Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest - Round 14 | Shilling done wrong and a shameless plug by maverickinvictus

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· @maverickinvictus · (edited)
$5.93
Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest - Round 14 | Shilling done wrong and a shameless plug
When you can barely contain your heart as it beats too fast as you enter a room full of busy people who will hear your project. 

You stand before them, fingers fidgetting behind your back, your throat suddenly dry. Cold sweat forming on your brow. 

They silently watch you, in your mind judging you already, from the suit you are wearing, the shoes, to the slideshow you are now starting to present. 

![image.png](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmNkDU8p7ttj1jvf3yfZVp3UHpFyJ8dmfUy41jWNcadXgr)
<center>[From Unsplash - Hunters Race](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1507679799987-c73779587ccf?ixlib=rb-0.3.5&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMDd9&s=2f2507356905735cb7d15583034c7faa&auto=format&fit=crop&w=751&q=80)</center>

Your voice breaks, you take a sip of water and cough as the water enters the long pipe. You know all the signs of an anxiety attack coming and silently swore like Samuel L. Jackson in all of his movies. 

Okay, cool down, slow down your breathing and relax. You can do this.

Think of them as naked they say. Nope!!, so many nopes why would you want to be in a small room with five old men and imagine them naked. All those old balls. The horror!

![naked men.jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmYhW5QZ9VFUL3QUVErgLqkhWjsBxCNhsyMCRNbKjapcRT)

As the minutes go by that swig of Jack that felt like a good idea earlier for some liquid courage is slowly becoming such a bad idea. 

Well, not as bad as being surrounded by 5 naked, old men. Oh, come on enough with that!

Focus, focus on the presentation at hand. 

You cough silently and swore at the same time to release all the tension and you feel your balls relax. "I can do this" you assure yourself. 

You first start with the Our Story at a glance. Always a crowd pleaser.

![image.png](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmXjoBN9YUwv9DAAeVyUr1vxbNRrPwn78o1atHCF4Fb5oK)

You explain the donation and fundraising efforts that you have been doing. Of the importance of education especially to indigenous children in order to give them a better chance at life. 

Eleven years and nine different schools all over the country. Not letting flooded rivers deter us.

![Gifk8.jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/Qma54pwRbTvwjsnY1ehbLtZnSYZ3z2PvDMiS4iJ3bvdjeM)

nor  riding on tractors under the blazing sun stop us
![100.jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmUq3Ph3ChR76ZvjjkEqzvmvwVepcV7NUV6jZBGirPK1MH)

Or fallen trees make us turn back. 
![DQmWmxXapRK8wvf8U53JNZSXsDfoeED5kfqFc67LEutjt43_1680x8400.jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmbtcERy7FNtXJrRUF83CvtropaB5xv4U4CXwPLoQHmUt5)

Usually, at this point, I can already see some tears well but man this crowd is tough. My shilling skills have gotten rusty! 

Okay, time to bring out the big guns and show Banawen Primary School. 

> The Story of Banawen Primary School
2015 was the year that we decided to adopt Banawen Primary School. This was a school that had all of their students part of an indigenous tribe called Aetas

> The Aeta (Ayta /ˈaΙͺtΙ™/ EYE-tΙ™), or Agta, are an indigenous people who live in scattered, isolated mountainous parts of the island of Luzon, the Philippines.

> These people are considered to be Negritos, whose skin ranges from dark to very dark brown, and possessing features such as a small stature and frame; hair of a curly to kinky texture and a higher frequency of naturally lighter colour (blondism) relative to the general population, small nose, and dark brown eyes. They are thought to be among the earliest inhabitants of the Philippines, preceding the Austronesian migrations.[1]
<hr>

<center>!(https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmW66DrL5crZrwqPpJtTVBKJggWPRk4tWvTfTjrUQ8ixQP</center>

I talked about how since adopting the school, they were able to produce the first students who graduated Elementary school and have gone through and enrolled in High school. We talk about our plans to continue supporting them and reaching college and become an inspiration to their tribe.

This part usually have someone sniffing if not outright crying. My handkerchief lies unused in my breast pocket. Man, this crowd is tough as nails, without flinching or showing any emotions. 

![image.png](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmbSkzqGxVt9x4DaFqWqZ7WiuWMv4XXYFC1zJtUHXTcpgK)
Somehow they remind me of the businessmen from Adventure time. 

Same pasty skin, and eyes like dead fishes. Will the presentation be enough to spur them to action? 

I close with saying that other companies provide us donations under their Corporate Social Responsibility and that this would look good on their branding. 

