http://i.imgur.com/pt23nDt.jpg
## The insider scoop on my doomed mining operation

I have seen a lot of articles lately on the merits of mining crypto and the profits to be made and I thought: hey I can do this!

Now admittedly I am not the most technical of folk but still, *how hard can it be?* I thought.

So I set about starting my mining operation. First things first I set up three miners. I thought this the most diverse and therefore safe way to start earning. It cost forty bucks and a couple of bottles of whisky to entice them into thinking it was a good idea but the promised riches had dollar signs spinning in their eyes.

http://i.imgur.com/l2O2ES2.jpg

## Day 1
The miners are in good spirits. At first there is some joking and fooling around but after a bit of shouting and prodding they start to sober up and realise this aint a game.

Gerry is the first to go down the hole and it gives me no small satisfaction to see the other two - Sam and Arnie follow, their head-lights bobbing into the tunnel followed by the distant sounds of their pickaxes striking rock.

Later they return and I feed them chilli and whisky before they throw themselves exhausted into their bunks

No profit/returns : Its cool, apparently it can be a few days before the cash starts rolling in.

## Day 2
It took a while to get the miners out of their bunks. They were a bit gnarly this morning but I reminded them of the riches we would soon be reaping and gave them all a tot of whisky before sending them back down the shaft. Arnie grumbled about his back but a couple of swift kicks in the arse had him running down that hole.

I chortled. This mining lark was gonna make me rich. Bring on the crypto profit!!

http://i.imgur.com/J1XmG9t.jpg

End of shift: They returned early, a barrow of rocks behind them, chattering excitedly. We gathered round the barrow. Gerry held aloft a rock with some thick goldish streaks running through it. "We struck gold boss!" 
I stared at the rock and a vein started to throb in my temple. "What the **FUCK** is this?!" 
"Its gold boss?" Sam shuffled his feet nervously in the face of my rage.
"Does this look like ZCASH to you?" I spat? "Or Monero? Litecoin? Even that fucking Amp shit?"
"Boss its gold, there is loads down there. We gone and done it, we're rich!"
"JESUS H!!" I screamed. "**ZCASH**, I fucking sent you to mine ZCASH!! We could have been making ***3 dollars*** a day and you come back with this shit?" I threw the rock at them, then in a frenzy started grabbing the other rocks and lobbing them at their heads. "Get outta here!! Git!!!!" 

They ran. Just as well too as I had a fair old temper when my dander was tickled and boy was it tickled. 

I closed the mine. A couple of days later some guy came along and offered me a hundred steem for the hole in the ground. Pfft, fool. I pushed him hard, got him up to 200 and handed it over to him. Har. Idiots everywhere!!!