Ok, seriously, I don't know if you've pulled off any moves since [yesterday's post](https://steemit.com/psychology/@maverickfoo/53-dating-tips-for-an-introverted-dude), but if you're that kind of dude that needs to read it all before taking action, please know that no tips is as powerful as that - taking action.
But hey, who am I to judge, so read up!
<br>
### DO YOU USE ANY OF THESE TIPS, MAV?
When I'm dating, yup. You can probably ask @deborism. She's smart enough to realise if I pull off any of the tricks (badly).
And since 936 days ago, I do not see a need to use any of these, although on occasions, I do help out other guys who are trying way to hard to get their dream girls. Some of them are in a happy relationship now, others are still hopeful for Ms. Right.
But I'll tell you, just like what you'll read in #27, starting the relationship is easy, compared to keeping it alive. There will be ups and downs, and that, my friend, is another long-ass guide altogether.
Ok, enough nag. Let's start with the rest of the tips.
<br>
#### \#17. Dress in your comfort.
Extroverted men may dress to show, but that doesn't mean you need to. They are naturally peacocks, and if you follow them and jump into an uncomfortable suit, your discomfort will show thought out the date.
Instead, go with what you find most comfortable. And remember, the girl may feel the pressure having to dress up too, and if you allow her to dress casually, it takes the pressure off.
*Extra tip: keep a few pairs of new underwear in your closet. No, it has nothing to do with your hygiene or in case you get really lucky. Psychologically, when you wear something new, there's a boost in your self-confidence, and I'm not gonna expect you to wear a new shirt or jeans every time you go on a first date, so boxers are a cheap way of achieving the same result. Think this is BS? Try it the next time, even when you're applying for a job or promotion, or about to do a major presentation. Thank me with an upvote later. :)*
*Extra extra tip: An old mentor taught me to always keep some extra cash ($100 is good) in a secret compartment in your wallet. You don't need to use it, but knowing it's there will boost your overall confidence, and not just on the date.*
<br>
#### \#18. Show your vulnerability.
Your dream girl is probably tired of "alpha" males trying to show off, which is not exactly your strong suit either. Instead, play by your strength and show your vulnerability. It's not a weakness for a man to show their emotions, as a matter of fact, most girls will find it sexy and attractive. Some chalk it up to their motherly instincts to nurture, but I don't really like to believe that because I'm pretty sure you are not looking for a mom-replacement, *are you?* #nojudgement
Just show the human side of you, which as an introvert, you don't need to fake it. *It's already in you, dude.*
*Extra tip: You know how Buddha always talked about moderation and middle path? Yeah, it applies here too, so don't go all out cry baby. That's taking vulnerability and throwing it out of window!*
<br>
#### \#19. Show that you’re thinking about them, subtly.
As you go about your day, and find something that is linked to her - perhaps something you both chatted about, or something she was fond of - drop her a text. Say something like *"Hey, I saw this and thought of what you said the other day. Want me to get it for you?"*
Plus, this is also a good way to jumpstart a chat conversation, especially if both of you haven't had a long texting session.
<br>
#### \#20. Watch your splurge.
You may feel the need to impress the girl of your dreams, and I'm sure she deserves it, but please watch what you are spending on her. Lavish gestures are great, but sometimes, it's the little things that matter. This is also to help you manage your expectations and to make sure your relationship don't start off on the wrong foot - you wouldn't want her to think of you as a spender.
<br>
#### \#21. Talk about your dreams.
After you asked her about her dreams, and if she's introverted like you, she may go all out to describe it, and usually she will ask you about yours too. Don't be afraid to share yours, even if it's ridiculous. Tie it to a childhood motivation, or a heartfelt reason. It's not about comparing dreams, mind you, but giving her insight into your world, and your vision of tomorrow.
<br>
#### \#22. It's ok to get adventurous, but don't lose your footing.
Sure, some girls may like it when you go for the extreme, and getting out of your comfort zone is definitely a good thing. However, if you are new to something, don't venture too far because your discomfort will show, and in your moments of uncertainty, you may *react* instead of *respond*.
But then again, YOLO dude, so f*ck this tip and go all out! (Probably will scare the shit out of you, you introverted guy you!)
<br>
#### \#23. There are many strong, single women out there. But can you stomach it?
There are many women out there who are single, probably because of their ambitiousness, outspokenness and strength in character. They may come in as opinionated, headstrong and maybe even in your face, but the truth is, they make really good partners - *if you can stomach it.*
Let me share with you a secret (and girls, please skip ahead to #24). *These attractive, charismatic, sexy, strong women?* They usually don't get approached as often, because most men will not have the balls to. Because of that, you may have a really good chance striking up a conversation with her, and maybe even leaving the party with her (to a quiet cafe where you can have a good conversation, of course.)