I see them silently confer with themselves, their whispers slow buzzing and I loosen my tie a bit and breathe at last. It is over. 

I am informed that they would need to discuss this further and to wait for a call from them. 

Oh well, you can't win them all then. Should I have used Deadpool's technique from the start? 

![image.png](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/Qmbe1V6LWoLBrKdCSq4i8KiRE84v5sVtFDnEYuWpYdBT2d)
<center>[Source](http://i.imgur.com/zXgSOVT.png?1)</center> 

One down, two more companies to go to the shameless shilling and plugging of my project [Introducing Gift In Kind PH | Bringing hope to children through education](https://steemit.com/philippines/@giftinkindph/introducing-gift-in-kind-ph-or-bringing-hope-to-children-through-education)

Think of it for the children, worst thing they can do is just say no. 

![PM_line_2.png](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmU7HcVPyYtx7Pg4qUVupavySfkMXjWBr9BMx1PnXb21We)

So that is my comedyopenmic entry for round 14 and my shameless plug on my project. All earnings from this post will be donated to @giftinkindph 

Education is a serious matter and we strive to help less fortunate children achieve their dreams and be given a better opportunity in life. 

If you are interested in joining @comedyopenmic you can see the contest rules [here](https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@comedyopenmic/4pmdkb-comedy-open-mic-round-rules) and the current contest in this [post](https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@comedyopenmic/comedy-open-mic-comedy-contest-round-14)

For this week I offer as tribute @lunaticpandora and @glenalbrethsen go slay them judges especially if I don't win haha. 

Till the next entry then. 

![ono-communityvolunteer.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmZ4LLFYMqPM1HT19F2udK7trjQ7kSZnTd75dBYo6ZMoiL/ono-communityvolunteer.jpg)
<center><sup>Footer by @ameliabartlett</sup> </center>
<center>![MAVERICKINVICTUS.gif](https://gateway.ipfs.io/ipfs/QmX48jb7MowaLZfK35Y6Fki9sBHtB87ZhTUMV3ZYgc5BoT)</center>
![](https://i.imgur.com/UgRQJHJ.png)

![](https://i.imgur.com/FTtYkii.png)

<center>[<img src="https://i.imgur.com/oBd9EAe.png">]( https://discordapp.com/invite/9UnWgzT) [<img src="https://i.imgur.com/xrg5JN7.png">]( https://steemit.com/@promo-mentors)
</center>

![Centurion Mave.png](https://res.cloudinary.com/hpiynhbhq/image/upload/v1518480678/xel9urcw9jxb1dh5ofk6.png)
<center>![helpie.png](https://gateway.ipfs.io/ipfs/QmZSHq6N6nqef5p6WWiqjnJMSB4MJBtquCVDwtFsKWFqW8)
</center>

[Click here for your Mannabase Income](
https://www.mannabase.com/?ref=c99215504c)
[Click here for your Kryptonia access for Superior Coins](https://kryptonia.io/?ref=BW2R94R6P7)
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πŸ‘  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 54 others
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@julstamban ·
$0.11
This reminded me of when I am presenting my thesis and the feeling of holding your breathe for hours infront of the panels hahaha
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@maverickinvictus ·
$0.02
Hehhehe it was nerver wracking indeed and felt that I needed some liquid courage hahaha.
πŸ‘  
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@fabian98 ·
$0.02
I was very disgusted by the picture of the potbellied men, by God it looked like a creppy pasta.
πŸ‘  
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@maverickinvictus ·
hahahhaa It was supposed to be the first picture but having it hidden and surprising people was such a funny idea hahahhaha.
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@lynncoyle1 ·
$0.04
Nice way to kill two birds with one stone @maverickinvictus, and the Deadpool meme was sooo worth adding too :)  Great job!
πŸ‘  ,
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@maverickinvictus ·
Hahhaha thanks Lynn, it was a great idea to enter Comedy Open Mic as well as promote my project. I hope to be able to get more people to support it. 

Ahahaha thank you for liking that Deadpool meme!
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@pechichemena ·
$0.02
The first picture still haunts me... and what a smart way to shill the project ... ***respect*** !
πŸ‘  
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@maverickinvictus ·
Thanks Pechiche and I was really pleased with myself in combining a comedy open mic with a promotion of my project. 

