Facility #6 by meesterboom

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· @meesterboom ·
$35.84
Facility #6
![IMG-PHOTO-ART--643883816.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmRpu6HvxGtwypCdY25bKUYjSaiq9PsxFyvBGQNREvKiVN/IMG-PHOTO-ART--643883816.jpg)

*Did you steal my bloody phone charger?*

My outrage knew no bounds. Next to dating your best friends ex there were few things more sacrosanct than messing with a man's phone charger.

The old lady, *Battleship,* raised an eyebrow challengingly at me as if I was telling her of the bone in a dog's penis.

*The thing is, E20. All portable electrical devices have to be tested and certified before use in the workplace. This device was non compliant with that policy.*

She looked bored as she said this. Hell, I was bored listening to it and it wasn't the longest of speeches. 

![hfdds_20190521160638708.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmQYjE7jZcUSDnuEAKrKFJrvTsEScXThBXgh1TS22o1oyL/hfdds_20190521160638708.jpg)

*Why do you keep calling me E20?*

*Battleship* made a soft gurgling noise and her shoulders shook. With a start, I realised she was laughing.

*You don't even know, do you? That desk you insist on sitting at even though we have a strict hot-desk policy, it has a number you know?... Therefore you have a number.*

She leaned forward, resembling a vulture pecking at an arse cheek.

*E20. That's you.*

She leered.

I flinched back. 

*Hey, I'm not a number, I'm a free man?!*

*Battleship* laughed again. Properly this time. A great hacking laugh as if she was being tattooed on her*Inner Nelly.*

*E20. Unless of course you start to abide by the policy?...*

She purred.

*What policy? To take a different desk each day? Who decides this shit? Tell me, who?*

*Battleship's* demeanor changed and she glanced guiltily upward at the ceiling. 

![hfdds_20190521163551241.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmdsz3FdQWgom49GvkJnpduXDRrjYBJTPHES33cNTU77Vc/hfdds_20190521163551241.jpg)

My mind raced with detectivity. I was fairly certain there was no God, so she couldn't have been looking to him/her. We were in the basement so sheer logical deduction led me to conclude that she was subconsciously thinking of someone *above...*

Then a thought struck me.

*So this isn't about my phone charger at all, is it? This goes deeper. Who is pulling the strings? Who is NUMBER 1? TELL ME!*

I slapped the desk in front of me hard. A move which always got results.

*Battleship* jumped then leapt to her feet and slapped the desk harder than I had.

*Time for you to stop asking questions, you hear?*

She screeched, tendons standing out on her neck in a way that even I struggled to find sexy.

I stood also.

*Don't think so, baby cakes. For too long I've been shitting in the dark. It ends now. NOTHING is going to stop me finding out who is behind EVERYTHING. You hear me? NOTHING!*

We faced each other across the desk. A curious silence between us as if we had just watched the Game of Thrones finale together.

*Nothing eh? We will see about that. If you change your mind, call me.*

She scratched out a number on a post-it note and passed it over.

I took it and left.

I had a lead now, a lead to the person behind everything. The person *upstairs.* 

I was gonna crack this case. I knew it. I could feel it in my water.

As I approached my desk, I noticed something odd. My monitor and laptop dock was missing. The power outlets beside them taped over. 

A note was scrawled on an A4 piece of paper stuck to the desk. 

*Equipment removed for electrical safety tests.*

*What the fuck?!*

Mikey looked up from his screen.

*Oh yeah, dude. Facilities came, said you would have to use another desk.*

I glared at Mikey as if we were racing to ejaculate on a biscuit and he had *come* first.

*Move desks???*

I seethe-whispered.

*Yeah, it wouldn't be forever?*

I felt the blood drain from my face. Pursing my lips I snatched up my phone and dialed the number on the post-it *Battleship* had given me.

She picked it up on the second ring. I took a deep breath then released it.

*Alright. You win.*

https://youtu.be/vkal2bNKZe4
πŸ‘  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 150 others
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@davedickeyyall ·
$0.03
Lmfao... Battleship.. great nickname.. maybe I'll try it out with the ex mother-in-law
πŸ‘  
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@meesterboom ·
It works great on mother in law's ;0)
πŸ‘  
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@tts ·
To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.
[![](https://s18.postimg.org/51o0kpijd/play200x46.png)](http://ec2-52-72-169-104.compute-1.amazonaws.com/meesterboom__facility-6.mp3)
Brought to you by [@tts](https://steemit.com/tts/@tts/introduction). If you find it useful please consider upvoting this reply.
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@abh12345 ·
$0.05
> A curious silence between us as if we had just watched the Game of Thrones finale together.
#
ha!  Topical silence stuff there :)

Fking hot-desking though - how to make you feel uncomfortable and temporary in the workplace.
πŸ‘  
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@meesterboom ·
$0.04
It really does. Makes you feel like you are contacting but not getting contractor pay!

