Thursdays With Uncle Boom #21 by meesterboom

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· @meesterboom ·
$243.99
Thursdays With Uncle Boom #21
![IMG-PHOTO-ART--1645789289.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmYVzJC2RxUbE56Pzzo11xbwH8ezH7cawTUHK6KVLjhdfR/IMG-PHOTO-ART--1645789289.jpg)

I was spending some time in my office at the Docks, making sure everything was ship-shape before setting out the next day to Antigua to catch some sun. My clerk Nob was shivering in the cold in the reception. I was in the inner office and leaned over to stoke the open fire a bit.

Nob came over and knocked on the door. I opened it.

*What is it Nob, can't you see I am trying to drink some Brandy?*

*Sorry Milord... Your cousin, Anderson, is here to see you.*

Nob looked longingly at the open fire. 

*Well send him in you shivering tit and get back to work!*

![Shivering+tit.gif](https://steemitimages.com/DQmR28nu11RK9utf9D7AhH5d6ndeLaswyLv2iJHsSDwnNcH/Shivering%2Btit.gif)

My cousin breezed in. He was a portly fellow with a face like a lepers shin. We had never really gotten on but, well, family is family. 

*Boomy! We are having a party at the Tradesmans Hall this evening. I was wondering if you would like to go, be my __plus one__ as it were?*

*A party? With you, the famed prancing tadger of Woosnam Street? No thank you. I sail to Antigua tomorrow and need to get a good night's sleep.*

*No need to be like that old chap. I say, you wouldn't want to pour me a snifter of that fine looking brandy would you?*

*No I bloody well wouldn't. Now, get out of here before I stick my shoe up your arse and tell you it's a sailors cock.*

He left grumbling about why *he even bothered.*

![151352269_20171224185731234_20171226191248277_20171227182907485_20171228012520716_20171228172429654.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmRtbzwLgdQe4vLQHpaCuGs3PpGxxqfiqw74dkVNRbaU84/151352269_20171224185731234_20171226191248277_20171227182907485_20171228012520716_20171228172429654.jpg)

I settled back to drink my brandy. It was getting a little chilly. I shouted for Nob to come in and add some coals to the fire. After he did so he stood for a moment in the warmth. He took a deep breath.

*Milord. I was wondering if you could pay me for working on Christmas day... I am struggling to put food on the table this year and my little boy, Hob. He, well he is quite poorly and I was hoping to get him a stick and hoop to play with. My wife too, she feels the cold so badly. I was hoping to buy her a shawl to keep her warm but I just don't have the money. Please Milord, it's Christmas., everyone else gets paid for working Christmas day.*

I gave old Nob a keen look. 

*Money is it? Why is it always fucking money with you lot? Next thing you know you will be wanting to drink the brandy from my glass. Eh! And your wife feels the cold? She is a pretty thing. Maybe she needs a hot boaby inside her, that would warm her up.*

He looked at me forlornly with big sad eyes. 

*Oh for fuck sake. Take one of the boiled hams. Merry Christmas and all that.*

His face lit up with joy. 

*Oh thank you Milord. Now we can eat on Christmas day!*

*Bah humbug, now get out.*

![151352269_20171224185731234_20171226191248277_20171227182907485_20171228012520716_20171228172429654.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmRtbzwLgdQe4vLQHpaCuGs3PpGxxqfiqw74dkVNRbaU84/151352269_20171224185731234_20171226191248277_20171227182907485_20171228012520716_20171228172429654.jpg)

I went to bed early that night despite not being tired. Big day tomorrow after all. As I lay there, I was disturbed by a clinking noise from the fireplace. It sounded like chains?

*Woooooo, wooooooooo.*

I sat up in bed. 

*What the bloody fuck?*

Near the fireplace materialised an apparition. It was the thing making the strange *woooing*. It looked familiar. 

*Harry, is that you?*

The ghost turned its mournful face to me. It had a complexion like cloudy piss. 