<br>
#### \#24. Do amazing shit and let others do the talking.
If you're doing awesome stuff, you need to show it, but not to her.
Oh, BTW: Awesome stuff = community projects, social causes, award-winning craftsmanship.
Yup, nothing is cheaper than having to blow your own trumpets in front of the girl of your dreams. That's just a bad t-up. Now, a good t-up is when *others* talk about it, and she hears about it.
Looks like you need to get your PR engine on this, bro!
<br>
#### \#25. Play smart; lead them to you.
Pursuing girls are hard, because they can be everywhere.
One trick I learned from a film producer was to have auditioned for the movie he's casting for. That's how he got her hot wife BTW, but of course, it went beyond looks because they have a couple of kids now and are in a happy relationship.
*Me?* I used to organize monthly meetups so I do have interesting girls coming to my events. Now, because you try to play it smart-ass and say that you can just crash any events, believe me, being on stage, to the girls, makes a lot of difference. So it's better that you head the show, and more importantly, do it for the passion and the community, and that dream girl may be in the audience one day.
*BTW, do ping me, @bitrocker2020 and @danieldoughty if you wanna be a local community leader here. :) Like I said, you will be on stage, your dream girl in the crowd, and we get more Steemians on board. It's a win-win-win, and another win when we community-vote your post. :)*
Sorry for the sneaky sell, but hey, I gotta hustle, no?
<br>
#### \#26. Chat all you want, but ultimately, know that you need to meet face-to-face.
In the world of tech, you will probably swipe right, chat her up, stalk her Facebook, before the actual meet up.
And chatting behind technology can be additive, especially when it stops you from meeting face-to-face (not Skype, buddy)
You know at one point or another, just like any modern romantic stories, you have to meet face-to-face for your relationship to progress, and the sooner you get it out of the way, the better. Stalling for too long may mean that when you do meet, you may not have enough to talk about, and chances are the date will not meet the expectation you have set based on the chats you had with her.
<br>
#### \#27. Starting the relationship is easy. Maintaining it is less, less easy.
Do know that the spring of any relationship is fun, full of excitement, bright, hopeful, sunshine, rainbows and unicorns with cookies. But keeping the relationship alive through the different seasons, is much, *much* harder.
All the more you need to pick someone you can have a really good connection with, and don't just go for a trophy girlfriend. In times of hardship, it won't be looks that will save the relationship, but the deep bond you both share.
<br>
#### \#28. You don't always have to make the first move, but you'll have to engineer the path.
So here's the scenario: it's the fifth date, and the stars are aligned, and you swear you saw a shooting star in the corner of your eye. You plan to pop the question that will make the relationship official, you dream about changing your Facebook status, you want to take it to the next level of commitment. She's the one.
**But F*CK getting to the question is hard!**
Which is why sometimes, if you play it smart, you do not necessarily *have* to make the first move, but you have to be strategic in mapping the path. Create opportunities where she may pop the question instead (and dude, if you're surprised by this in the area of blockchain, you gotta wake up. Some women do have more balls than men to ask that question which will take the relationship to the next level. I swear some girls would even say they have 2 sets of balls the other two guys dropped on the way to school!)
But I'll tell you, engineering the path is not the same as you taking the initiative to ask, because on the other hand, some girls will see that as a sign of weakness, that you are not ballsy enough to fight for them.
*My take?* Engineer the path, and if she doesn't make the move, it's on to plan B - you make the move.
<br>
#### \#29. Cultivate interests, but never compromise on your values.
Sometimes the girl of your dreams may have different hobbies and past times and interests. That's totally fine, because it means you get to explore out of your comfort zone too.
However, sometimes she may have a different set of **values**. This, I wouldn't advice you changing for the world, because adopting different values means you will become someone else totally, and if you do that, you're essentially loosing yourself in the relationship.
But bro, I'll be frank. If at the start of the relationship and you've discovered both of you have very different values, it will be hard to work in the long run. Different personalities may attract, and may even work well too. But different values simply means you will disagree a lot on things moving forward, so be prepared for it.
<br>
#### \#30. Don't be shy about your hobbies. (unless it's weird by society's general standards)
She has interests, so must you. Don't be afraid to share your favourite past time activities, even if it's a very dude thing - playing video games, watching football etc. You don't always have to be that guy who reads poetry or plays the violin.
