Back Fat by meesterboom

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· @meesterboom ·
$19.10
Back Fat
![IMG-PHOTO-ART-1916801391.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmXVPyyB4nCLMGt5z2KgWZzdYVazkD6aFmQDbAipTfyvBq/IMG-PHOTO-ART-1916801391.jpg)

*Daddy-Bear, can you help me with my button?*

The Good Lady called from the bedroom.

*Button?!* my ears perked up and my one-eyed salamander huffed softly in its slumber. 

I flew into the bedroom like one of those runners with the metal ski-feet. I knew what helping with a button meant. Oh yes indeed, it looked like it was time to *hide the purple monkey.* 

I stopped dead. 

The Good Lady was standing before me with a new dress on. Her arms were all contorted up around her neck and she looked for all the world like a bewildered Octopus. 

Not quite the *sexy sexy* vibe I was expecting.

*Madame wished for some help with her... button?*

I stood slightly sidewards in a way that I hope emphasised my *Silent Bob.*

The Good Lady stopped wrestling with her dress and shot me a look. 

*Not that kind of button you mad diddy. The button on this dress, I can't quite reach it. It's the new one that arrived yesterday and am trying it on.*

She turned her back to me and presented her button. 

Sadly, it truly was the button on her dress up at her neck. With a sad chuffing noise, I moved in and deftly fastened her up.

The Good Lady turned and frowned, shoogling her shoulders back and forth. 

*Hmmph. That's annoying.*

She grumbled, swinging her upper arms about as if wading through heavy water.

*What is? It looks very fetching on you?*

I said with a flirty tip of the head.

*This...*

She writhed around a bit.

*It fits really well everywhere except round my ribs. It feels too tight there. Bugger, I will have to send it back.*

She sighed. 

*Is it definitely the right size?*

I asked, throwing my gargantuan intellect into the fray.

The *Good Lady* flared her nostrils and gave me a *jaggy* look.

*I think I know my own size Daddy-Bear, thank you very much. It is definitely the right size but I think it must be the way it is made, it fits perfectly everywhere except around my ribs and its not as if I have fat around my ribs. So, it is just badly made I think.*

She started to turn, lifting her hair so I could get the button.

*Back fat.*

I said matter of factly.

She halted and slowly turned back to face me, her face was a weird flushed colour, like what I imagine puce to be even though I have literally no idea what puce is.

*What. Did. You. Say?*

She gritted out through suddenly vicious-looking teeth.

*Back fat. See, it's simple. You are right, of course you don't get fat on your ribs. So it's back fat. That's all.*

I smiled brightly, like a fool walking a labrador that has just eaten another dog's shit

*Pardon?*

Her eyes sparked like fire in a blackened pot.

*Back fat!*

I reached out a hand to poke at her back which was swiftly batted away.

*Daddy-Bear, you know the help I needed with the button?*

The Good Lady placed a hand on my chest and started nudging me toward the door.

*Yes?*

She got me to the door and gave me a decisive shove outward.

*You won't have to worry about helping with my button for a very long time.*

She closed the door.

Oops
👍  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 226 others
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vote details (290)
@meesterboom ·
Spread on the twitters like butter on a pony!

https://twitter.com/meesterboom/status/1231574783982284800?s=09
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@abh12345 ·
$0.03
Silent bob could well be unemployed for a little while as the foamy beer seems to have gone to the other head today - big mistake meesterboom!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
My head is cloudy dammit!! My usual quick wittedness is missing, yeek!!! :0D
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@slobberchops ·
$0.03
Ha..., you better hope she doesn't read this one... I see the back fat every day!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
$0.04
Haha, I am gonna show her, once the heat has died down a tad!!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@slobberchops ·
Do you really think that wise? The '*do I look fat in this?*' is a routine question!

You have to answer in the same way every time regardless of opinion.
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@smasssh ·
$0.03
I guess that means the little Booms have to wait a little longer for a another cute brother or sister ...
Or was it for that reason on purpose? lol.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
$0.04
Lolz, they world have to wait forever for that. My sanity couldn't take another!!! Maybe it's my subconscious defending me :0D
👍  
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vote details (1)
@smasssh ·
Hahaha. Right! 
Besides that, with all of those horny snails the house will soon be overcrowded anyway ....
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@wakeupkitty ·
$0.03
Who knows a zipper will help. Thank you for the great read and good laugh. 
😁💕
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@meesterboom · (edited)
You're welcome! I think a zip might be the best choice in future!!!

