Survival by meesterboom

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· @meesterboom ·
$26.89
Survival
![IMG-PHOTO-ART--991717018.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmP23XfZ7i88BsjKytqdQ5SWprrc699XoCmh7vHpXvmiBD/IMG-PHOTO-ART--991717018.jpg)


*Dammit!?*

I stepped back from the empty box and gave it a sound kick.

*Fuckity balls!*

I clenched my fists and made a strained growly face as if trying to *jacuzzi* a bath with my *back fish.*

We were out of supplies and that meant only one thing - I would have to venture out. Out into the wastelands that outside had become since the *Coronavirus.*

In the weeks since the announcement of the first case everything had gone to hell.

But, fuck it. A man had to survive. And if that meant getting out there and beating off rabid foxes and zombie humans with my big stick then so be it. 

Wasn't so different from my clubbing days.

It was still dark as I slipped into the deserted streets. Like a svelte and sexy lone wolf hunting for meat. 

I stuck to the shadowed side streets keeping low and quiet.

It wouldn't pay to attract attention. 

But if attention came calling, I was ready. 

I arrived at my destination without incident. 

A broken down old shop in an advanced state of decay. It looked like the scavengers might not have found it yet.

Would I find what I needed here?

Carefully, I pushed open the door.

An old fashioned bell tinkled announcing my presence.

I froze.

Ahead of me a light flickered on and a shape lumbered out of a door in the back, the silhouette raising something flat and weapon-like in one of its hands.

*Good morning! You're an early one and no mistake. What can I do for you?*

The monster flicked another switch and light spilled out over the rest of the interior.

It was no monster at all. Just a balding man in his late forties. He was holding a yellow *slippery surface* warning sign.

*You got any quilted toilet paper?*

I asked desperately.

*Afraid not. I'm fact I'm sold out of all toilet paper. Don't know when I will be getting more either.*

Bald man shook his head at the madness of it.

*None?*

My voice was a horrified croak. 

*None. Have you tried Lidl? Some people say they have some.*

Bald man offered with an apologetic smile.

*Lidl!? I wouldn't wipe my arse with that shit.*

I barked unironically.

I kicked the door open and staggered out into the street. 

Fuck. I had better head back to tell the Good Lady. I flinched at the thought, she was bound to go mental.

At least we had an Amazon delivery due. The paper they packed their parcels with ought to do for a week or two.

But at what cost to our arses?
👍  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 355 others
👎  , ,
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vote details (422)
@olaf123 ·
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👎  
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vote details (1)
@janaveda ·
$0.02
Hello @meesterboom,

It is a very good story. Unfortunately for me, it reminds me of several episodes of shortages that we have suffered in my country without coranovirus.

I think we live with other viruses, which unlike the pandemic that is developing, they have already demonstrated their lethal level that hatches in their hearts and manifests in the disdain towards those who govern.
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@meesterboom · (edited)
There is much disdain to those who govern with it without any viruses. That is certain.

It's quite bizarre as we are not used to shortages in the UK. No one seems to be prepared

!ENGAGE 30
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@abh12345 ·
$0.02
I am prepared, prepared to wash my arse in the shower post turtle!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@janaveda ·
What? My sister lived a few years in the UK, I never heard her complain about that. But times do change! The dangerous thing is getting used to.
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@misterengagement ·
<center><div class="center">https://steemitimages.com/0x0/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/50x50/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmdHfkhCPGYcfUqZqT4Br3nsmCpeVPj1BcLoepVX2PYeAE/engagetoken.png/ </div><br><br> @janaveda you have received `30 ENGAGE` from @meesterboom!<br>View and trade the tokens on [Steem Engine](https://steem-engine.com?p=market&t=ENGAGE).</center><br><hr><center><sup>This tip bot is powered by witness <a href="https://untersatz.steem.design">untersatz</a>!</sup></center>
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@sminchow ·
$0.05
I'm not sure I could add much more to the discussion here...
![Shaking Hands.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmR7x5RzxHntbNyMqXcrgkPwgBuxANmTMVhpb2FP9bbp9n/Shaking%20Hands.jpg)
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@abh12345 ·
A solid point!
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@meesterboom ·
Oh!! HAHAHA!! That's bloody hilarious!!