Then again, if your hobbies involves anything that's deem cultish, fetish or just plain weird by society's standards, you may want to give her a few sneak peek first before showing her that enormously extensive railway set in your mom's basement.
<br>
#### \#31. Tell her what about her that you find interesting, except the looks.
Sure, you can comment on her loveliness, that will put a nice smile on her face.
But if you wanna put a big smile on her heart, mention her characteristics specifically that you find interesting. It could be the way she does certain things, her thought process, her insights, her ambitions, her world views, her goals.
It shows that you paid attention, and that you valued her for what's inside, rather than just the surface. It also showed that you understand her for who is, and what she represents.
<br>
#### \#32. Social causes are a plus.
Not a must, but it certainly helps score points in your favour when you are involved in any charitable and social causes. Simply, it just shows that you care for others enough to spend your previous time, money and effort on, and in the eyes of the girl, that just demonstrate your selflessness, altruism, and even leadership qualities. That's hot.
<br>
#### \#33. You don't have to be the alpha male all the time. Plus, calling yourself alpha doesn't make you one.
The alphas are known to be the leader of the pack, and traditionally, are the ones most girls would gravitate too. It's an innate thing since the time of the cavemen.
However, if there's one thing I know about being a leader, is that you must have followers; if not, you're just taking a walk. :)
Also, *"leader"* is a title given, not self-proclaimed. So, don't bother calling yourself an alpha. Instead, take ownership and act like one, and the people around you will appoint you as one.
<br>
#### \#34. Demonstrate stability and security
Having a job is good, because it tells the girl you are self-sustaining and reliable. It's not about how much you earn, so no pressure there, but rather what you do with what you earn, savings included.
If you're an entrepreneur, you may trigger some insecurities among the girls, but as long as you have your act together, you will be able to project the same level of certainty like any employed person. Plus, being an entrepreneur does give you an edge in terms of time freedom and income ceiling too.
But no, it doesn't mean an entrepreneur can score a girl better than an employee. It's more a comparison of personality rather than profession.
<br>
#### \#35. Talk about yourself, not about others.
During your dates, avoid speaking about others, not because its gossip and impolite (where's your manners, son!?!).
The date is about the two of you, so it only made sense that it should be, well, ***about both of you!*** Also, by talking about yourself, you will encourage her to talk about herself. By that law, finish this sentence for me…
> By you talking about others, you will encourage her to talk about …?
<br>
#### \#36. You can always be honest that you’re an introvert.
If point #8 and #18 taught you anything, it's totally ok to be honest to the girl that you're introverted. Just come clean, and who knows, she could be introverted too, and both of you can just sit under the dim, warm night light and read books together. *Awh….*
<br>
#### \#37. Pick a restaurant/cafe that you like.
For the first few dates, pick meeting places that you are familiar with. Not only will you be able to recommend your favourite dishes for her (or better yet, impress her by ordering something you know she will like), but it also allows you to tell stories about the menu, how you found the place etc. Great conversation pieces. But just be prepared for the sneaky question she might ask such as, *"So, do you bring all the girls here?"*
Don't let that question stump you. Instead, just be honest, while brings us to the next point…
<br>
#### \#38. DO NOT F*CKING LIE
Look, if you lie at the start of relationship, I can seriously tell you it ain't gonna go well. Lies just invite more lies, and before you say you got a great memory, trust me, those brain cells are better used for other stuff.
Remember what your mom said about honesty being the best policy? **Listen to your mom.**
On the other hand, if you caught her lying, well, you can either take the high road, or you won't like me mentioning the other choice you have. The way I look at it, if she comes clean after the lie, your relationship doesn't essentially mean you start off on lies, but I would say more like foundations of truth. Your call, bro.
<br>
#### \#39. Demonstrate kindness.
Social causes may not be your thing, but you should try to practice random acts of kindness. Be polite to the waitress, give a few notes to the band playing on the streets, help an old lady cross the road, basically stuff that will make your mom proud.
Just like how you are sizing your dream girl up for long term partnership, she could be doing the same to you too, and having a man that is kind, generous and gentle had always been known to score well on your report cards.
<br>
Feel that buzzing sound in your head. Yeah, me too, so I'm gonna stop here.
Tomorrow's gonna be epic, including 3-star moves like Date Stacking, How To Know She's Into You, and Why Winning Her Friends' Hearts are just as important.
Ciao!
<br>
<br>
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Hi there! Thanks for stopping by. I mostly blog about Steemit Success Strategies, business, marketing, entrepreneurship, psychology, community and random thoughts.