*Yes Boomer, it's me. You killed me Boomy and now I am dead. Wooooooo, wooooooooo!*

![151352269_20171224185731234_20171226191248277_20171227182907485_20171228012520716_20171228173320456.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmWwscWvCmYWii99UWpoK1GAipyv5CX3PLqBQK9WwDqEsa/151352269_20171224185731234_20171226191248277_20171227182907485_20171228012520716_20171228173320456.jpg)

*Fucking stop woo'ing man, it's quite annoying. What are you doing in my bedroom? At night? A little peculiar if you ask me?*

*I'm a ghost Boomy! a ghost, it's horrible being dead. It's all pain and chains! Wooo..*

I stood up and grabbed my cane and experimentally whacked at him. 

*Ow, Ow, stop that. OW, stop!*

*You can still take a caning eh.* 

I smirked. 

*What the bloody hell do you want then... Come on then, out with it you annoying dead bastard.*

The ghost of Harry looked hurt. I was not sure if it was from the caning or from being murdered some weeks past.

*I am here to tell you that you will be visited by three ghosts tonight. They will...*

I whacked him several times with my cane.  

*Ow, Ow!! What are you doing?!?! I am trying to, OW! Pass on a message!!*

*Stick your message up your ghostly arse Harry. I've decided to go to a party tonight.*

Harry went paler than you would expect even a ghost to manage.

*But, but... It's very important. They are coming Harry, you can't not be here?!! They will be so angry with me.*

I beat at Harry's apparition with my cane till it disappeared with a screech. That was better, I hauled on some of my fine clothes and checked the time. Ah, it wasn't too late. Time to party. I wondered if I should stop by old Nob's house and give his wife a warming with my *mizzen mast...* After all, it was Christmas?

Yes, that's what I would do, maybe I would slip Nob a couple of coppers for the trouble. Yes, I was really getting into this whole Christmas thing. 

![1513522.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmVoFMofKGXHofyxRbYYdYKiCR4CrEiAhrqcU7QzkK2RuN/1513522.jpg)

Later I came home quite drunk and smelling of cat's vaginas. It had been a rather successful evening. Before heading to bed I browsed through my chats for some...

![15010hs_20170801211922612_20170802194535670_20170803172706243_20170810172140343_20170824183323106.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmcXBKXBqRsiNrF1upGP816QMQ3RVqkkiaRXdSLhucgpVn/15010hs_20170801211922612_20170802194535670_20170803172706243_20170810172140343_20170824183323106.jpg)

Well, once again the chats are feeble. I will have to plumb the spam comments. What do we have?

**SpamFarmer1:** Salut your writing, dream is something that definitely get tomorrow, if we always pray and work
This article reminds me to keep digging and keep searching for information and new things.


**UncleBoom:** Sometimes when I am ejaculating with my wife I remember our night together in Paris

<center>----------------------</center>

**SpamFarmer2:** you write a nice story friend

**UncleBoom:** Thank you, it wasnt always thus

**SpamFarmer2:** you mostly welcome

**UncleBoom:** Splendid, I shall call Eric and advise him of this new development

**SpamFarmer2:** yes of course you may

**UncleBoom:** Do you have the diamonds?

*Aw, I guess he didn't. Dammit!*

![15010hs_20170801211922612_20170802194535670_20170803175417428.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmeDE9cgacGdRrq31x4K39VLYMR84NZm9TcNTCYDS3MR22/15010hs_20170801211922612_20170802194535670_20170803175417428.jpg)

Well, there is much fun to be had in conversing with the comment spammers. I would heartily recommend it. The chats are still there if you prefer some anonymous *kebab riffling.* And remember...

