Cortado by meesterboom

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life · @meesterboom ·
$24.58
Cortado
![IMG-PHOTO-ART--767334905.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmeH7GxrgmLeZpQfpVmjLiNhzbub9VFp4KRgKCj2UXsazY/IMG-PHOTO-ART--767334905.jpg)

*What is that?*

*Kipper,* a shiny skinned creature that sat near me in the office was walking past and couldn't help but stop and stare at my coffee cup.

His face was all *rumply* as if he was having that dream of catching me riding his mother like a fairground donkey again.

*It's a Cortado.*

I sighed with a long-suffering expression. It seemed like it was going to be one of those days.

*Kipper* barked like a husky dancing around a crevasse in the endless icy snow.

![1561744642-picsay_20190628190149182_20190702180723778_20190703135748210_20190707142711331_20190708165038887.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmSgisvpkuFrFUnYLN3Tj1oSqhdNEm6Ykrz2yH7CwBbp5W/1561744642-picsay_20190628190149182_20190702180723778_20190703135748210_20190707142711331_20190708165038887.jpg)
<sub><sup>ha! Huskies can't bark @meesterboom!  - What!? You think I don't know that, motherfucking beehotch!?</sub></sup>

*You know, of course, that 'Cortado' literally means 'woman's drink' in Italian.*

Said Kipper contemptuously, staring at my little paper cup.

*No it fucking doesn't, you fanny?*

I said equality as contemptuously.

*It fucking does, I used to be a baristro in a coffee shop.*

*Kipper* had raised his voice as if to attract a crowd to the *Humiliating BoomDawg Show.* 

![1561744642-picsay_20190628190149182_20190702180723778_20190703135748210_20190707142711331_20190708165255605.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmaseN1bLvGZXCpn7vKttM7ksUR6f6uGNGDmPA87mmsXVq/1561744642-picsay_20190628190149182_20190702180723778_20190703135748210_20190707142711331_20190708165255605.jpg)

Indeed a few people were watching avidly.

*Oh my god, mate. It's BARISTA. NOT baristro!?*

I said, upping my voice to match his.

*It's baristro! AND it is a woman's drink!!*

*Kipper's* voice got even louder.

I decided to be the diplomat and motioned my arms up and down as if securing the saddle on his mother's back.

*Alright man, let's settle this like gentlemen. Look, there *Dario,* he's Italian. Ask him what it means.*

I smiled placatingly at *Kipper* who had gone a bit red.

He looked simultaneously triumphant and relieved like a starving fox finding a dead Pigeon. He turned to *Dario,* one of the DBA's, as he walked past.

*Hey, Dario. Can you tell us what Cortado means in Italian?*

*Dario* jerked to a stop.

*How would I fucking know, I'm not Italian!?*

He growled, shaking his big Italian looking fist at *Kipper.*

I snorted back a laugh at Kippers sudden look of terror.

*Better watch yourself mate, that's racism or something.*

![Hf21.gif](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmaMXJ7gupqMFQKHPhV9fP96qD3PdZpdnXg2vf3Eok9zDc/Hf21.gif)
👍  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 156 others
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vote details (220)
@abh12345 ·
$0.02
Sexist and racist, what a bad lad!

Is that your stunning gif trailing the post? :D
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom · 
Hahaha!! It is indeed!! I was fiddling with a new animation baddie for the new hardfork! :0)
👍  
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vote details (1)
@abh12345 ·
$0.02
Top stuff.  Hopefully you'll not just need to edit the recent EOS Rocket gif and this one will be fine!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@dreemit ·
$0.03
A baristro? Haha, I think kippers shipped barista and bistro with that one ;) 

Just got back from an electronics free five days in Vermont, my eyes thank me lol.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom · 
You have been freed!! How can you return to your cage so willingly!! I am pie-eyed, in case that wasnt obvuous, lol!
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@dreemit ·
$0.02
Not so willingly, in fact I have five tabs open for different spots we're thinking of camping this summer and tentatively taking a bigger road trip into the northwest :)

I was shit faced for much of the trip, took yesterday off and now I'm drinking some beers we brought back from Hill Farmstead brewery- that place was in the middle of nowhere up dirt roads and yet jam packed with people from all over the country.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@steem-ua · 
#### Hi @meesterboom!

Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation!
Your **UA** account score is currently 6.259 which ranks you at **#263** across all Steem accounts.
Your rank has improved 2 places in the last three days (old rank 265).

In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 172 contributions, your post is ranked at **#16**.
##### Evaluation of your UA score:

* You've built up a nice network.
* The readers appreciate your great work!
* Great user engagement! You rock!


**Feel free to join our [@steem-ua Discord server](https://discord.gg/KpBNYGz)**
👍  
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vote details (1)
@nonameslefttouse ·
$0.03
Your erect robot penis looks like it has an infection.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom · 
Precisely!! And...

It's coming... :0)
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@nonameslefttouse · 
Well that's a clever little dick.
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@ryivhnn · 
Oof I briefly wondered how you were going to fix that one, poor Dario doesn't know what he inadvertently got involved in? XD

<center>https://technonaturalist.net/sites/default/files/styles/sensible_display/public/art/2017/11/goatsig-t.png?itok=Ml3FDq7c</center>
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom · 
He is quite funny Dario, he knows when to act mean!!
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@anneke · 
**SIGH*** There is always that one know it all...
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@ocdb ·
re-meesterboom-cortado-20190711t210250224z
You got a 22.14% upvote from @ocdb courtesy of @meesterboom!  :)

@ocdb is a non-profit bidbot for whitelisted Steemians, current max bid is 40 SBD and the equivalent amount in STEEM.
Check our website https://thegoodwhales.io/ for the whitelist, queue and delegation info. Join our [Discord channel for more information.](https://discord.gg/k2Hu77b)


If you like what @ocd does, consider voting for [ocd-witness through SteemConnect](steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=ocd-witness&approve=1) or on the [Steemit Witnesses page.](https://steemit.com/~witnesses) :)
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