-lucky2-6jfzjv
`category`	sct
`json_metadata`	{"app":"steemcoinpan\/0.1","format":"markdown","canonical_url":"https:\/\/www.steemcoinpan.com\/@fenrir78\/thumbsup-comment-lucky2-6jfzjv"}
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properties (23)vote details (1)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
sct.ups	0 B		1,118,439,737	100%

@stablewon · Dec 1 '19

^^

properties (22)

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`permlink`	re--6jfzjv-20191201t141024105z
`category`	sct
`json_metadata`	{"tags":["sct","sct-kr","sct-freeboard","zzan","s","liv","busy","sago","kr","dblog"]}
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`beneficiaries`	`[]`
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`percent_steem_dollars`	10,000

@ryanhkr · Dec 5 '19

ryanhkr님이 lucky2님의 이 포스팅에 따봉(7 SCT)을 하였습니다.

👍 sct.ups

`post_id`	82,303,409
`author`	ryanhkr
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properties (23)vote details (1)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
sct.ups	0 B		954,496,709	100%