![15010hs_20170801211922612_20170802194535670_20170803174641395_1.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmWkQ2oktu6z6CuViY7E5yqqqCqAJZGLngCy2JTZvdAbPr/15010hs_20170801211922612_20170802194535670_20170803174641395_1.jpg)
👍  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 115 others
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@venox ·
https://media.giphy.com/media/ljWp79gBvRgiY/giphy.gif
👍  
👎  
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@asgharali ·
Great and amazing story. Nice dear
👎  
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@meesterboom ·
Liar liar! No vote tsk tsk!
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@vispasian ·
$0.13
A funny story turned out but it requires continuation as it seems to me
👍  , ,
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@meesterboom ·
It is part of a series :0)
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@akilasultana373 ·
Great story. You are a good writer. If I could be a writer like you! :)
Mind blowing.
👎  
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@meesterboom ·
Wow, I wish I could be a voter like you... Oh no, wait, I don't, because you are a shit voter!!
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@akilasultana373 ·
sorry dear. If I make a mistake, forgive me. Because I am new here....I may happen. sorry for my unknown mistake.
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@beginningtoend ·
$0.12
Argh! My mind got to wandering as I read and when I got to the end I realized I had lost the plot. I hate when that happens, but I did like the bit about cat’s vaginas and a night in Paris. Always a fun read.
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
It's probably quite ready to lose the plot with these ones!! Hehe :0)
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@seyiodus ·
$0.12
Spammers hmm, I hope I am not spamming anyone. I do away with words. lolx.
By the way, Why did you stop harry from giving the message. May be truly, the 3 ghosts are coming. Hahaha.
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
Well, Uncle Boom has no time to waste on ghosts. He had real things to be doing, like sleeping with his clerks wife and going to parties! :0D
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@seyiodus ·
$0.12
😱 Uncle Boom's head is going to be romeved from his neck if his clerk hears of his actions.
lolx. Thanks for another wonderful night with your article.
👍  
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@farseer ·
Still has to get better but funny :P Keep that up uncle
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@meesterboom ·
I will indeed ;0)
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@folakere ·
I'm here for this Thursday with @meesterboom. Lol
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@meesterboom ·
Smashing :0)
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@nolnocluap ·
$0.32
Nob had it coming. I mean he basically offered you his wife and all. One does not simply accept a gentleman's ham and not expect knuckles to come knocking on your door later in the evening.  I'd ask, boom you old dog, but gentlemen never tell.
👍  , ,
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@meesterboom ·
$0.79
I see you have a keen understanding of the situation!! Yes, he put it out there like a mutton pie hawker on the streets of London
👍  , ,
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@nolnocluap ·
She'll learn the folly of her husband's ways and make no mistake! Go show chap,  damn good show.
👍  ,
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@crazy3 ·
Great post bro
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@meesterboom ·
Cheers!
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@artistchristian ·
$0.12
that's a nice tit you got there. I kind of want to see you make Nob to be honest lol. 
I'm a little worried how you came to know what a cats vagina smells like...
On a separate note, my voting power is literally that of a spammer, ha.
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
Lol, spammers usually have voting power in the high ninety is percent range I have noticed cos they never vote!!

Cats vaginas, strangely perfumed. A gentleman never tells...
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@mcfarhat ·
$0.13
shoot we just cant find those diamonds anywhere!
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
It's a set up!!! :0D
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@cecicastor ·
$0.13
>came home quite drunk and smelling of cat's vaginas

Where does this stuff come from Mr. Boom. ROFL
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
Aaahh, I genuinely don't know! I teach for an expression and one just pops out!!
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@cecicastor ·
$0.13
Well, keep them popping! They are hilarious.
👍  
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@jlufer ·
$0.13
Newly Thursday as the week has gone by, welcome Tio Boom, the boom dude is a true sage, the family is the family and it will always be even if he has "leprous pimple face"
SpamFarmers are reinventing themselves, every day they surprise with a new prayer, it is easier to make a prayer that is successful than to work hard to achieve success. Luckily we have Uncle Boom to educate them.
Thank you very much for another funny presentation by Tio Boom.
I wish you a wonderful afternoon dear friend @meesterboom
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
Thank you @jlufer Uncle Boom is always pleased to show the s the errors of their ways!!
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@hndmarshall ·
$0.13
another wonderful post!... will be watching for the next...wait did someone say party?...got stripers?... not a party without strippers...lol...upvoted and resteemed!
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
$0.07
I happen to agree, it can't be a real part without strippers, lolz!
👍  
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@naquoya ·
$0.13
The Christmas spirit is strong with you, good sir. Generous to a fault.
👍  ,
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@meesterboom ·
I am, the generosity just keeps flowing!
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@len.george ·
$0.13
Ah, the hard life of being a gentleman, wearing out the spare cane beating the **** out of a Ghost, having to show the poor clerk's wife what a gentleman is really like, [poor fellow has no K in his name]and then returning home smelling like that. 
At least you missed the three ghosts and filled the night in so you are ready to set out on your journey.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@meesterboom · (edited)
$0.11
Exactly, you have to be made of stern stuff to cope with such indignities!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@charles1 · (edited)
$0.63
Hmmmm who dares get a gentleman excited especially after taking a brandy? the lady must have enjoyed her time with uncle boom (I guess) and some big silver to make her happy on Christmas day...another good one indeed, makes me more hungry for Thursday with uncle booms genteman tales...the 3 Ghosts need caning too and some hot brandy to make them happy.....keep it up,,,,uppped, always!!!
In my latest post (pls see it) I indicated an abuse going on here and I want you to see it and take action. I wish you more success
👍  , , ,
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@meesterboom ·
Ooooh, an abuse is it. I will have to see!!

