https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2016/10/24/23/00/heart-1767552_960_720.jpg
Image source:  [Pixabay](https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2016/10/24/23/00/heart-1767552_960_720.jpg)

When you are chronic pain sufferer or a Lymie (Lyme disease victim) you are accustomed to pain. You can’t complain anymore about it because it is part of your normality. By now you learnt how to live with it and how to ignore it. 

You don’t run to the doctor anymore when your joints get swollen and ache or when you have muscle pain and twitches, horrible migraines, heart palpitations and so on. The doctor can’t help you anyway! He can’t make them go away! He’s not a wizard!

Since you are dealing daily with a cocktail of symptoms it is hard to dissociate Lyme symptoms from others ones. Add a nasty flu to it and then it is nearly impossible to know what caused what. All you know is that you feel awful and you need a break from it.

The danger with blocking the pain or ignoring the symptoms can have negative consequences. You can assume that it is only a flare up, while in reality it can be something more severe, even life-threatening. 


http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0cdFgfNx5AE/TyuBzzjtjGI/AAAAAAAAEPc/Jw5CeVlQpEA/s640/DSC_0159.JPG

###  <center>••.•´•.••**THE REAL STORY**••.•´•.••</center>

A few months back, I woke up in the middle of the night gasping for air. I had a nasty flu for almost a week. It started with high fever and continued with a horrible cough, itchy sore throat, fatigue, vomiting, nausea, cough and a chest pain that never went away. It only got worse while coughing or at night while I laid down. 

When I tried to move, I realized that the chest pain had increased and it radiated on my left arm. 
I did not paid attention to the arm pain, assuming it was due either to my Lyme or because I had slept on it.

Three hours later I was in my doctor’s office, waiting for him to examine me. I was convinced that my chest pain and the burning sensation I was experiencing were due to a chronic bronchitis. 

When I described my symptoms, he checked my heart and send me right away to do an X-ray, an ECG and a ultrasound for the heart. He suspected I had developed Pericarditis, an inflammation of the sac holding the heart. 

It turned out that his suspicion was accurate. I did have Pericarditis. The cardiologist confirmed it. What he also added was that my newly developed illness was due to a mild heart attack or a viral infection. I’m not sure which one he said first. Those two words: *“heart attack”* reverberated through my whole body. 

Point is that this diagnosis terrified me. It made me understand how fragile I was. I was not ready for that. I always saw myself as a warrior, even when I had hit rock bottom. 

Although I have lived and survived many frightening or life-threatening situations throughout my life, I never felt so scared as in that moment.

Needless to add that this episode triggered a lot of emotions  which I had no clue how to sort out. The perspective of a sudden death never seemed scarier than in that moment.  

Years back when I had lost my ability to walk all by myself for a few months, I used to believe that dying was better than being stuck in a wheelchair. Luckily the meds helped me gained my mobility and go back to a so called *“normal”* life. 

At least with Lyme, I knew I still had a chance to grow old. A heart condition, on the other hand, raised new questions, as   I had a child to think about.

I left the doctor’s office in a *“zombie mode”* with a bunch of papers with *"not to do things"* and prescriptions. Once I took my medication from the clinic’s pharmacy, I stayed in the car for half an hour, figuring out where I had to go from there. One thing was certain: I had to do tabula rasa once more.

As I was driving out of the parking lot I saw the sign in the photo above "Watch for children", as if someone was trying to remind me of my duties as a parent. 

<center>••.•´•.••To be continued••.•´•.••</center>