Chorley Lane by meesterboom

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· @meesterboom ·
$22.52
Chorley Lane
![IMG-PHOTO-ART--224155565.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmNM6WTvwFPtJGkokwBq5dU1PLLAyJvv7EsEpUggcHfTCE/IMG-PHOTO-ART--224155565.jpg)

*This is a most splendid reworking of a crucial time in the early period of parenting. Were I to know the joys to come, perhaps I would not have been so keen to visit... Chorley Lane...*

----

The alarm on my phone buzzed and played some *Zelda-esque* tune for the forty millionth time in a row.

I fumbled it off the bedside table and onto the floor, then, huffing like a small child denied ice-cream on a Summer's day, I grumpily leaned over to pick it up. 

I couldn't believe it. It was time to get up. Again.

The little boom shifted slightly. He was snoring soundly as if he hadn't been up half the night shouting like a mad drunk person. 

![ghslrv_ah_20_20d.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmUH9PDLdmipyscXCEmawuhZqDwrbP2RUtLfXebesCXCz7/ghslrv_ah_20_20d.jpg)

When he wasn't shouting he was shitting himself. So yes, completely acting like a mad drunk.

The good lady was snoring softly; the little lady had decided to join in the fun at some point during the night and was taking up two thirds of our king size bed by sleeping in a starfish position. 

![ghslsgjn.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmc1fbVztGS6ty5LNjCBhbSMex8VgASYxqZrjFdBCnVRbo/ghslsgjn.jpg)

With the Good lady, who seemed to be imagining she was competing in the Track and Field and the little lady the spread-eagled octopus, I was left perched on a narrow strip of mattress about 2 inches wide. 

I was a tad grumpy to say the least. 

The shower helped slightly. I went downstairs and racked up a coffee hoping for some quiet time to contemplate the futility of existence and the folly of those who decide to become parents. 

![ghslsgjn_20180423172129120.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmP2g2it6gQaZcJW58kev3PDNA5E7T3Sq8ReTxPkh2xPjG/ghslsgjn_20180423172129120.jpg)

The door swung open and the good lady entered the room. 

*Oh god, you wouldn't believe how tired I am?*

She said amiably. 

My face twitched as if devils were fighting under my skin. 

*I am tired too, it was a rough night.*

She flinched as if I was waving my sexy banana in her face. 

![ghslsgjn_20180423173414982.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmX32WHkW2GdXfke1QSsbUNRvasEG2vyycT65oWAJaL6Dm/ghslsgjn_20180423173414982.jpg)

*Well, I have been up since five o'clock.*

She claimed with a wild look in her eye.

*Hmm, you were sleeping when I woke up and I was up half the night.*

I replied, like she was a baker with filth-encrusted hands attempting to sell me a loaf. 

She closed her eyes and breathed deeply in through her nose as if dealing with an imbecile. 

*I have it worse than you do, I am the one feeding him all through the night. You just have to change some nappies.*

She glared at me. Her power play delivered. Obviously the battle won and I, her opponent, suitably vanquished. 

![ghslsgjn_20180423173508235.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmVCZWWdoQRDiQBsttbG3FacLu6xRDS76YLgDQBaGFatvc/ghslsgjn_20180423173508235.jpg)

I cocked my head to one side. 

*Listen lady. I don't think you quite understand... I certainly don't expect to be woken every night by a squalling baby.*

I smiled in a placating way as I continued.

*Don't you understand...? I have done my part.*

There was a frosty silence. The good lady took another deep breath through her nostrils, this time she was more akin to a bull before it gored a matador to death. 

*Your part?*

She said in a flat and dangerous tone.

I gestured grandly.

*Yes darling. My part. You know? The bit where I __spegged__ my muck up __Chorley Lane?__*

The good lady looked at me aghast. 

I nodded with my fine handsome head. 

*I mean, I think we can all agree that this fellow has more than done his __'bit'__ for the team.*

For a brief second the good lady's eyes blazed with nuclear rage then she shook her head.

*It's a good job I know you are joking.*

She muttered darkly.