Hehe, it was that kind of silence :0D
πŸ‘  ,
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@slobberchops ·
$0.03
>Makes you feel like you are contacting but not getting contractor pay!

Wouldn't know about such things... *he said smugly*
πŸ‘  
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@donnadavisart ·
$0.02
I wish I could get this reference but I've not seen the final season @meesterboom I only watched the other seasons as we had HBO at the time (part of some rando package deal our cable company, yes our ONE monopolistic Cable company) was giving us. It's been so long since last season I've forgot the characters and now it sounds like it's not worth watching the final season. 

Oh well, also this comment isn't really about your hilarious post, but I mean it is hilarious so, that's just a given :) I feel so out of the loop as I've not had many spare moments to art or post or even comment, but I think about my 'steemit village' every day :) 

Once we can 'comment from our thoughts' I'll be okay ;)
πŸ‘  
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@darth-azrael ·
$0.03
You wouldn't happen to have read The Laundry Files novels by Charles Stross? I think you have slipped into that universe...
πŸ‘  
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@meesterboom ·
I have!! I am a huge fan. More so of the earlier ones but they are magic!!
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@gikitiki ·
$0.02
That battle was lost!

But the war still rages on!
πŸ‘  
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@meesterboom ·
The war is never over!!
πŸ‘  
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@adenijiadeshina ·
E20?? What does that actually mean. I mean a clear and simpler meaning of E20 please?
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@meesterboom ·
It's my desk number :O)
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@nathanmars ·
$0.02
I was gonna ask the same question..

> E20 ? 

I don’t usually read everything in people’s post but your posts are little special
πŸ‘  ,
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@jeezzle ·
$0.03
!beer
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@meesterboom ·
:O)
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@dreemit ·
$0.02
Hot desk policy, haha, I would totally be E19  or E21 if I worked there and hell and fire come to any who dare! Power spots must be kept!
πŸ‘  
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@meesterboom ·
They totally do. I ain't shifting!
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@choogirl ·
$0.02
Hot desks. Non compliant phone chargers. This reminds me of when I worked for Deloitte. Don't miss all that shit.
πŸ‘  
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@meesterboom ·
It is exactly like that, there is a lot of shit not to miss!
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@steem-ua ·
#### Hi @meesterboom!

Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation!
Your **UA** account score is currently 6.217 which ranks you at **#260** across all Steem accounts.
Your rank has improved 4 places in the last three days (old rank 264).

In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 198 contributions, your post is ranked at **#9**.
##### Evaluation of your UA score:

* You've built up a nice network.
* The readers appreciate your great work!
* Great user engagement! You rock!


**Feel free to join our [@steem-ua Discord server](https://discord.gg/KpBNYGz)**
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@ace108 ·
$0.02
Told you so. Some "hot" desk is going to be "hogged" desk. I know I'm one who prefer the same place mostly too rather than to have other people's mucus around best to have most of mine. :-)
πŸ‘  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
$0.04
Hehe, your own germs and associates rubbish is much better than other folks!

I had to use a desk the other day that had a sticky keyboard. It was not good!
πŸ‘  
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@ace108 ·
$0.02
I read somewhere that keyboard is one of the worst thing. Mobile phone too.
πŸ‘  
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@partiko ·
Thank you so much for participating in the Partiko Delegation Plan Round 1! We really appreciate your support! As part of the delegation benefits, we just gave you a 3.00% upvote! Together, let’s change the world!
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@stadsmanneke ·
May I , *Minor mistake @start*
A circle*ling*--> Β°thingΒ°  doesn't  (end-nor-start). 
I did an _auto-correction_ here , 
which I hate myself. 
Anyway , ...  08 :-)
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@meesterboom ·
Ha, baffled!!

*A circleling--> Β°thingΒ° doesn't (end-nor-start).*

?
πŸ‘  
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@ocdb ·
re-meesterboom-facility-6-20190523t233824678z
You got a 20.77% upvote from @ocdb courtesy of @meesterboom! :)

@ocdb is a non-profit bidbot for whitelisted Steemians, current max bid is 20 SBD and the equivalent amount in STEEM.
Check our website https://thegoodwhales.io/ for the whitelist, queue and delegation info. Join our [Discord channel for more information.](https://discord.gg/k2Hu77b)


If you like what @ocd does, consider voting for [ocd-witness through SteemConnect](steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=ocd-witness&approve=1) or on the [Steemit Witnesses page.](https://steemit.com/~witnesses) :)
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