!ENGAGE 20
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@wakeupkitty ·
$0.04
It covers up the back fat better... Unless it is stuck between the zipper. 🤐 Thank you for the engage/gift. 💕
👍  
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vote details (1)
@misterengagement ·
<center><div class="center">https://steemitimages.com/0x0/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/50x50/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmdHfkhCPGYcfUqZqT4Br3nsmCpeVPj1BcLoepVX2PYeAE/engagetoken.png/ </div><br><br> @wakeupkitty you have received `20 ENGAGE` from @meesterboom!<br>View and trade the tokens on [Steem Engine](https://steem-engine.com?p=market&t=ENGAGE).</center><br><hr><center><sup>This tip bot is powered by witness <a href="https://untersatz.steem.design">untersatz</a>!</sup></center>
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@wakeupkitty ·
Thank you very much. I appreciate it. 💕
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@davedickeyyall ·
$0.03
Lmfao.. just be grateful you didn't refer to it as bacon 😂🍺 !BEER
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
$0.02
Back bacon!!! I would be dead!! :0)
👍  
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@davedickeyyall ·
I doubt there'd be any death.. but also no button
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@beerlover ·
<div class='pull-right'>https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmaHThyECGhEx8tSfHZbiMFRNYjJ35K92cDgiJjkzBUaJo/One%20sip%20of%20BEER%20for%20you.gif<p><sup><a href='https://steem-engine.com/?p=market&t=BEER'>View or trade </a> <code>BEER</code>.</sup></p></div><center><br> <p> Hey @meesterboom, here is a little bit of <code>BEER</code> from @davedickeyyall for you. Enjoy it!</p> <p>Learn how to <a href='https://steemit.com/beer/@beerlover/what-is-proof-of-stake-with-beer'>earn FREE BEER each day </a> by staking.</p> </center><div></div>
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@jaynie ·
$0.04
hahahaha!!! Oops indeed! lol! Best you do some serious sucking up after that faux pas LOL
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
I am a master of that as well as getting myself into a predicament! :OD
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@jaynie ·
Just as well! lol - good luck with damage control haha!!!
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@awake1inadream ·
Hahah that’s why I’m a VELCRO man!!!😂

Posted using [Partiko iOS](https://partiko.app/referral/awake1inadream)
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
It does do the job! :O)
👍  
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@galenkp ·
Fuck it man, I thought you were *smarter than that*...One never mentions such things. You're still my hero but *dang it man*, you said <sub>back fat</sub> out loud and within earshot of the good lady? 

I'll not be reading this one to my wife in case my own good lady punishes *me for your* comment. Lol.
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@meesterboom ·
Oh man, I said it. It's like something was speaking through me. I couldn't stop even though a part of me was screaming, *you fool!!!!*

Fortunately she is laughing now, might be the wine but hey, whatever works!
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@galenkp ·
$0.02
Haha, more wine more wine...It could be button time after all! 

Don't tell her I said that. Lol.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@dswigle ·
$0.04
What part of the word *fat*  sounded good to you? Perhaps when you get your foot out of your mouth, you can manage to fix her button.

I adore you, Boom, but, you are such a man sometimes.  :)

Next time, think with your instincts instead of your head. It makes your brain weak. 

Upped and Steemed

!tip
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
Hahahahah, thats the thing, sometimes I think I am being clever and I am actually being th eopposite. Lol, it was classic daftness.

Must think with instinct!!!
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@dswigle ·
Oops! Perhaps not! What waa I thinking?
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@tipu ·
&#127873; Hi @meesterboom! You have received 0.1 STEEM tip from @dswigle!<br><p><strong>Check out <a href=https://www.steempeak.com/@dswigle>@dswigle blog here</a> and follow if you like the content :)</strong></p><p><a href="https://steempeak.com/steemit/@tipu/tipu-tips-guide" rel="noopener">Sending tips with @tipU - how to guide.</a></p>
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@angryman ·
$0.03
> like what I imagine puce to be even though I have literally no idea what puce is.

I think it means vagina in Southern Italian dialect...??? Pronounced *POO-Chey*, but I could be wrong...
👍  
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@anneke ·
$0.02
It is a deep red color
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@meesterboom ·
I getcha. If that is what it seems then that is what it is!
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@steemitboard ·
Congratulations @meesterboom! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

<table><tr><td><img src="https://steemitimages.com/60x60/http://steemitboard.com/img/notifications/postallweek.png"></td><td>You published a post every day of the week</td></tr>
</table>

<sub>_You can view [your badges on your Steem Board](https://steemitboard.com/@meesterboom) and compare to others on the [Steem Ranking](https://steemitboard.com/ranking/index.php?name=meesterboom)_</sub>
<sub>_If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word_ `STOP`</sub>


To support your work, I also upvoted your post!


> You can upvote this notification to help all Steem users. Learn how [here](https://steemit.com/steemitboard/@steemitboard/http-i-cubeupload-com-7ciqeo-png)!
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@alishi ·
$0.04
If a women says 'Pardon' very slowly, it does not mean repeat yourself......
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
Hehehe, the only thing slow I guess was me, on the uptake!
👍  
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@anneke ·
$0.04
O my goodness,  How slow you are to learn sometimes..... and with two words the purple monkey is locked up, nevermind hidden.
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
I thought I was being quite clever and deductive! Lol, I was actually being a daftie. Oh well, never mind!
👍  
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@galenkp ·
$0.04
I said I wouldn't read this to my wife but I relented. She always laughs at your stuff and this wasn't any difference...Although, she followed the laugh up with, *idiot.* You, not me. Haha!
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
She is bang on right. Even I struggle to believe how stupid I was that I had analysed the problem and kept banging on!!
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@galenkp ·
$0.16
Faith always gets a good laugh out of your posts. I read about 50% of them to her and she loves it. She has not failed to laugh out loud yet.
👍  
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@gardenlady ·
$0.04
boomie!  never ever use that 3-letter word!  Just no!  NEVER!  

( I will say, tho, that having babies DOES expand the rib cage.  But....not sure you should mention that either ;0)
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
I will never mention that word nor what you have just mentioned. I have learned a hard lesson. Lol!!! :0)
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@gardenlady ·
$0.04
definitely a hard line of thought that is hard to navigate.  Even if my husband says "have you lost weight?" that can be a no-no cuz I probably haven't, lol.  It's the same with "DId you get a haircut?" and it's like "NO!  I got a haircut like over a month ago!"  Even "honey, you look terrific" can back fire ;0))
👍  
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