!ENGAGE 5O !
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@misterengagement ·
<center><div class="center">https://steemitimages.com/0x0/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/50x50/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmdHfkhCPGYcfUqZqT4Br3nsmCpeVPj1BcLoepVX2PYeAE/engagetoken.png/ </div><br><br> @sminchow you have received `5 ENGAGE` from @meesterboom!<br>View and trade the tokens on [Steem Engine](https://steem-engine.com?p=market&t=ENGAGE).</center><br><hr><center><sup>This tip bot is powered by witness <a href="https://untersatz.steem.design">untersatz</a>!</sup></center>
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@meesterboom ·
Twoot twoot

https://twitter.com/meesterboom/status/1237431316678946817?s=09
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@ruinedfuture232 ·
I have upvote this post with 100%, 0.079$
If you are contect creator follow me and i will follow back and upvote you 💪💪
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@meesterboom ·
$0.02
Thank you. I am a content creator but I don't really do the whole strokey strokey penis thing
👍  
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vote details (1)
@cryptocurator ·
$0.03
You’ll be alright. The amazon packaging will be better than the tracing paper you had a primary school in the 80’s.

Posted using [Partiko iOS](https://partiko.app/referral/cryptocurator)
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
Hahahaha!! You know too much!!! Anything would be better than the glossy nonsense! :0D
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@nonameslefttouse ·
$0.03
You can use socks.  You don't need those fancy drapes either.  *Cut em up.*
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
I'm cutting, think the Good Lady will mind if I chop up some of her duds?
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@nonameslefttouse ·
Cut first, answer questions later.
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@tamaralovelace ·
$0.03
Makes a bidet sound like a good idea now I suppose lol.  They have rationed toilet paper, paper towels, hand soap and sanitizer, paper plates and plastic cutlery where I live. 
Imagine what would happen if a true emergency happened, what madness would ensue!
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@meesterboom ·
I know! I saw someone loading up on milk in the supermarket and I was like, FFS, it won't last that long.

Our supermarkets claim they aren't training yet don't have anything. Doh!!
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@oaldamster ·
$0.03
Apparently it is scaring the living shit out off a lot of people.
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
Well, I hate to admit it and I'm a man who doesn't usually bother with that kind of thing, it got me a little rattled. You know when you have kids the idea that something could just kill ya is who unnerving!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@oaldamster ·
$0.03
True, that is a legit reason. It wend unwillingly through my mind today, what if... Not thoughts I want to have for too long. Hard to stay away from it though these days. 

Toilet paper panic has not reached our area. Or maybe that's just the Lidl who still has plenty. Mostly there seem to be worries about the effect on the economy overhere. Still it is something that is hard to keep out of ones mind at all. 

Just informed myself about it, now I can focus on going to sleep. Will still shop for toiletpaper tomorrow, but just because we're almost out and no Amazone package is on its way to us. 

Have a good night mate.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@slobberchops ·
$0.03
There was never a demand for 2nd hand bog roll... until now. Watch out for it on eBay soon!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom ·
I hope it gets a good scrubbing first!!
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@slobberchops ·
We need that abrasive stuff back they used to use in public toilets years ago. The one that took a layer of skin off your arse while using it!
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@fknmayhem ·
$0.03
Just buy the Daily Mail and Express. No need for toilet paper anymore. 
👍  
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@meesterboom · (edited)
Lol. I was thinking the sun and the star but they would do equally as well!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@fknmayhem ·
Plenty of options and, yet, probably much easier than selecting the right pattern for smoothness.

!ENGAGE 30
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@misterengagement ·
<center><div class="center">https://steemitimages.com/0x0/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/50x50/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmdHfkhCPGYcfUqZqT4Br3nsmCpeVPj1BcLoepVX2PYeAE/engagetoken.png/ </div><br><br> @meesterboom you have received `30 ENGAGE` from @fknmayhem!<br>View and trade the tokens on [Steem Engine](https://steem-engine.com?p=market&t=ENGAGE).</center><br><hr><center><sup>This tip bot is powered by witness <a href="https://untersatz.steem.design">untersatz</a>!</sup></center>
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@insaneworks ·
$0.03
Well didn't see that coming. :D
Your arses are doomed. DOOMED  I SAY!
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
They are!!! How will we get through this and if we do what will a land without arses look like!!
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@insaneworks ·
$0.02
People will have to wear suspenders in order to keep their trousers up because how is that otherwise possible if you have no ass? Otherwise every day will literally look like everyone have been caught with their pants down. And that would result in jumping everywhere, not walking because it's really frustrating to walk with your pants down because after an hour you've perhaps managed to walk about 10 meters and you're exhausted.
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@arcange · (edited)
JOIN THE REVOLUTION
![](https://i.imgur.com/1IisxxB.png)
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@old-guy-photos ·
$0.03
Me too! But it just got delayed a few days they say. I thought I had timed it perfect too. Old socks might work ....
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
There are too many socks! Oh for a world without them!!!
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