And yes, a gentleman and brandy is a heady combination!
👍  
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@charles1 ·
$0.13
Hahahha I agree....hope you join me in the gentleman club on new year eve ie after caning the scammers with uncle booms´s cane and turning them to  ghost? hmmmm a gentleman way of solving such issue isnt it?
👍  ,
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@gardenlady ·
$0.20
A classic ;0)
👍  ,
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@meesterboom ·
$0.11
Hehe, inspiration comes from the strangest of places at times :OD
👍  ,
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@cryptomonitor ·
Great post there, keep up good work ! <br><br> <i> This replay was created using STEEMER.NET Alpha ( support STEEMER.NET Transactor / Wallet / Exchange Project here: https://steemit.com/investors-group/@cryptomonitor/steemer-net-steem-blockchain-transactor-for-windows-android-app-funding-update-243-1200-sbd-28-12-2017 ) </i>
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@ryivhnn ·
$0.15
So there I was wondering if we would make it through this sordid tale without ridiculous looking faces and then BOOM there's cousin Anderson XD

I'm wondering what the ghosts got up to while Boomy was hanging at the party XD

<center>[![goatsig](https://technonaturalist.net/sites/default/files/styles/sensible_display/public/art/2017/11/goatsig-t.png?itok=Ml3FDq7c)](/@ryivhnn)</center>
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
We have to have a ridiculous face!! :0)

Maybe they had a sexy party! It's Christmas after all!
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@ryivhnn ·
$0.10
Oh maybe, seems a legitimate use of t ime if they were rocking up anyway.

And yes, yes you really do have to have the ridiculous faces, they seem to be a TWUB trademark XD

<center>[![goatsig](https://technonaturalist.net/sites/default/files/styles/sensible_display/public/art/2017/11/goatsig-t.png?itok=Ml3FDq7c)](/@ryivhnn)</center>
👍  
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@rohit12123 ·
An entertaining story turned out yet it requires continuation as it appears to me..

Upvoted and resteemed
👍  
👎  
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@meesterboom ·
Thats what @vispasian said.
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@onetree ·
$0.13
I find myself waiting for the phrase I just can't type...*cat's vaginas*???!!!
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
Haha, ah yes!! Cats vaginas :0D
👍  
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@zeppelin ·
$0.13
The Shivering Tit would be an awesome name for a pub.
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
Ha, it sure would! I could make the sign!
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@zeppelin ·
$0.13
I can see this now in neon.  That would be one of the coolest things ever.  LOL  

https://steemitimages.com/DQmR28nu11RK9utf9D7AhH5d6ndeLaswyLv2iJHsSDwnNcH/Shivering%2Btit.gif
👍  
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@jedau ·
$0.20
A few coppers? Don't be disrespectful, man. Even if he's a peasant, he still deserves a little reward. Make him watch as you do the *horizontal cha cha* with his wife. Watching you warm her up would surely warm Nob up.

Those spamfarmers look like they're in the midst of another evolution. Gone are the links and in come the shallow rambling. Woe is them!
👍  ,
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@meesterboom ·
Yes the warblinandom ranking that even more exposed their ignorance of the post. Dearie me!

You are right, he could watch and learn some gentlemanly tricks !
👍  
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@jedau ·
Who knows, we might have a burgeoning cuckold in our midst!
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@princessmewmew ·
$0.12
i almost spat my tea out at *cat's vaginas*. So this takes place every Thursday,  then?
👍  
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@meesterboom ·
I can't promise cats vaginas every week but yes. Every Thursday lol
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