Talking about *Steemit Success Strategies*, if you want to 10x your results on this platform, perhaps some of these guides will be able to help you.
1. [How to generate at least 365 post ideas for your Steemit Life (and possibly never run out of ideas again!)](https://steemit.com/tutorial/@maverickfoo/how-to-generate-at-least-365-post-ideas-for-your-steemit-life-and-possibly-never-run-out-of-ideas-again)
2. [The 4 Big Cs of Steemit Success](https://steemit.com/howto/@maverickfoo/the-4-big-cs-of-steemit-success)
3. [8 Content Strategies to Excite & Engage your Steemit Followers](https://steemit.com/howto/@maverickfoo/8-content-strategies-to-excite-and-engage-your-steemit-followers)
4. [29 Steemit Post Types to Attract More Followers & Boost Your Popularity (Part 1)](https://steemit.com/howto/@maverickfoo/29-steemit-post-types-to-attract-more-followers-and-boost-your-popularity-part-1)
5. [29 Steemit Post Types to Attract More Followers & Boost Your Popularity (Part 2)](https://steemit.com/howto/@maverickfoo/29-steemit-post-types-to-attract-more-followers-and-boost-your-popularity-part-2)
6. [Copywriting Magic for Steemit: "How To" Post Titles](https://steemit.com/howto/@maverickfoo/copywriting-magic-for-steemit-how-to-post-titles)
7. [Copywriting Magic for Steemit: "List Type" Post Titles](https://steemit.com/howto/@maverickfoo/copywriting-magic-for-steemit-list-type-post-titles)
8. [Steemit Success Strategies #1 - The Law of Requisite Variety](https://steemit.com/howto/@maverickfoo/steemit-success-strategies-1-the-law-of-requisite-variety)
9. [Steemit Success Strategies #2 - Batching + Parkinson's Law](https://steemit.com/howto/@maverickfoo/steemit-success-strategies-2-batching-parkinson-s-law)
10. [Four + Four Free Tools to get more exposure for your Steemit Projects](https://steemit.com/community/@maverickfoo/four-four-free-tools-to-get-more-exposure-for-your-steemit-projects)
11. [How to apply the 80/20 rule to your Steemit Life](https://steemit.com/howto/@maverickfoo/how-to-apply-the-80-20-rule-to-your-steemit-life)
12. [Steemit Experiment Report: 21 days, 21 minutes, 21 posts later, PLUS an 8-Step Guide on How to Write a Steemit Post every day under 30 minutes](https://steemit.com/howto/@maverickfoo/steemit-experiment-report-21-days-21-minutes-21-posts-later)
13. [Case Study on Bid Botting - A Steemit Bootcamp follow-up module, a cheatsheet and why I probably won't use it](https://steemit.com/education/@maverickfoo/case-study-on-bid-botting-a-steemit-bootcamp-follow-up-module-a-cheatsheet-and-why-i-probably-won-t-use-it)
At least once a month, I run Steemit community events and training workshops with my buddies at #teammalaysia too. Some examples are:
1. [Steemit Bootcamp March 2018 - KICKSTART Your Steemit Success](https://steemit.com/howto/@maverickfoo/steemit-bootcamp-march-2018-kickstart-your-steemit-success)
2. [BoilerRoom 03.03.2018 | Let's Huddle, Hustle & Hack Out Awesome Steemit Contents!](https://steemit.com/meetup/@maverickfoo/boilerroom-03-03-2018-or-let-s-huddle-hustle-and-hack-out-awesome-steemit-contents)
I'm also grateful to be part of **[#steemitbloggers](https://steemit.com/@steemitbloggers)** , **[SmartSteem](https://smartsteem.com?r=maverickfoo)** and the **[sndbox](https://steemit.com/@sndbox)**.
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*Wait, why's Mav posting on Steemit nowadays?*
Well, unlike other blogging and social media platform, **Steemit** is the only platform that allows me to earn cryptocurrency when I engage with it. Yup, one Steem is about USD5, and you, too, can earn Steem Dollars every time you:
- Create content (articles, blog posts, podcasts, videos, photos)
- Upvote (like) other people contents
- Comment on other people's posts
- Have discussions, share opinions etc!
Yup, basically it's the very same thing you're doing on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc all along!
*The only difference?* For once you can earn a nice income on the side!
Sign up for a [free Steemit account](https://steemit.com/pick_account), and you can thank me by coming back and upvoting this article. And guess what, you will earn Steem too for doing that! #awesome