I gave her a wink, then went off to pour us both some much needed coffee.
👍  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 268 others
👎  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 32 others
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vote details (428)
@cheetah ·
Hi! Did you know that steemit.com is now censoring users and posts based on their opinions?
 All the posts of these users are gone!
https://github.com/steemit/condenser/commit/3394af78127bdd8d037c2d49983b7b9491397296 

 Here's a list of some banned users:
```'roelandp', 'blocktrades', 'anyx', 'ausbitbank', 'gtg', 'themarkymark', 'lukestokes.mhth', 'netuoso', 'innerhive'```
See anyone you recognize? There could be more, they also have a remote IP ban list.

Will you be censored next?
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
I must say, it is a nice experience when you see Cheetah and it is not to slap you with the iron hammer!
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@leslierevales ·
haha yes but still I'm curious to what's really going on 😅😅 Can you give me a heads up to what cheetah is doing nowadays?
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@jacobtothe ·
$0.04
You do live a dangerous and wild life. Has Mad Max post-apocalyptic mayhem descended upon Scotland yet? It would be nothing compared to the day the Good Lady doesn't realize you're joking.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
The thing is, I wasnt entirely joking..  :0FlD

And yes, the days of doom address upon us here. We aren't officially in lockdown but we aren't going out, shops have no food, people flinch if you sniff. Mad times! It's our affecting you there?
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@jacobtothe · (edited)
I did make a [journey into the plague wastelands](https://steempeak.com/life/@jacobtothe/into-the-plague-wastelands) a few days ago, and life is moving along, just at a much slower pace.

I still have a hunch COVID19 has been in the wild all winter, and this is all a waste of time. I know a lot of people who already had a foul flu-like ailment that shared all the described symptoms. I had it myself. But who knows? No one is testing for that.

Meanwhile, the libraries are all closed. No work. but they say we'll get paid anyway. I suppose since people are getting taxed anyway, it makes sense. I say instead of handing out checks, why not declare a tax holiday instead? It's not like the budget matters to DC or the state capitol anyway.

<center>[![Hive Signature Bar.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/jacobtothe/o11Ouip4-Hive20Signature20Bar.png)](https://hive.blog/@jacobtothe)</center>
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@abh12345 ·
$0.03
I've heard of Smeg but Chorley Lane is a new one!

Is it a single or dual carriage way sir?

👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
Single carriageway but it has got a weight limit!! :0D
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@abh12345 ·
haha :D

I've imposed a few weight limits in my time - seems most roads are good to go these days though :O
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@tempravis ·
ты педрила. помойка ебаная. уборщица.
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@eii ·
!shop
$trdo
!BEER
for you
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@galenkp ·
$0.04
I've got that same shirt, but don't wear it with as much impact as does the Boom. Lol.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
The chicks are saying different! They be saying, *no one wears that shit like galen wear dat shit!*
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@galenkp ·
>The chicks are saying different! They be saying, no one wears that shit like Galen wear dat shit!

They be beggin'...But they know the G-dog only has eyes for one lass...His *Faith.*

<sub>Still, they're only human and one can't blame them for wanting what they can't have.</sub>

Lol.

Hope you're good Boom.
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@len.george ·
A word of wisdom from the old to those who would like to grow old.

Don't say it out loud, it will be remembered and mumble mumble years later it will be repeated, word perfect, back at you.

Live Longer, say it to yourself.
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@ryivhnn ·
Lucky you got a good-natured partner, J would only try something like this on me if he was well out of strike range with a clear escape route and getaway vehicle ready to go XD

<center>https://technonaturalist.net/sites/default/files/styles/sensible_display/public/art/2020/03/gone-to-hive.png?itok=nPvVLCLj</center>
<center><sup>just buzzing around here for a bit more as I miss some of you ;D</sup></center>
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@meesterboom ·
I love your footer!!

I like to push it as much as I can!

I'm hanging about slightly till my power down ends :0)
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@ryivhnn ·
Thanks XD 

<sub>was a 5min job >_></sub>

Same but because I started after the fork I'm here for another ages :)
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@alishi ·
Good thing she knows you, you may end up loosing the part that did a good job LOL
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total_payout_value0.000 SBD
curator_payout_value0.000 SBD
pending_payout_value0.000 SBD
promoted0.000 SBD
body_length81
author_reputation80,044,838,613,589
root_title"Chorley Lane"
beneficiaries[]
max_accepted_payout1,000,000.000 SBD
percent_steem_dollars10,000