Since Comedy Open Mic has a lot of viewers it can give me a higher chance of getting eyeballs on the project. Win-win!
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@nasrul71 ·
Haha, saya tertawa sampai membangunkan keponakan saya yang baru tidur,,,
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@maverickinvictus ·
Unfortunately, I don't speak Indonesian and I am unsure on the Google translate.
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@thehive ·
$0.02
Photo 2 should get a vote alone
πŸ‘  
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@maverickinvictus ·
Hahhhahahaha yeah it is a shock and awe part of the post that hopefully keeps someone interested enough to finish the post and read the project.
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@profanereviews ·
$0.06
I heard you on PYPT today. You're doing good work. Thanks.
πŸ‘  , ,
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@maverickinvictus ·
Thanks appreciate the kind words :) It was a great to do this kind of post.
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@amymya ·
$0.02
Funny story Mav haha. I hope your project does wellll β™‘
πŸ‘  
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@maverickinvictus ·
hahahhaa thanks Amy for enjoying my Comedy Open Mic entry! Yes I am hoping that the project goes well.
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@maverickinvictus ·
hahahhaa thanks Amy for enjoying my Comedy Open Mic entry! Yes I am hoping that the project goes well.
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@take5 ·
$0.03
That second picture has scarred my retinas for life. I will never view that phrase "just imagine them naked when you do your presentation" the same way ever again. Heheh, thanks for your entry.
πŸ‘  ,
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vote details (2)
@maverickinvictus · (edited)
$0.07
Then I know that my mission has been accomplished and I have shared my pain to the world and other people are as scarred as me when someone sent me that picture. It will haunt you to realize that it is possible to be in that situation.

That picture was supposed to be the first image but decided to have it as the 2nd so that people will have a shock and awe moment.

Although it seems most have a shock and puke moment though hahahahha
πŸ‘  
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@thekittygirl ·
$0.05
I enjoyed your humor in this post, but also enjoyed learning about the **Aeta**. After your mention of them, I read online of their origins, culture, language, and music (I even watched a video of the *agung* being played). 😊

![_PYPT-ThanksForSharing.png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmfQ6uVwByYvCEbLCS3hgVvoo5zv3a96V5B65fqsuPL8zp/_PYPT-ThanksForSharing.png)
πŸ‘  ,
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@maverickinvictus ·
Thank you so much Kitty Girl for the very nice gesture of getting to know their origins, culture and language and even their music! that is a lot to be covered.

You are an awesome human being!
πŸ‘  
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@maverickinvictus ·
Thank you so much Kitty Girl for the very nice gesture of getting to know their origins, culture and language and even their music! that is a lot to be covered.

You are an awesome human being!
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@foxyspirit ·
$0.02
Mave, what the heck with sharing that men's picture???? And wtf.... wh..why would anyone do that for a picture?? 

Anyone feel the suffocation and claustrophobia it creates?
πŸ‘  
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@maverickinvictus ·
Another victim bwahahaha I am so glad I am so glad that I didn't use it as the first image hahahaha
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@foxyspirit ·
You are evil! I like it :p
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@linnyplant ·
$0.02
I missed this on PYPT if it was on the same session as mine and I did see your name.  I had to switch back to work mode temporarily - was doing an all-nighter and PYPT was a spur of the moment idea to plug COM.

But this was a beautiful post.  I know you were aiming for funny, but it was very touching.  I don’t have much voting power, so I’m going to call upon the powers of the Team Australia ANZUB community vote bot built by @jackmiller.  Read this post you lazy, beer-drinking so and so!  See the good you can do if you’d just enter a COM contest?!

I agree with @take5 , my eyes are damaged from the second pic...
πŸ‘  
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@maverickinvictus ·
Hahaha and I loved your entry as well and congratulations on being the people's champ on that round hahah! It was epic and would have made me watch Titanic again (not really the first 3 times with different women are enough already hahaha) 

I was aiming for both being funny and inspiring. And it worked in a way hahahaha so everything I get from this round will be donated there.

Another victim to share the pain when I received that image hahhahaa
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@musicapoetica ·
$0.02
Haha! Well done, somehow that second photo is incredibly disturbing...
πŸ‘  
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@maverickinvictus ·
Hahahahha yes and it was supposed to be the first photo but I thought leaving it as a surprise would be a great way for a shock and awe hahahha.
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@sultnpapper ·
$0.02
Only imagine the women naked and you will do a lot better on your presentations, if there are no women, just say excuse me for a moment, and go get that big swig of Jack Daniels.
Nothing shameless in promoting a good cause.
πŸ‘  
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@maverickinvictus ·
$0.04
I wish there was a woman hahahha at least it would have been easier 

Thanks and it is a good cause :)
πŸ‘  ,
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